Xiaolin Grail War
by bubbajack
Summary: Omi Dragon of Water never felt like he had a home. Kimiko Tohomiko Dragon of Fire finds out there's more to her family than 'just' being the daughter to a video game CEO. Clay realizes water is thicker than blood on this earth, and Riamundo's allegiance is fickle as the wind... What lessons shall they learn from their Servants once they are dragged into the Holy Grail War?
1. Chapter 1

**Xiaolin Grail War**

**By: Bubbajack**

**Beta/Co-Author: IcySnowSage**

**Disclaimer: We do not claim ownership of FSN or Xiaolin Showdown. They belong to Type-Moon and Warner Bros respectively.**

**Ch.1: A New Kind of War**

In the Xiaolin temple up in the mountains of China, Omi, the Xiaolin Dragon of Water had been diligently going over a scroll, in the temple archives when the peace of the morning was suddenly shattered by a harrowing cry.

"Rai, give it back!" Kimiko's high pitched screech echoed throughout the temple grounds.

"Not before you tell me where you got it from Kimmy!" Raimundo teased.

'_What is all that racket?' _Omi, who was currently studying books on human anatomy, wondered. Placing his reading material aside, he decided to go see what all the fuss was about.

He saw Raimundo with the Third Arm Sash tucked around his waist dangling from the extra appendage, from a thick silver chain, was a deep red ruby the size of a fist and shaped in the rough form of a heart. Seeing the Wind Dragon's teasing smile and Kimiko's furious look, Omi could only assume that the pendant was something truly special to her.

'_I should do something,'_ Omi thought to himself still feeling guilty for his recent invasion of Kimiko's privacy and his insults of her. Kimiko giving him the shoulder of ice as Raimundo called. It gave him a feeling like a knife to his chest. Omi who was used to being alone, and had been all of his fourteen years, didn't know why, but her sudden silence _hurt him_.

So thinking to make things right, he stepped forwards towards the arguing teenagers. "What is going on here?"

"Relax Chromedome, I'm just having a lil fun with spitfire here," Raimundo joked waving the pendant just out of her reach with the Third Arm Sash before playfully pulling it back.

"Fun? This does not look at all amusing for Kimiko Raimundo," Omi spoke in a tone wise beyond his years. "It seems as though you are just getting amusement from her anger… how very… Heylin of you."

Raimundo's brows knit in anger at the comment. "What did you just say to me lemon head?"

"I said that you are acting not like the Xiaolin Warrior you are supposed to be, but a Heylin Warrior. They who use their rage and anger to fight. Those who attain strength from the pain and suffering of others, and bending the elements to their will," Omi replied. "We are Xiaolin Warriors Raimundo, our strength comes from helping others, and being in tune with nature. Now please, return to Kimiko her heirloom."

The Dragon of the Wind scowled before tossing the ruby pendant to Kimiko. "Whatever." He then stalked off with his hands in his pockets.

"And put that Wu back in the Vault! If Master Fung finds out you took it without permission, you will be scrubbing the floors by hand!" Omi called after him warningly.

"Yeah, yeah chromedome, don't worry about me," Raimundo said as he turned the corner… and ran right into Master Fung.

The elderly monk raised an eyebrow. "Raimundo, I do not recall you asking permission to train with the Third Arm Sash."

The Brazilian rubbed the back of his head. "Well ya see, funny thing about that."

"Yes, I'm sure you can tell me all about it while you scrub the temple floors," Master Fung replied as he took the Third Arm Sash from Raimundo with enough force to spin him around. He then grabbed him by the back of his gi and dragged him away, "Come along young monk, the floors won't clean themselves now will they?"

"Awe, man!"

"I tried to warn him. Did I not try to warn him Kimiko?" Omi said. The little monk soon found himself embraced by the taller girl with a certain amount of softness squishing on his head. '_Why is she commencing with the girl hugs?' Not that I mind but why?'_

"Thanks so much for getting my pendant back Omi that was so sweet of you," Kimiko said, holding him close.

"I-It was no trouble!" Omi squeaked out. "I… I honestly felt I owed you in any case."

Kimiko pulled back confused. "Owed me, for what?"

"For going into your room and destroying your things… for the way I treated you. It was very unchill of me." The little monk said, looking away guiltily.

Kimiko was touched. It really did hurt her feelings that the boy's went into her room when she was tied up by the Tangle Web Comb. Omi having been raised in this very temple by men his whole life didn't know that was wrong. Raimundo and Clay knew better though. '_Yet they went and encouraged bad behaviour in Omi! Jerks!'_ Kimiko thought to herself. She wasn't happy that Omi ate her lipstick but he thought it was candy which just went on to _prove _how cherubically innocent he truly was.

"Omi, why _did_ you think my lipstick was candy?"

"Oh that, Raimundo said it was candy. Yet it did not taste very good," Omi admitted while his face scrunched at remembering the horrid taste of the lipstick.

'_Oh that jerk! If I didn't dislike him enough already!'_ Kimiko seethed, a plume of fire bursting to life around her clenched fist.

"Kimiko your flaming hot!" Omi cried out.

The japanese girl shook her head, thinking she must've misheard. "I'm sorry what?"

"Your hand, it is ablaze!" Omi pointed at her fist.

"Woah!" Kimiko shook her hand causing the flames to go out. "Dragon Warrior of Fire indeed huh?"

Omi nodded. "Indeed, fire is a strong element but it is fueled by strong emotions like passion, anger, or care for others, you should be careful Kimiko lest your flames consume you," Omi warned.

"Has this happened to Fire Dragon Warriors in the past?" Kimiko asked, becoming concerned.

Omi stroked his nonexistent beard in thought. "I do recall a former Fire Dragon who fed her flames with a lust for power, and that led her to joining the Heylin side…" Omi then smiled. "Such a thing would never happen to Kimiko though."

Kimiko raised an eyebrow bemused. "How'd you figure?"

"Kimiko is a good person. She would never fall to the darkness, and…" Omi paused, as if unsure to continue.

"And?" Kimiko pressed wondering what he was going to say.

"If Kimiko were ever to fall, I would be there to catch her," Omi said before running away as quickly as he could… which was really quite fast. He left the Dragon of Fire blushing behind him.

* * *

_'Omi,'_ Kimiko thought as she sat in her room meditating. '_Such a sweet boy… Now that I think about it, I don't know much about him. I suppose I could just ask him,' _She mused. '_But some of my questions are kind of personal. Maybe I should talk to Master Fung instead?' _So thinking, she got up from her lotus position and made her way towards the Shen Gong Wu Vault where she knew Master Fung and the other masters meditated.

She found him exactly where she thought he would be sitting in a circle with the rest of the senior monks. The steps to the Shen Gong Wu Vault were raised making the floor perfectly smooth. Upon hearing her approach the bald and still black moustached master opened his blue eyes.

"Ah Kimiko, what brings you to us today? Have you sought to join us in meditation?" Master Fung offered her an empty space next to him.

"Ehehe, no thank you Master Fung. Actually, I was hoping to talk to you privately for a little bit? If I'm not interrupting anything that is?"

"Certainly," Master Fung got to his feet. "Let us walk shall we?"

The two strode the grounds of the Xiaolin Temple for a time. It was a companionable silence like one shared between a teacher and a trusted student. After a time, Kimiko finally spoke. "Master Fung, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions… questions about Omi?"

The elder monk turned and eyed her curiously, "Would it not be better to get your answers directly from _him_ rather than a secondhand source?"

"Some of the questions I have are a little…" Kimiko hesitated. "Personal, so I thought that you would be the better choice since you, you know, are kinda like Omi's dad?"

Fung smiled a bit when she said that. "I see, well then, go ahead and ask Kimiko. Curiosity isn't a sin after all."

That made the young teen smile. "Right so… has Omi really grown up here his entire life?"

Master Fung nodded. "He has, we found him one foggy morning abandoned on our doorstep as a baby wrapped in swaddling cloth. We raised him as best we could, he's trained since the age of five in yang style taichiquan which has a deep connection with the element of water. He has had few hobbies outside of training."

"Few, as in not none?" Kimiko said surprised before adding, "Wait, are all of us supposed to have personal fighting styles?"

Master Fung smiled a bit at that. "Technically yes, Fire Warriors are traditionally trained in Southern Dragon Claw kung-fu. Air Warriors Baguazhang, and Earth Warriors are taught Hung Gar style of kung fu."

Kimiko crossed her arms, "Um, why haven't you taught us any of this yet? No offense meant Master Fung."

The older man laughed. "None taken Kimiko, and to answer your question it seemed to me that the three of you already had some form of skill. Raimunda in Brazilian jiu jitsu, Clay in wrestling, and you, seem to be trained in kenpo karate unless I miss my guess?"

Kimiko nodded. "My grandma on my mom's side insisted. Said it was one family tradition she wanted to keep up. Not like I minded; but we were talking about Omi's hobbies?" she segwayed back on the topic of conversation.

"Yes, yes, while before you all came along and Wuya was released from her prison, Omi had never left the hills beyond this temple, we have had occasional contact with the outside world. Mostly in the form of merchants who bring supplies. Six months after Omi first began his training one such traveler came by selling a guzheng, a traditional chinese string instrument. Since Omi was young and incapable of normal meditation at the time, I thought learning a traditional instrument might be just what he needed." Master Fung's blue eyes twinkled with mirth, "Turns out I was correct."

Kimiko's own blue eyes shined in awe. "So Omi can play a Chinese zither?"

The elderly monk's head bobbed up and down, "Quite beautifully too. However nowadays he only plays when extremely stressed. It's like a… release valve for him."

Kimiko pouted a bit, '_Awe, I was hoping to hear him place sometime.'_

Seeing her face, Fung said, "You might be able to get him to play you a song if you asked though."

"Me? Why do you say that?" Kimiko asked as she pointed at herself.

"Seriously, does Fung need to spell it out for ya Kimmie Cub?" Dojo asked while crawling up to the two in his miniature form.

Kimiko put her hands on her hips and glared at the not-gecko. "Spell _what _out for me Dojo?"

"That all bonds, while important, some are deeper, stronger, and more important than others," Master Fung said cryptically. "Your bond with Omi is strong. Or rather, his bond with you is."

'_What does that… wait… is he implying what I think he's implying?'_ Kimiko thought, blushing at the implication.

"I think she got it," Dojo said grinning like the cat who ate the canary.

"Dojo," Master Fung chastised before turning to Kimiko. "Kimiko, I know not how Omi thinks of you, I can only speculate. Yet bear in mind that you are the first ever girl he's met and the only one he's spent a majority of time with, on top of all of this, you have taken an almost vested interest in both his safety and happiness. Often chastising Raimundo for doing cruel pranks on him yes?"

It was true Kimiko admitted. Seeing Omi heartbroken infuriated her. It just felt like something was wrong with the world… like raindrops from the sun. It also made her want to lash out at whatever hurt him, and _burn it to ashes_. '_But is that just my normal overprotective instincts acting up or… something more?' _She asked herself, getting flustered for even thinking that thought.

"The feeling might be mutual I think," Dojo teased.

"Dojo!" Both master and apprentice yelled.

The little dragon held up his hands defensively, "Fine, fine, sorry, sorry. Still, if I could just say one more thing?"

Kimiko huffed and crossed her arms. "What is it?"

"I've watched the little cueball grow up his entire life and you've… really brought him outta his shell. That said, if this is going the way I think it's going… well, just be patient with him ok?"

"What would you know about…" Kimiko hesitated to use the term romance because she wasn't sure how Omi felt. Kimiko wasn't even sure how she felt at the moment. "This situation Dojo?"

"Oh, I dunno I've only been around more than fifteen hundred years and might've seen this happen multiple times," Dojo said smugly with a hint of bitterness in his tone.

Kimiko scowled at the not-geko, "Just because it's happened before doesn't mean it's happening now."

Dojo rolled his eyes and rose up a bit so he could put his hands behind his head. "History has a way of repeating itself sweetheart. Trust me, I know. I've seen it happen time after time."

Kimiko turned to Master Fung and bowed politely. "Thank you for your time Master Fung. You've certainly given me… much to think about."

"Of course Kimiko," Fung replied with a lesser bow, "Go, enjoy the rest of your day. We shall inform you if a Shen Gong Wu activates."

As the Dragon of Fire walked off, Dojo commented with a somewhat stern expression, "Should we have told her?"

Master Fung shook his head, "No, it is much too soon to reveal that."

"Yeah, good point."

* * *

Kimiko was still consumed with thoughts of her youngest fellow monk only now they were more turbulent than before. '_Does Omi see me as… dateable? He's never even been on a date and would have no clue what to do if he were on one. Okay, slow your roll Kimiko and think about this logically. You know all of three boys. Clay who is the cool older brother you've always wanted since your sister is hardly around, Riamundo who is… urg, infuriating, and Omi.' _

Thinking about it logically, Omi was her only real choice, not that she really minded that all that much. He had this sweet naivete about him, finding childlike awe in the simple everyday things she commonly took for granted. The world was like this giant wonderful toybox to him. Kimiko found herself wanting to show it all to him to see him smile.

Kimiko was so lost in thought she bumped into someone and fell over. "You alright there little lady?" Clay asked, offering her a hand up. Kimiko smiled and accepted the hand. "Sorry about that Clay.

The blonde cowboy shook his head. "Don't worry 'bout it. Ya seemed lost in thought though Kimiko. Anythin' I can help with?"

'_Big brother to the rescue,'_ Kimiko thought with a smile. "Well, not really I think."

Clay smiled goodnaturedly. "You sure, you sound a bit… lost if'n you don't mind me sayin' so."

"Well I am a bit confused about stuff... " Kimiko said.

Clay nodded. Before pointing a thumb behind his shoulder. "Right then, c'mon we can go talk in my room if yer okay with that?"

Kimiko nodded and followed Clay down the hall to his room. He opened the sliding door panel and ushered her through first, "Ladies first, plus it only seems fair that you get a peek in my room since I saw yers. Sorry 'bout that again," Clay said while taking off his hat bashfully.

"It's fine Clay. I forgive you for that… I'm still a bit miffed you read my diary though," Kimiko shot the cowboy a mild glare causing him to fidget before she headed into his room. His futon was off to one side of the room, on some shelves were some pictures along with his lasso and a sun bleached cattle skull. All in all the room had a strange kung fu cowboy esthetic that just worked.

Kimiko went over to the pictures and looked at them. There were three in all. The first showed Clay with whom she presumed was his mother, father, and two younger siblings. His father and mother stood behind Clay each having a hand on a smiling Clay and another on their other children who looked put out. The second picture was of Clay with only his mother. She was an older woman willowy with blonde hair and she was smiling, but she looked sickly pale. The last was of Clay with an older man who looked to be in his sixties with a tan complexion and a snowy white goatee with an eyepatch over his right eye, his arm over Clay's shoulder.

"That's my grandpapi. We always did get along better than I did with my Pa," Clay said pointing to the man.

"And your mother?" Kimiko asked sadly.

Clay grimaced. "She passed when I was but twelve, from Pneumonia."

Kimiko put a comforting hand on the cowboy's shoulder. "I… I know what that's like. Lost my mom when I was six… car accident."

"Shucks, I'm sorry Kimiko," Clay said lowering his head in respect while putting his hat to his chest.

"Thank you… but at least we _knew_ our mothers. Omi… poor little guy was abandoned here as a baby."

Clay shook his head. "Tarnation. Who would do that to a munchkin?"

Kimiko shook her head, she didn't know who or why. "I don't know but Omi is… Omi."

"Yeah," Clay agreed, "So, what's on yer mind, boy troubles?"

"I… how did you know?" Kimiko asked amazed.

Clay tapped his noggin. "Little lady, I am a big brother with a… well two little sisters now I sus'ppose, I have a sixth sense when it comes to these types of things."

Kimiko hugged Clay, "And I have an awesome big brother now to."

"Aww, shucks, yer makin' me blush. So, who's the lucky feller? Omi or Raimundo?"

"Omi… maybe," Kimiko admitted with a blush but not before making sure Clay's door was shut.

Clay smiled. "I had a feelin' you two might work out. I mean I had to have a talk with the lil guy about that book of his but once I steered him right 'bout how to treat a lady I figured you two had a better shot then Raimundo did. Guy has his head so far up his backside he must smell compost when he breathes."

"Hahaha, yeah. Clay I have a question if you don't mind?"

"Shoot."

"What… is a polecat?" Kimiko asked before hastily adding, "Now, I don't mean to be rude, but a lot of the time I need to work to understand what you're saying. In Japan, they teach English but it's only basic English. A lot… well a majority of your idioms are kinda lost on me," Kimiko admitted sheepishly. Being Japanese it wasn't in her nature to admit or accept failure.

Clay scratched at his head. "Oh… well shoot I'm sorry. I didn't mean to confuse ya. A polecat's another term for a skunk where I'm from. They can be down right nasty critters too. I bet you have similar things in Japan huh? You got them pink birds that fly all graceful like."

"You mean the cranes?" Kimiko said with a giggle. "Yes we have them. National bird."

"State Bird of Texas is the Northern Mockingbird," Clay replied.

Kimiko cocked her head to the side, "Why a mockingbird?"

"Well according to legend the mockingbird was chosen because it was a fighter. Willing to die for the protection of his home, falling, if need be, in its defense, like any true Texan..."

Kimiko blinked, "Wow, tough bird."

"Yep," Clay said with Texan pride. "So maybe Omi huh? What'd the lil guy do to catch yer eye if'n you don't mind my askin'?"

Reaching into the folds of her robe, Kimiko pulled out her family heirloom. Clays eyes widened when he saw it. Then he let out an appreciative whistle. "Now that's a perty rock, an' make no mistake. That's gotta be an almost twenty carat ruby in a heart cut unless I miss my guess?"

"You know about gemology?" Kimoko said surprised.

"Well, I _am_ the Dragon of Earth aren't I?" Clay said going over to an opposite wall to a small bookshelf she'd overlooked. He then pulled out a book on minerals and metals. "I feel I'd be remiss if I didn't know my element," Clay moved closer to the pendant book in hand. "May I?" he asked politely.

Kimiko nodded, and removed her pendant, handing it to her fellow dragon. He weighed it in his hand. "Yep 'bout twenty carat. It's more than nineteen and a half I can tell that much just by holdin' it."

"Wow, that's amazing Clay," Kimiko was truly impressed. "If this whole Earth Dragon thing doesn't work out, you could always become a jeweler."

"T'weren't nothin'. As for the whole jeweler thing… I dunno if my Pa would approve. He expects me to take over the ranch for him someday," Clay said with an edge of bitterness in his tone.

Kimiko cocked her head to the side. "Is that what you really want though Clay?"

"I… dunno. I've just always done what was expected of me," Clay said in a pondering tone.

Kimiko put her hands on her hips. "Well maybe now that you're here, you can think about what _you_ want to do with your life rather than what you've been _told_ to do with it. It's your life Clay, no one else's."

"Well I'll be, you got a point there," the cowboy admitted. "But before we get sidetracked _again, _why ole one ball?" Seeing Kimko not getting it he explained, "That was a billiards joke."

"Oh... '' Kimiko then slapped Clay on the arm once the joke clicked. "Clay, not cool! Don't make fun of Omi's head. Even Dojo doesn't do that."

"Apologies, apologies," Clay said, "Still why him."

Kimiko sat cross legged on the floor and Clay joined her. "I dunno, it's just… there's something about seeing his face light up whenever we leave the temple you know?"

"Like a squirrel on sugar," Clay said nodding. "You think I'm jokin' but I really _have _seen a squirrel on sugar!" the texan said, putting his hand over his heart. "Back when my momma was still alive she liked her coffee with sugar cubes; well one day, a critter snuck in through the open window and nabbed a cube… it went, pardon the pun, nuts. Like you've seen how… squirrely a squirrel get's right?" Seeing Kimiko nod Clay continued, "Well crank that up by ten, then add my momma screamin' my Pa tryin' to get it with a broom… and me finally lurin' it outside with peanuts."

"Just like during your Showdown for the Fist of Tebigong!" Kimiko noted.

"Yep, that was the first time I realized I have a sort of animal magnetism if you will. That, and that sometimes the simple solutions are the best ones. But Omi, yeah he goes bonkers whenever we leave the temple."

"Can you blame him, he probably knows this temple like the back of his hand. Before he met us, he's never left. I just wanna… protect that smile of his, know what I mean?"

Clay nodded. "I do, though not in the same way you do I reckon. Omi's like a second lil brother to me."

Kimiko blushed at his less than subtle implication. "And Raimundo?"

Clay tipped his hat. "The same, but he needs to grow up an' learn that _actin'_ cool and _bein' _cool are two different things but he's young, he'll figure it out I'm sure."

Kimko sighed, "I hope that's soon, his teasing is getting annoying. Omi was being sexist but I could excuse that seeing as he grew up surrounded by men and I'm literally the only girl he knows. Raimundo should know better. Thanks for setting Omi straight by the way."

"No problem, it was kinda sad seeing the only reference material he had being a book from seventeen hundred somethin' so I took him aside and gave him a talk."

Kimiko's eyes glinted playfully as she asked, "Not _the talk_ right?"

Clay's blue eye that wasn't hidden by his cowlick bulged. "No, heavens no!... Wait, oh haha, you got me good just then. No though, to be honest I don't think the lil guy would get the talk even if I tried to give it to em anyway, bless him."

"So innocent our Omi," Kimiko said with a sigh.

Clay grinned. "Yes, he is."

"Did you know Omi plays an instrument? The guzhang according to Master Fung," Kimiko said.

"Goo what now?" Clay asked befuddled.

Kimiko smiled now he knew how she felt when he spoke in riddles. "Guzhang, it's a type of chinese string instrument, think of it like a precursor to the guitar." Kimiko explained.

"Well, I'll be, lil Omi's a musician?" Clay went back over to his shelf and pulled out a silver harmonica. "That makes two of us."

Kimiko laughed and rolled her eyes. "That is just so… _cowboy_ Clay. No offense meant."

"Heh, none taken, you play anything Kimiko?" Clay asked.

Kimiko rubbed her shoulder sheepishly. "I played the Hichiriki which is a Japanese flute but it sounds more like an oboe. Or I did, it's been awhile… My mom used to play it and she taught me for about a year before she….." Kimiko trailed off.

Clay smiled and put a hand on Kimiko's shoulder supportingly. "I understand."

"Well shoot, we got us the makings of a band," Clay joked, "I wonder if Raimundo plays drums? He seems the type."

Kimiko scoffed crossing her arms. "Big, loud, and shiny? Yep that sounds like Rai. Good thing drummers go in the back, where they can be heard but not seen."

Clay and Kimiko laughed at her joke.

A sudden knocking came at Clay's door. "Yeah? Clay called.

"Clay, is Kimiko in there with you? I knocked on her door but received no response." Omi's voice called.

"I'm here Omi what's up?" Kimiko called out, wondering why he was looking for her.

"What is up is the sky. If you mean what is the situation, then another Shen Gong Wu has activated my friends! We must hurry!" Omi's voice said.

"We'll be right there Omi!" Kimiko called stifling her chuckling.

"Very good I shall await you both in the scroll room."

Kimiko and Clay shared a look. "So innocent!" They said at the same time before getting up.

* * *

The group huddled around the shen gong wu scroll Raimundo looking sourfaced. "So what is it this time, a lantern who's light changes your size or something?" he quipped.

"Close but no cigar kiddo. What we got here are the Golden Tiger Claws," Dojo said, "They let you teleport anywhere you want."

"Seriously? Anywhere?" Raimundo asked interest piqued.

"Yep, let's go there… that way!" Dojo pointed due west.

* * *

The Xiaolin Warriors found themselves alighting off Dojo near the Imperial Palace of China. Gold gilded lion dogs flanked the entrance, and a slanted tiered tiled roof like the peak of a mountain at sunrise. The imperial palace sat atop a hill that one needed to climb several sets of stairs just to access, the stairs were flanked by numerous gardens, of all types of flowers.

Kimiko was concerned about Omi. He was zipping around 'like a squirrel on sugar' as Clay would say taking in the sights around the garden area outside the palace. "Aren't you excited to be here Omi?"

"Excited to be here? Why _here_ in particular Kimiko?" Omi asked, perplexed by her question as he stood on a large lion dog.

Kimiko walked over and bent down till she was eye level with Omi. "Well, and Dojo can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think China might be your homeland," Kimiko said.

"Yep, kid's Chinese," Dojo commented from his place on top of Clay's hat.

"Ohh… I admit to never giving much thought to such a thing," Omi replied as he took his time taking in all the sites of the chinese architecture and the nearby lake and garden. "Do you think, after we attain the Golden Tiger Claws, we could… go see the sights?" Omi asked his friends shyly out of character.

"Sure we can," Kimiko told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Sounds like a plan to me lil buddy. I've always wanted to try genuine chinese food," Clay said, patting his stomach.

Raimundo shrugged. "I'm fine with it I guess."

Kimiko all but stomped over to the wind dragon and hissed in his ear. "Can you at least try to act supportive? I get it, you're ticked because Omi told you off for being a brat, but get over it. He's hardly ever been outside the temple before we came along. Like how he's _our guide_ to all this Xiaolin stuff, We're supposed to be _his guides_ to the bigger world. So start acting like it!"

The brazillian held his hands up defensively. "Fine, fine sorry!"

"Is everything okay over there my friends? Omi called. "We should probably begin our search for the Golden Tiger Claws. Perhaps we can attain them before Jack Spicer appears, and smoosh it in his face."

"That's rub it in his face Omi," Raimundo spoke up.

"That too," The dimutative monk called out as he began looking around for an entrance into the palace. "My friends, I do not believe the Golden Tiger claws are in this location. We may need to head further inside the palace. Do any of you know how we could possibly get in?"

Kimiko reached into her backpack and pulled out her cellphone. "I got this guys, hang on," When the person on the other side of the line picked up Kimiko spoke, "Hey daddy, my friends and I need to get into China's Imperial Palace, can you help us out? You will, thanks!…" Her mood quickly soured over whatever the man said next. "I have to _what_? Really dad… okay _fine_. I'll send you a picture. Love you too, bye."

Kimiko sighed in annoyance as she hung up her phone and placed it back in her backpack. Omi approached hesitantly. "Kimiko, is everything A with the okay?"

Sighing again, Kimiko replied, "Everything is fine Omi, we just gotta do something for my dad before we can go in."

"Really, what is it?" Omi asked.

* * *

The group were forced to head to a shop sent to Kimiko's phone via text and then pick up a package, they were then forced to wait as she opened it in a room.

"What do you think this could be about?" Omi asked. "Some sort of secret quest from her father? Does she have to fight bandits? Defeat grave robbers? Vanquish an evil spirit perhaps?"

"Dude, she's a spoiled rich kid, he's probably making her wear a dress or something," Raimundo said uncaringly.

"Wear a dress?" Omi questioned. "...Why though? Kimiko always looks amazing no matter what she wears."

"Thank you Omi," Kimiko said as she came out of the changing room. She was wearing a yellow kimono trimmed in pink. She had a bright yellow obi wrapped around her waist and tied in a bow behind her back to keep her dress shut. Her hair was tied in a bun and she had a pair of needles running through it, along with the Tangle Web Comb. In her left hand was a pink and yellow folding fan.

"Kimiko… you look… even more amazing than usual! Like a princess!" Omi praised.

Kimiko covered her face with her fan so Omi couldn't see her blush. "Thank you Omi," She then fixed her gaze sharply on Raimundo, and stomped on his foot sharply with her geta wooden sandaled heel. "Spoiled rich kid huh?!"

"Well I say you look like the bell of the ball little lady," Clay said, tipping his hat. He was wearing a tan and blue trimmed kimono along with a blue and black trimmed haori coat.

Raimundo was wearing all red attire, and Omi… still looked the same. Not that Kimiko minded. Omi was the only one who didn't look out of place among the four of them.

"Your looking good Kimmie," Dojo said, shooting her a wink.

"Thanks Clay, Dojo. Ready to go to the Emperor's palace?" Kimiko asked pointedly ignoring Raimundo as he held his sore foot.

"Yes, let us get while the going is good!" Omi said.

"That's let get going while the getting's good cueball," Raimundo grumbled.

"Don't _mess_ with the _monk_!" Kimiko snapped at Raimundo, already far from happy with him on top of being in this kimono. '_Well, at least Omi and Clay think I look nice,' _She thought as she rode side saddle on Dojo back to the palace.

* * *

The four were promptly let inside once they approached. They began to search around looking everywhere they could for the Golden Tiger Claws. Omi even stuck his head into the mouth of a lion-dog statue. "Not in here, and these are lion claws."

"Similar, but no dice," Raimundo said with a shake of his head.

"Oh, are we looking for dice too?" Omi asked.

Dojo sniffed the ground, while Clay blew some dust off an old suit of armor. "Nothing here but dust bunnies guys.

"It's here I know it is. It's just it's more… down than here," Dojo told the group while pointing at the floor and what may lay beneath it.

"Oh kimiko what is that you're standing on?" Omi pointed.

Kimiko looked down and sure enough, she noticed she was standing on a trap door. "Nice catch Omi."

"I did not catch anything?" the little monk said, confused.

"She means nice job findin' the stairs partner," Clay explained.

Omi's eyes lit up in understanding before he gulped as he looked down into the dark. "Oh dear."

"What, you scared?" Raimundo asked.

"Yes," Omi admitted weakly.

Kimiko had half a mind to kick Raimundo down the steps just then but held off. Instead, she made her way forward reaching deep for her inner fire and calling it to her hand, she took Omi's hand with her free hand. "There, now we can see right?"

Omi took Clay's hand "Yes and we are forming a… I believe Raimundo called it a daisy chain."

"_Raimundo…_" Kimiko said in a sickly sweet tone, as she flashed him a smile that showed too many teeth, "You and I are going to have a _long talk _about the words you are teaching Omi after this is all over."

"Is it too late to run?" Raimundo asked Clay as the cowboy took his hand and led him into the dark.

"I reckon she'd be even angrier for havin' to hunt you down if you did partner."

* * *

The Xiaolin Warriors followed their path deep into the bowels of the earth. The deeper they walked the louder this ominous moaning became. "What is _causing_ that?!" Kimiko asked getting freaked out by the constant moans.

"I do not know, but I don't like it either… it is ominous," Omi replied, squeezing Kimiko's hand tighter as he did so. He looked over the cliff and saw the shadow of someone approaching before he saw them, tugging lightly upon Kimiko's arm to make her stop before nodding in the direction of the approaching presence.

The figure in question was a monkeyfied Jack Spicer, his feet having been turned into furred appendages, his teeth now longer and animalistic, and possessing a monkey's tail. He was also the source of the wretched moaning they'd been hearing.

"Stop your sniveling! Wuya demanded. "You should be focusing on finding the Tiger Claws!"

"Sorry, but I ate too many bananas. Now my tummy hurts," Jack complained while rubbing his tummy in a fashion seen on many a buddai statue.

"Jack!" Kimiko called in rage, she still hadn't forgiven him for how he insulted her during their last Xiaolin Showdown.

"Jackbots! Destroy them… but first, get me some ginger ale!" Jack demanded.

"Rodger Rodger!" One jackbot said before its head spun around revealing a compartment with a glass and a drink dispenser. The glass was automatically filled with a foamy liquid that the monks guessed was ginger ale. Monkey Jack grabbed the glass as soon as it was full.

Jack drank it like a shot, getting a refill before saying, "Okay, _now_ go destroy them."

With laser cannons bursting from their chests, the Jackbots zoomed towards the Xiaolin Warriors with the lead one saying "Blast em!"

"What's wrong with that one?" Wuya asked.

Jack shrugged. "I dunno might have a defective memory chip."

The dots on Omi's head glowed as he tapped into his element. "Water!" He called out drawing moisture from the mist around him and using it like a whip to slap away the nearest Jackbot from himself and Kimiko.

"Earth!" Clay tapped into his own element and tore a stone from the wall before chucking it into a Jackbot. This caused the bot to go critical and self destruct taking two of its companions with it.

"Wind!" Raimundo cried out calling on the air currents as he jumped and did a split kick knocking two Jackbots back. One smashed into the cliff face, the other spiralled down into the depths below.

"Kimiko stay back, we'll get the Wu!" Omi said. Only to realize she wasn't there. "Kimiko?"

"Fire!" Kimiko used her inner flame and launched it from both her hands to glide over to the plinth on which the Golden Tiger Claws sat. Both she and the Monkey Jack put a hand on either side of the Claws at the same time. The two glared at each other.

"Kimiko, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!" Jack said in a screechy voice. "My Monkey Staff for your Tangle Web Comb.

"Fine by me Jack, what's your game?!" Kimiko asked.

Jack looked around. "A race first one to the end there," Jack said pointing off in the distance. "First one there wins."

"I accept," Kimiko said without thinking her temper flaring from past transgressions.

The world was terraformed around the two. Thin stone pathways zigzagged over a crimson abyss all paths leading towards the Golden Tiger Claws at the end.

"Gong Yi Tampai!" The two cried before they were off.

'_I 'did not' think this through.' _Kimiko thought to herself as she was hardly able to move in her yukata with her wooden geta sandals on her feet. She kicked the sandals off and let them fall into the abyss. Yet even with that, she was still constrained by her dress and couldn't move freely.

Jack meanwhile moved with all the freedom and agility of a monkey thanks to the Monkey Staff. He spun on stalagmites flipped and rolled along the floor and even stopped to laugh and mock her.

"Oh c'mon Kimi! This is too easy! You've gotta put up some kind of challenge for me, Jack Spicer!"

Then, the ground shook throwing both contestants on their butts.

"Stop playing around and get the Wu, you monkey-brained fool!" Wuya screeched.

"Fine, fine, I'm going!" Jack said, not really wanting to endure another earthquake or Wuya's harping.

'_No, I've got to slow him down, somehow.'_ Kimiko thought to herself. She pulled out the Tangle Web Comb and aimed it at Jack. "Tangle Web Comb!"

The tendrils shot out between the teeth of the wooden comb, coming within two feet of tying up Jack, only to circle back and tie up Kimiko herself from head to foot. Even her cries of annoyance were muted as the Tangle Web Comb wrapped around her mouth this time, and no matter how hard Kimiko struggled she couldn't break free as she started to roll and come dangerously close to the edge.

"Oh no!" Omi said, "If she keeps struggling in that state she'll fall off the edge." '_I must do something I cannot lose a friend! Especially not a dear one like Kimiko. Yet, what can I do… wait…' _

"Lightbulb!" Omi said. Before crying out to Jack. "Jack, I challenge you to a Shen Yi Bu Dare!"

Jack who was just about to take the Tiger Claws stopped. "A what now?"

"A Shen Yi Bu Dare is when two Shen Gong Wu are wagered in a single Showdown," Wuya rubbed her ethereal hands together. "Interesting, take the boy up on his offer Jack."

"What're you wagering?" Jack asked, arms crossed.

Omi reached into his clothes and pulled out the Mantis Flip Coin. "My Mantis Flipcoin and your Fist of Tebigong verses Kimiko's Tangle Web Comb and your Monkey Staff."

Jack didn't see the point in saying no. "Okay, what's the game?"

"A… different kind of race. First to swim to the Golden Tiger Claws wins," Omi declared.

"You're on Cue Ball," Jack said with a smile.

The scenery changed again, this time the area was flooded with sea green water with Kimiko safely teleported right next to the other monks untied.

Jack and Omi were on a small sandbar while the others were situated further away.

The two looked at each other before saying, "Gong Yi Tampai!"

Jack activated his Jetpack only to be consumed by a giant wave that Omi was riding on top of. "What the… you… you tricked me Cueball?!" Jack yelled now soaking wet, his guyliner running down his face.

"No, you fool!" Wuya said, a ghostly hand pressed up against her face in shame. "You were just stupid enough to accept a _swimming race_ against a Dragon of Water!"

"Oh… whoops," Jack said, "Don't worry I got this," He hit a button on his watch and his jetpack shifted form a little bit, with the propellers tilting behind him and skis popped out of his shoes. Moments later Jack was off, shooting forward with a miniature airboat on his back. "Here I come Omi!"

"A most ingenious invention Jack Spicer, but I'm afraid, too little too later!" Omi said as he did a flip off his wave and grabbed the Golden Tiger Claws, ending the showdown.

In a flash, the world was back to normal, and Omi was surrounded by four Shen Gong Wu.

"Omi that was amazing!" Kimiko said running up to the little monk and giving him a big hug. "You totally saved my butt too," She said in a slightly bitter self-deprecating tone.

"Do not feel down on yourself Kimiko, I did not intervene because I did not think you could do it, I did so because I was afraid you could've gotten seriously hurt. That is something that… makes me uneasy," Omi admitted. "The idea of losing one of my if not my most precious friend."

"Omi," Kimiko said feeling touched by his words. Words that earned him an extra strong hug.

While he always enjoyed Kimiko's girl hugs Omi couldn't help but notice something being this close to her. "Kimiko, where is your pendant?"

"What?" Kimiko checked around her neck, her mother's pendant was gone! '_It must've fallen off during the showdown!'_ she thought as she looked around frantically for it.

"Huh, what's this thing?" Jack said as he picked up the heart shaped ruby.

"That is Kimiko's family heirloom return it immediately!" Omi demanded pointing at the boy genius.

Jack twirled the pendant by its chain on his finger. "Is it now? What'll you do if I don't shortstack?"

Omi took a deep breath. He looked at Kimiko who looked somewhere between heartbroken and furious to see the momento in Jack's hands. He came to a decision. "If you return the pendant, I shall give you the Mantis Flip Coin."

Jack actually stopped spinning the pendant on his finger when he heard that. Then he cleaned out his ears. "I… I'm sorry did I hear you right? Did you say you were going to give me a Shen Gong Wu for this thing?"

Omi nodded. "That is correct."

"This?" Jack held up the pendant and looked at it closely. "This thing that isn't a Shen Gong Wu?"

"It is precious to Kimiko, and that is all the reason I need," Omi replied.

Kimiko bent down put her hands on Omi's shoulders. "Omi this is super sweet and all, but you don't need to do this, it's not worth a Wu we just got back!"

"Is it important to you?" Omi asked locking eyes with Kimiko.

"Huh?" she asked.

"The pendant is it important to you?" Omi inquired.

Hesitantly, Kimiko nodded. "It's the only momento I have of my mom. She's… been gone for a while now."

"Then all the more reason to get it back," Omi said with a confident smile. "What say you Spicer?!"

"The Monkey Staff!" Jack called over.

"You want the Coin _and_ the Staff?!" Kimiko called with angry tears gathering in her eyes. "How greedy are you?!"

Jack shook his head in disagreement, "No, just the Monkey Staff. You can keep the coin."

Omi nodded sagely "Very well, the Staff for the pendant yes?"

Seeing Jack nod Omi picked up the Monkey Staff. "On the count of three then?"

"One… two… three!"

The two tossed their respective items at the same time. Omi caught the Pendant and Jack the Monkey Staff. With it again in hand he turned to his still functioning Jackbots and said, "Jackbots, activate salvage mode!"

The machines proceeded to pick up the broken remains of their fallen brethren. He then turned to Kimko and said, in a tone that had no teasing or mocking in it. "Hey Kimiko?"

"Yeah Jack what is it?" The Fire Dragon called out wondering what he was going to say.

"You should keep a tighter hold on the things precious to you…" He turned to walk away only to look back and smirk, "Like cueball, he's a keeper."

Kimiko flushed. "S-Shut up Spicer!"

Jack laughed like a monkey as a tail sprouting from his back, the Monkey Staff already taking effect. "Till next time, _heroes_," He then flew off with a contemplative look on his face from the current events. Thinking of his own parents.

* * *

Back on the surface, the Xiaolin Warriors were carrying their newly won Shen Gong Wu and Omi had the Golden Tiger Claws taking up one hand.

"That was super crazy of you doing that for a pendant of all things Omi," Raimundo said, shaking his head. He just couldn't wrap his head around why he did it. Magical item versus a pendant? Made no sense in his mind.

"Raimundo, in my short time with all of you, I've learned that some things are more important than Shen Gong Wu," Omi said sagely.

"Oh yeah, like what?" Raimundo asked.

"Friendship, Family, and the _smile of a dear friend for one_," Omi replied saying that last part under his breath.

Yet Kimiko caught it anyway, and she smiled warmly before she dropped the Fist of Tebigong on the ground, and hugged Omi to her. "Thank you, _so much_ for what you did down there Omi! I'll… I'll never forget it."

'_Three girl hugs in one day? Is this a record, or has something broken within Kimiko?'_ Omi wondered. "Not to worry Kimiko. Family is very important… _I know that better than anyone_." Omi said quietly.

Yet not quiet enough for her not to hear, not when she was so close. Her heart practically broke at hearing the usually boisterous monks voice so sad, small, and broken. '_He needs cheering up,' _Kimiko decided. "Hey Omi, whaddya say we use the Tiger Claws to drop these Wu off at the temple then we spend the rest of the day checking out China? We _did promise _after all."

"Oh yes, I would enjoy that very much!" He then frowned, "Do you think Master Fung will let us keep the Tiger Claws though?"

Kimiko grinned at him, "Omi one thing you gotta learn is sometimes when the adults aren't looking that means you can have a little fun."

Omi nodded. "I see…"

"In other words, just don't get caught," Raimundo added.

"And don't let it get too crazy while havin' fun," Clay added. "That's how the trouble starts."

Omi soaked all this in like a sponge. "Oh, I see… what do you think, Dojo?"

The dragon was quick to reply, "I think you should have a little fun kiddo. You've been cooped up in that temple for fourteen years. Live a little! See the sights, eat something that isn't rice, tea, and water, have some fun! Heck, get in trouble! Not too much trouble," Dojo quickly amended, "But a little trouble never hurt anyone, right?"

"True, and we are Xiaolin warriors!" Omi boasted. "We can handle any trouble that comes our way!"

* * *

"How did we get into this mess again?!" Omi shouted as he kicked another Triad member in the face, backflipping off him and doing a spin kick to take out another two.

"I do believe it started when you and Kimiko decided to help that pulled cart driver's poor mother," Clay said as he smacked two gang members' heads together knocking them right out.

"Hey, don't blame this on us!" Kimiko said as she did a split kick knocking out two more goons herself. "We didn't know he owed the Triad money on their noodle stand."

"Oh yeah, then who's fault is it huh?" Raimundo asked as he knocked out a triad with a left hook to the chin. "Whose fault is this?!"

"Clearly it is Ping's for not giving us proper information," Omi replied as he swept the feet out from the last triad member and kicked him in the face, sending him blissfully unconscious. Omi felt like his time in China was ruined. He only wanted to help someone in need, like a Xiaolin warrior should, and that in turn led to them all fighting no less than fifty Triad members, most of whom were armed with knives no less. He let out a sigh of dejection, "Shall we just go home everyone?"

Kimiko frowned, '_Omi's trip is ruined! He just wanted to see the sights and eat some food, I swear, if I ever get my hands on that Ping!' _

"My, my what a mess," An elderly woman wearing her black and grey streaked hair up in a tight bun, wearing a yellow cheongsam with green floral vine work throughout its length. In her left hand she had a cigarette holder upon which a fresh one burned. She took a puff before letting it out. She walked over to one of the groaning men, and gave him a light kick, "Chow, get up you buffoon! Getting ass beat by children?! You sink to new low!"

Chow a thug wearing a leather jacket and yellow shades that covered his eyes awoke with a groan. "Sorry Madam Wu, but they aren't normal kids."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Obviously they kick your ass up and down street! Get others up and go home! I take care of this."

The woman made her way towards the Xiaolin Dragon Warriors kicking aside any poor unfortunate mook who stood in her path. She stopped three meters from the young fighters when they took up defensive stances. The elderly woman looked them over before her gaze settled on Omi, or more specifically the nine glowing dots on his head. She blinked, before speaking in a kindly grandmotherly tone, "What is your name little one?"

The little monk replied a little confused at her automatic change of voice, "Omi, Xiaolin Dragon Warrior of Water, and yours?"

The woman bowed respectfully towards Omi, "Madam Biyu Wu, or if you prefer the English standard Wu Biyu leader of the Shang Chi Triad."

"Oh crap we beat up her minions!" Raimundo said with hints of exasperation coloring his tone.

Madam Wu looked at Raimundo and raised a thin eyebrow. "An odd but apt description, young man. Still, you are not to blame for this mess but my disowned son Ping no doubt."

"Ping, the jinrickshaw driver ma'am?" Clay asked.

Madam Wu nodded tiredly. "Yes this is the third time this month he's tried to overthrow me and assume my position. It's getting quite tiresome."

"Why'd you disown him, if I may ask?" Kimiko asked.

Madam Wu sighed, "He enjoyed the lifestyle but didn't like to do the work involved to maintain it. I have no use for dead weight in my organization, even if he _is _one of my sons. I had hoped by cutting him off and tossing him into real world, he would get work ethic. The only thing he seemed to have attained is inept plans of revenge."

"See, this is what we call in Texas as someone being as slippery as a polecat Kimiko," Clay explained.

"Agreed," Kimko replied.

Madame Wu clapped her hands, "In any case, I must insist you come with me now, we have… much to discuss."

"Guys, I don't think this is a good idea," Raimundo whispered, "I've seen the Godfather enough times to know this never ends well," Riamundo suddenly had the red cherry of Wu's cigarette millimeters from his eye.

Wu who was now mere inches from him, and whispered. "If I wanted you dead boy, we would not have been speaking at all," She then walked off not bothering to turn around as she called, "Now come!"

Omi didn't know why, but he felt he could trust her, so he was the first to follow in her wake. Kimiko wasn't going to let him go anywhere alone and Clay felt the need to keep an eye on them both. Raimundo brought up the rear muttering, "I don't think this'll end well guys."

* * *

The dragon warriors were led into a two story chinese restaurant. People bowed respectfully to Madam Wu as she passed and more than a few of the older ones also bowed even lower to Omi for reasons he didn't understand. She walked right into the back kitchen where the chefs were cooking, all the shouting in chinese stopped when she appeared and they all bowed respectfully. Turning to the head chef, Madam Wu barked out some orders in chinese and everyone hurriedly got to work as she led the group upstairs. Opening the door she ushered them into a lavish apartment.

Rich tapestries clung to the walls depticing quinlung, chinese dragons, the countertops were made of solid jade and sat on top of bubinga wood cabinets. A long table and chairs made of solid ebony sat nearby, and a lavish sitting room was furnished with two gold lion dogs near a marble fireplace above which sat a painting of a man that immediately drew Omi's attention.

The man in the painting was tall and wearing a black martial arts gi, pants and shoes his head was bald except for the long black ponytail he had trailing down from his head. On his head were eight dots.

"Who is that man?" Omi asked, drawn to that picture as if in a trance.

Madame Wu smiled fondly as she made her way into the living room. "That is my late husband Jiang Bohai."

"Why… does he look so much like me?" Omi asked feeling a sense of odd kinship and familiarity to the unknown man.

Sitting in a rocking chair made of sandalwood, Madame Wu motioned for the Dragon Warriors to sit on the leather couch across from her. Once they were situated, she spoke directly to Omi, "Tell me young Omi, what do you know of reincarnation?"

Omi was quick to recite. "It's a part of the wheel of samsara. On the path to enlightenment people will reincarnate in different bodies and forms until they finally manage to die while living and achieve the state known as nirvana."

"Correct," Madame Wu nodded. "You, young monk are the reincarnation of my husband Bohai."

Silence for a moment and then… "WHAT?!"

Kimiko pulled Omi closer to her possessively instinctually. "What makes you say that granny?"

"The marks on his brow are dead give away," Madame Wu said amused by Kimko's possessiveness of the small boy and being around long enough to know what it meant. "My husband told me they were defining mark."

"A defining mark of _what_?" Kimiko asked, holding Omi close, with small plumes of smoke and flame coming from her mouth.

"The incarnations of a man known as Dashi," Madame Wu said before she took a puff on his cigarette. "He never really did tell me what that meant."

Silence fell again… and then… "WHAT?!"

"My, young people are so loud these days," Madame Wu complained. "Am I to assume this Dashi person is big deal?"

"He is the biggest of deals!" Omi said. "He created many Shen Gong Wu and vanquished an evil witch fifteen hundred years ago!"

"Shen Gong Wu?" the elderly woman asked.

Omi reached into his robes and pulled out the Mantis Flip Coin. "Mystical items of great power. The Mantis Flip Coin for example gives one the jumping ability and grace of a… mantis," Omi demonstrated by flipping around the living room.

Madame Wu blinked in surprise. "Oh I see. Well then, Jiang's final instructions do make more sense now."

"Final instructions?" Clay asked.

Madam Wu nodded. "Yes he asked me on his deathbed to do all in my power to assist the next him. That he would need all the help I could grant him. I intend to fulfill that promise."

Everyone was quiet for a moment. Then Omi asked, in a quiet tone. "H-How did he die?"

"He took on the former ruling gang of this area, the Dai Li, by himself. My Jiang was many things but patient, was not one of them. He was like water in the way that his temper had a low boiling point. Combine that with a strong sense of justice and well… he did manage to defeat the Dai Li… but it cost him his life."

"Omi's like water in that he's always moving headlong in one direction or wherever his feet carry him," Clay joked.

The elderly woman laughed at the joke. "Ah yes it is the same with every Water Dragon, or so Jiang told me, they embody their element in some way. Some are calm and tranquil like a pond, others are brash and turbulent like an ocean whipped into a frenzy because of a storm, and others go with the flow, like water carried by a river's current, Eager to see every little thing this world has to offer."

Kimiko hugged Omi to her. "The first and the last one describes our Omi perfectly. He can be calm but put him anywhere outside the temple, and he's a little kid running all over the place."

Clay smiled. "I dunno Kimiko in a fight he can fight like a storm."

"True," Kimiko noted, "I guess he fits into all three."

Madame Wu chuckled. "As to be expected of the ninth incarnation I suppose," Seeing the odd looks she was getting, she explained, "In China the number nine is considered magical and is connected to dragons."

"Same in Japan," Kimiko noted. "It's considered super lucky because nine also means relief."

Raimundo who was sitting with his arms crossed scowling at all these revelations said, "Yeah, he's _super lucky_ being an orphan and all."

No one said anything, they were stunned into silence. Then Omi started sniffling, clearly hurt by Raimundo's words.

"Partner that was a low blow," Clay said while putting a hand on Omi's shoulder in a show of comfort.

"That's _it_!" Kimiko threw herself at Raimundo and started pummeling him. "I don't know what I have to do to get it through your thick skull," She yelled as she walloped the Brazillain in the head, "But let me make myself clear! Don't. Mess. With. The. Monk!"

Every word was accentuated with a punch to Raimundo's face.

"Uh Kimiko? Not that I wanna stop you from a righteous butt whoopin' an all, but we got are'selves a situation here."

"What is it?!" Kimiko yelled hold Raimundo up by the scruff of his Gi.

"Omi left," Clay said, pointing towards the open front door.

"Grr, damn it!" She pulled Raimundo an inch from her own face. "You'd better start praying Rai! Cause if we don't find Omi safe and sound…" She let her threat hang as she dropped the Dragon of the Wind to the floor and rushed out with Clay hot on her heels.

* * *

Omi ran almost unable to see due to the tears in his eyes. Raimundo's words _hurt_. They cut him _deep_. '_Why would Raimundo say such a thing? I… I do not understand,' _Omi thought as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him out of the restaurant. He bumped into chefs as he made his way through the kitchen but he was so upset he couldn't even think of apologizing.

Once he was finally outside the only thing he could think of doing was getting as far away as possible. Thankfully he had just the means to do that. Pulling the Golden Tiger Claws out from his tunic, Omi activated them and jumped into the grey white portal they created. He could've sworn he heard Kimiko calling his name as he leaped into the portal but it was far too late for that as he was already away.

He soon found himself in the temple courtyard. Omi sighed sadly before he made his way back towards his quarters. He only stopped when he heard Master Fung call his name.

"Omi, my young monk, is something the matter? Where are the others?" Master Fung inquired Dojo wrapped around his shoulders.

"Oh… I decided to come back on my own. I forgot that Dojo wasn't with them."

Dojo slithered down from his perch on Master Fung's shoulders and approached the boy. "Hey buddy, what's wrong? Hmm?"

Omi took a breath. He then explained how after obtaining the Tiger Claws they were dragged into conflict with the local Triad only to become friends with their leader who revealed Omi was the ninth reincarnation of Grand Master Dashi himself.

Both master Fung and Dojo shared a look. Omi saw it. "Did you know?" He asked.

"We… assumed you might be yeah. Dashi in his day, was the very _first_ Dragon of Water. It wasn't until the others showed up chosen for the different elements that we knew for sure," Dojo explained

Omi nodded. "I see… it seems I need to fill large shoes."

"Have large shoes to fill, but don't worry about it little buddy you'll grow into it… but what had you so sad in the first place?" Dojo asked putting his clawed arm on Omi's shoulder as a show of comfort.

Omi sniffled. "Raimundo said something… harsh but true."

"Which is?"

Omi looked down at his shoes. "He called me an orphan."

"He did **What**?!" Dojo asked assuming his gargantuan size in his anger. "**I'll roast him alive and consume the remains!"**

"Dojo!" Master Fung said, raising his voice. "Calm yourself."

The dragon turned to Fung and snapped, "**Oh, I'm sorry, did you** _**not **_**just hear what Omi said?"**

"I did and Raimundo shall be reprimanded properly," Master Fung replied, "We have enough enemies on the Heylin side, we need not make any within our own camp."

Dojo breathed out a plume of soot before assuming his smaller form. "I hate it when you're right sometimes, you know that?"

"I know," Master Fung held out his hand. "The Tiger Claws if you would Omi? I need to go collect the others."

Omi handed them over. "Of course Master, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my room… I am not feeling well."

The two watched Omi trudge off his shoulders slumped. "You sure I can't torch him?" Dojo asked.

"No Dojo. _Golden Tiger Claws_," Fung replied before activating the Golden Tiger Claws and jumping through the portal.

* * *

"Omi!" Kimiko called out futilely as he jumped into the portal created by the Golden Tiger Claws. Kimiko fell to the ground her, her legs on either side of her, her knees giving out from under her, and tears falling from her eyes. "Well, that's it. He's gone. We've got no way to track him and he could be anywhere on Earth in the blink of an eye."

Clay put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hey there, don't give up quite yet Kimiko. Omi can only really go to a handful of places outside the temple, and there all places we've been to get Shen Gong Wu."

Kimiko sniffled a bit before she wiped at her eyes. "Yeah that's true, so even if he didn't didn't go back to the temple, which is likely we at least know where to look for him." Picking herself up off the ground, Kimiko cracked her knuckles as she ground her teeth together. "I dunno about you, but I'm ready for round two with my new favorite punching bag!"

"Be sure to tag me in this time ya hear?" Clay told her.

"Do not be so quick to anger, young monks," Master Fung said as he came out of a tear in space created by the Golden Tiger Claws.

Both Kimiko and Clay smiled in relief. "Master Fung!" They said at the same time, for if he was here with the tiger claws that meant Omi was safe back at the temple.

"Is Omi okay?" Kimiko asked only to realize it was a stupid question. '_Of course he's not ok Kimiko.'_

"He's coping… where is Raimundo?" Fung asked, his voice stern.

"Upstairs, with Madam Wu Master Fung sir," Clay replied unable to recall a time when he saw the man upset in the entire month he'd been at the temple thus far.

"Hm," Master Fung said, crossing his arms and folding his hands into his robes as he walked into the restaurant. A couple of the patrons near the kitchens stood up as if seeking to impede Master Fung as he approached the kitchens only to sit back down as they felt the silent fury rolling off the man. He made his way into the kitchens and walked around everyone as they worked, not once breaking his stride as he headed for the stairs. Once he ascended them, he politely knocked on the doorframe for he refused to enter another's home uninvited.

"Door open, come in," A voice called.

Master Fung entered the lavish apartment and made his way into the living room. Seeing the painting with two incense sticks next to it, Master Fung bowed in respect to the fallen warrior. He then turned to the woman sitting in the chair. "Madame Wu, I presume?"

"Yeah, an' who might you be, hm?" The woman asked as she fixed another cig to her holder.

"I am Master Fung of the Xiaolin Temple," He said bowing politely. "You met my students, and became quite familiar with my ward Omi?"

Taking a puff off her cigarette, Madame Wu replied, "Yeah, yeah, he good boy," She then glared at Raimundo who was sitting on the opposite end of the couch to two balls of bloody cotton in his nostrils and several cuts on his face. "Then that one open up his mouth and start shit. Omi okay?"

"Omi is back at the temple… destressing, thank you for asking," Master Fung replied.

"Shame he left, had a lot more to tell him. Oh well, another time perhaps," Madame Wu said with a shrug. She then motioned to her kitchen table where several plastic bags sat. "Got you Chinese to go, enough to feed two dozen cause cowboy looks like he have appetite big enough to eat whole cow."

"Ah shucks," Clay blushed… "Okay maybe… but that was only one time."

"He no get any!" Madame Wu said pointing at Raimundo. "It punishment," She then smiled coyly and added, "Besides you already had knuckle sandwich. Should be plenty full from that."

"Oh c'mon! Raimundo complained. "Isn't it bad enough I got my butt kicked by a girl?!"

Clay had to hold Kimiko back as she shouted, "Wanna go for round two?!"

"Whatever," Raimundo huffed. "Just took me by surprise is all."

Master Fung just looked at Raimundo and raised an eyebrow as if to say, '_Really? You thought you were just getting off with Kimiko's beating?' _He turned to Madam Wu and bowed, "Thank you for your gracious hospitality.

"You welcome," Madame Wu said with a flippant wave of her hand. "As I say though, I have much more to tell Omi boy, I _will_ be visiting soon," the Triad leader promised, speaking in such a way as if daring Master Fung to contradict her.

Master Fung just smiled a little and bowed, "We shall endeavour to be as gracious as hosts as yourself when that time comes, Madam Wu."

"Hmm," Madam Wu said after a moment of staring at Master Fung. "You have good poker face. Make nice card buddy," She decided.

Master Fung let out a little laugh. "You are too kind madame, I am but a humble monk."

"Humble monk make good poker player. When I come I bring cards," Madame Wu promised she then motioned them away, "Now you be going before food get cold. Go on shoo shoo," She motioned for the to leave only to look at Kimiko and say, "Give Omi hug from me yes?"

Kimiko smiled and nodded, "Yes ma'am."

* * *

Once they arrived, Master Fung finally addressed Raimundo directly. "You disappoint me young dragon. Now head to your room, and know that you shall be doing your chores and Omi's for the next week."

"Yes Master Fung," Raimundo said walking off head bowed, he had his hands in his pockets so no one could see his clenched fists.

"Actually Master Fung, we had a little bet goin' on whether or not Kimiko could win her next showdown," Clay recalled.

"And let me guess Raimundo bet against me?" Kimiko said waspishly hands on her hips.

Clay rubbed the back of his head. "Well, not just him."

"Clay!" Kimiko said offended, "How could you?!"

"Sorry little lady, it was a spur of the moment thing," Clay replied, "Omi though, stuck to his guns. Believed in you all the way."

Kimiko scowled. "But I lost and Omi won."

"Now technically speaking your showdown was won, just not by you," Clay said, I'd count that as a win. So looks like you an' I'll be doing Omi's chores for the next month Raimundo."

"Month?!" The Dragon of the Wind complained.

Clay tipped his hat, "Yeah, don'cha recall? We doubled the bet twice partner. One weeks worth of chores doubled down twice equals a month unless my math is off," the Texan replied.

Master Fung nodded. "I see, thank you for being honest and bringing this to my attention Clay. For your honesty, willingness to do hard work, and honoring your word, you shall only have to do Omi's chores for two weeks," He then looked to Raimundo, "You on the other hand Raimundo insulted a fellow disciple, and attempted to renege on your word. Thus I think an extra two weeks of doing your and Omi's chores will give you time to think and reflect upon your actions."

"Are… are you fucking kidding me?!" Raimundo asked.

"Hmm, what was that? You want to make it two months, is that what you said?" Master Fung replied his serene mask never falling from his face, "Why how generous of you Raimundo, truly you are quite the hard worker."

Raimundo opened his mouth to say something only for Clay to cover it with his hand and say, "Partner, do yourself a favor, and _walk away_. Walk away before you're doin' Omi's chores till yer old and grey."

Practically quivering with rage, the brazillian boy did just that, moving almost robotically such was his fury.

"Now we should eat while this is still hot. Clay will you go and inform the other monks?" Master Fung asked.

"Of course Master Fung sir," Clay said walking off at a plodding pace.

He then turned to Kimiko, "Kimiko would you go and get Omi and inform him we have dinner?"

"Of course Master Fung," Kimiko bowed before walking off.

* * *

As she approached Omi's room, she picked up the sounds of a beautiful melody wafting in the air. '_Is that… Omi?' _She wondered, drawn by the playing like a sailor by a siren's song. She followed the music almost as if in a trance to its source.

Omi's room, the door had been left open a crack and it was from there that the beautiful music flowed. Kimiko stood outside his door and listened. She watched as Omi's finger's moved gracefully across the strings of his Guzheng, gently plucking, pushing and stroking the chords to create a beautiful melody. His right hand pushed down on one string while his left moved in swirling motions across the chords creating a beautiful dissonisiance near the end of the song before he plucked the final few notes.

Kimiko wasn't sure how long she stood there watching, listening to the music being played, but she finally snapped herself out of it once the final note faded into the air. It was only then, that she thought to knock on the solid wood of his sliding door frame.

"Yes, who is it?"

"I… it's Kimiko Omi, can I come in?" the girl asked nervously.

"..." For a moment nothing was said, and she thought he didn't hear her. She was about to repeat herself when she finally got an answer, "Come in Kimiko."

Opening the door fully she found Omi sitting cross legged on his floor, his Guzheng set across his lap. It was a thirty-six string type, dark wooded, and curved like a fully open book in his lap. Without asking Kimiko sat down across from the little monk silently. '_No wonder he uses that thing to destress, he plays beautifully,' _Kimiko thought."I heard you playing, it was… out of this world."

A ghost of a smile appeared on Omi's face for a moment. "Thank you."

"What was that song, or were you just free styling?" Kimiko wondered.

"It is called "_High Mountain Flowing Water_." It is one of my favorites," Omi replied easily.

Kimiko couldn't help but smile. "It was mesmerizing. I've never heard anything so beautiful before."

"I am glad you enjoyed my performance my friend. Did you… need something?" Omi asked awkwardly after a moment's pause.

Kimiko didn't answer right away, instead she looked around his room. It was almost bare. His futon was rolled up in the corner, his closet was shut, and only a wooden case in which his Guzheng was kept lay open off to the side. There was nothing here that showed this room had belonged to someone for fourteen years. No pictures, nicknacks, or souvenirs from travels. No trophies from adventures, battles won or difficult training passed. This room could just as easily be a hotel room belonging to another guest. Yet Omi wasn't a _guest_ at the Temple, like she, Raimundo and Clay still felt they were. Omi was a long term _resident._

'_Yet what does he have to show for it? Nada.' _Kimiko thought. '_Nothing. Well that's gonna change 'real' quick',_ Kimiko decided. '_No wonder Master Fung said we were his teachers as much as we were his. We need to try harder with him. To show him the outside world more,' _Kimiko thought. Clearing her throat, she said, "Master Fung wanted me to come get you for dinner."

"Forgive me but I am not feeling very hungry," Omi begged off. "Please go eat without me. Hurry while it's still warm."

"What if I told you Madam Wu sent us home with a ton of Chinese food and Raimundo got sent to bed without dinner?" Kimiko asked with a smirk on her face. "Would that change your mind?"Omi blinked as if in surprise, but shook his head no. So she sweetened the deal by whispering conspiratorially, "What if I told you Raimundo has to do your chores for the next _two months?_"

This time Omi's eyebrows went up to his nonexistent hairline. Yet still he shook his head. Kimiko crossed her arms. "So nothing I say is going to make you come to dinner huh?"

"I am afraid not… I am just… not in the mood to dine with everyone else tonight," Omi said with a sigh.

Kimiko got a stubborn scowl on her face for a moment before she nodded. "I see," She then got up and left, leaving his door wide open.

Omi almost called for her to close it but in the end, shrugged. '_It does not really matter,'_ He thought. Any food right now would taste like bile in his mouth. For Raimundo's words no matter how cruelly said, were true. He was an orphan, abandoned here at the Temples doorstep. Why? He did not know, yet he'd always harbored a secret seed of doubt in the back of his mind. That he was left at the Temple because he was unwanted. To his parents, worthless. After all, was it not said that parents were a child's first teachers? Then what kind of lesson could he take from such abandonment other than the lesson that those who are not wanted, who have no value, are cast aside in this world?

Thus Omi threw himself headlong into his training to become _someone_. To become someone of value who could not and would not be cast aside. Not again. He studied Shen Gong Wu relentlessly learning as much as he could about them. He honed his mind through study, his spirit through meditation, and body through practice of Yang-style taichiquan. He prepared as much as he could for the day when he Omi would finally prove his worth as the Xiaolin Dragon of Water. Yet, despite it all, Omi's fear remained that in the end, he would have no use no purpose, or worse still when his purpose was complete he would be cast aside... _again_.

Omi was brought out of his dark thoughts by the sounds of many pairs of feet approaching his door. Moments later, Kimiko, Clay, Master Fung, and Dojo appeared all carrying wooden plates laden with food and chopsticks. "What… What are you all doing here?" Omi asked in confusion.

"Well," Kimiko said putting a plate that had a little bit of everything from General Tso's chicken to frog legs on it in front of Omi, "If you won't come to dinner, then dinner will have to come to you."

"I…" Omi hesitated to say no, not after she'd gone through the trouble of doing all this. "Thank you Kimiko."

Before Omi could reach for his chopsticks Kimiko grabbed his hand with both of hers prompting him to look at her. "Omi, I just want you to know that you aren't alone anymore. You have m… us! You have Clay, Master Fung, Dojo, and I."

"Nice save Kimi," Dojo said only to get nudged by Clay.

"She is right young monk," Master Fung said, "There is an ancient saying, That the water of the covenant is thicker than the blood of the womb."

"In other words, family is what you make it little buddy," Clay translated.

Omi bowed to them all so as to hide the happy tears gathering in his brown eyes, "Thank you," When he rose, he looked to Kimiko, "And thank _you _most of all Kimiko. Thank you for caring."

The video game company heiress looked away so the little monk wouldn't see her blush. "Don't mention it Omi. L-Let's eat while it's still hot yeah… and when we're done… Do you think you could play me a song on your guzheng?" She asked.

Omi smiled and nodded. "Certainly,"

They all proceeded to eat. Clay got in a frog leg eating competition with Dojo, at Kimiko's urging Omi tried a little bit of everything, and Master Fung watched it all take place with a smile on his lips. '_These children are going to go far,' _He thought before he looked down the hall where Raimundo's room was located, it's interior black as an overcast moonless night. '_Some just need to try harder than others.'_

Once the food was devoured down to the last grain of rice, Omi placed his Guzheng in his lap again but only after washing his hands free of any sticky substances. It wouldn't do to get the strings all messy. He looked to Kimiko. "Do you have a request?"

Still clad in her elegant kimono and looking like a princess in his eyes, Kimiko shook her head, "Surprise me," she requested.

Omi nodded taking a breath before he started to pluck the strings.

_(__古箏__-__三生三世十里桃花《涼涼》 __\- Eternal Love Guzheng Cover by SoundsofChina Guzheng)_

What came out was another beautiful melody, Kimiko once again found herself enraptured by the sounds coming from the zither. She felt her usually hot temper cool and for just a short while until the song ended she felt… at peace. All her worries and all of her fears melted away and she let herself drown in the peaceful strumings of the piece.

Then, it was sadly, over, and Kimiko found herself back in reality again. "That was… beyond beautiful Omi, what was it called?" Kimiko asked softly.

"The literal translation is Three Miles and Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms," Omi said, "But it is more commonly called Eternal Love."

"E-Eternal Love?" Kimiko asked, a blush staining her cheeks. "D-Did you just pick that song at random or..?"

Everyone leaned in, waiting with baited breath for Omi's answer.

"This song… suits Kimiko," Omi said after a moment looking off into the distance.

"H-How so?" Kimiko asked.

"It is an uplifting melodus song with a sharp tempo to it, the song ebbs and swells too. Kimiko, just like the song is very uplifting to be around, and just like the song Kimiko has a sharp temper, this is not a bad thing, I in fact find it most pleasurable to be around someone so… unlike the rest of the monks. Who so easily shows their emotions. Also just as the song ebbs and swells being around Kimiko fill me with a strange emotion I… cannot identify." Omi admitted. "But it is warm, like Kimiko's flame, and it is here," He pointed at his own chest. "Am I getting ill?" He asked no one in particular.

All the other men in the room laughed at that. While Kimiko herself turned as red as her lipstick. "No lil buddy you are not sick… not in a bad way," Clay assured him.

"Yeah, you'll figure it out eventually," Dojo assured him.

"The illness? What is it? What's wrong with me?!" Omi was getting afraid.

Master Fung chuckled lightly, "It is nothing to be concerned about young monk. This is perfectly normal, it happens to everyone. It will work itself out, one way or another," He then rose taking his plate and saying, "I do believe we should leave Kimiko and Omi alone for a bit, don't you?"

"Oh right," Clay said getting up too and carrying everyone else's plates. "Have a nice _talk_ you two."

While the men laughed, Kimiko's mind was moving at a million miles a minute. '_What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?! Okay Kimiko think this through. Omi has grown up in a temple, he's been taught to meditate and well not exactly suppress his emotions but restrain them, and you are the first girl he's ever laid eyes on and the only one he's spent a decent amount of time with. So is it really all that surprising that he developed feelings for you without realizing what he's feeling? No, no it isn't. So what should you, as his friend do? Shoot him down gently?"_

"Hell no!" A voice in the back of her mind screamed at her."He's more than just a friend to you and you know it!"

'_Okay fine so I think he's cute, adorable, and honorable, but I can't just confess can I? He doesn't even know what he's feeling at the moment,' _Kimiko argued with herself.

"No don't tell him," The other voice her subconscious(?) Rebutted, "This is something he needs to figure out on his own. Patience is a virtue Kimiko."

'_True, right then,' _Kimiko thought before she looked to Omi who was just waiting patiently for her to speak. "Omi?"

"Yes Kimiko?"

Lightning quick, the little monk found himself wrapped in his fourth girl hug that day. Only this one was accompanied by a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, for everything you've done for me today. For putting up another Wu to keep me safe, sacrificing the Monkey Staff to get my pendant back, and then playing that song for me."

"I-It was no trouble!" Omi stuttered, "It was my pleasure."

"And Omi?" Kimiko all but whispered.

The monk adopted a similar tone wondering if she was about to share a secret. "Yes?"

"When you figure out what that feeling is, you let me know okay?" Kimiko said before kissing his other cheek leaving identical marks on either side of his face. She then got up and left the room Pausing outside the door long enough to say, "Goodnight Omi."

"Goodnight Kimiko. Sleep well," Omi called back, as if in a daze causing her to giggle before she shut his door.

* * *

In the country of Japan, in the city of Fuyuki, beneath mount Enzou, a force long sealed within a deep cavern, began to awaken.

"**Shit how long has it been… **_**sixty years?!**_" The entity known as All the World's Evil asked itself as it finally built up enough energy from the leylines on fuyuki to destroy the blasted seal that had been placed on it. "**Well fuck me sideways and call me Chauncy! I've been out cold for a bit. Let's see what's going on around here…" **Angra Mainyu tapped into the leylines around Fuyuki and using the power of the Greater Grail collected information that had gone on since the last Grail War. Most of it was boring and mundane but some of it got a chuckle from him. " **Hoho, what's this, that blockhead Emiya was actually dumb enough to make a deal with the World? You poor bastard…. Tohsaka had a kid who gave up on the family craft and married a videogame developer? Well huh. Hmm, and what are these strong magical signatures I'm detecting all over the globe not unlike Noble Phantasms… Shen… Gong… Wu? Zodiac Talismans… Mystical Monkey Power?" **The dark entity was silent for a moment, before it started cackling. "**Bwhah… BWHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my, this is fucking glorius! If I pick just the right people tweak things in just the right… wait… Is Tohsaka's granddaughter… She is! She fuck mothering **_**is**_ **on one side of this conflict already! Oh that just makes this so much easier! Then I just pick her friends, that geeky goth kid… Yes… YES I LOVE THIS IDEA! I don't just want any Grail War! I. Want. GRAIL WAR V… Wait, that means Five! Damn it! I fucked it up! I. WANT. GRAIL WAR VI! There we go, I got it right that time! Go me, I'm awesome! This is gonna be so. Much. Fun!"**

Deep within the caven a dark entity laughed an evil chortel for all the chaos it was about to unleash…

* * *

Omi awoke early the next morning at dawn as he always did and after quickly bathing made his way back to his room, rolled up his futon, put on his monks robes, and went to the sand garden where he hopped on top of a large rock and began to meditate. For three hours he would sit there in quiet contemplation, waiting until he heard one of the others, usually Kimiko, begin to stir. Then, he would alight from his perch and make his way towards the dining hall, where breakfast was likely being held. He would get his rice, and his tea and wait for the others to join him. Yet today he felt uneasy. Despite what was said last night, he didn't know if he wanted to eat with Raimundo. His words still hurt despite the balm applied by Kimiko and the others the other night, assuring him he was not alone. His thoughts then turned slowly, like a waterwheel, to the Fire Dragon Warrior herself. _Kimiko told me to tell her when I figured out what that feeling was… but how do I figure out what it is?' _Omi thought his hands resting on his knees as he sat in a lotus then, he noticed an odd red mark on the back of his right hand. At first, he thought it was a stain he'd missed from the food the other night, but the more he looked at it, the more distinct it became. It was three cresting waves each slightly smaller than the other flowing to the left on the back of his hand as if in red ink. Omi held his hand closer so as to inspect the strange inscription. '_Where did this marking come from? What could it mean?'_

Choosing to forego his morning meditation for once in order to seek answers, Omi hopped off his normal perch and went off to find his father in all but blood. He gently knocked upon the wood of his sliding panel door and waited for an answer. "Yes?"

"Master, might I come in?" Omi called, "I require your council."

"Of course Omi," Master Fung replied.

Omi opened the door to find Master Fung doing pushups. Even at his age, Master Fung kept his body in prime condition. He looked to Omi as he approached. "What seems to be on your mind young monk?"

In response, Omi showed his father figure the back of his hand. "I do not know how Master, but these strange sigils showed up on the back of my hand this morning."

Pushing himself to his feet from the floor, Master Fung took a knee as he studied the marks on the back of Omi's hand. "Hmm, how very curious," He then pulled up his sleeve and showed Omi his shoulder, for on it was a red spear broken into three parts, the shaft, the spearhead, and a crossguard just beneath the blade. "It seems we both bear similar markings."

Omi's mouth dropped but for just a moment, "Master, what does this mean? Is it some kind of trick or plan by Jack Spicer or Wuya?"

Fung shook his head. "No, I do not think so. Neither of these marks bear the telltale taint of Heylin magic. No, this is… something else," Master Fung said at last.

"What is it?" Omi asked.

Letting his sleeve fall and standing, the wizened master replied, "I've no idea at the moment, Omi, yet just because we know it is not the Heylin does not mean it is benevolent in nature. We'd best remain on guard till we know for sure what these marks are meant to do."

Omi bowed, he knew Master Fung would know what to do. He always did. "Yes Master, of course… Then a thought occurred to Omi. "Master, what about the others? What if they too have been marked?"

Master Fung stroked his beard. "Hmm, quite the thought Omi. Very well, I give you permission to go check the others for similar marks if they ask."

Omi nodded, worried some form of conspiracy might be in the works. As Kimiko once told him Once was a coincidence, twice was an oddity, but a third time was the actions of an enemy! "Yes Master, I shall return shortly!"

Omi dashed off and to his luck found Clay returning from the bathroom to his quarters. "Clay!"

"Oh hey Omi, what's the rush? You gettin' chased by a bull lil buddy?"

The little monk shook his head. "No, no bulls," He showed him his hand. "Strange markings have shown themselves on myself and Master Fung. He has tasked me with checking all of you for similar marks."

"What in tarnation?" Clay said as he looked at the crimson lines on the back of Omi's hand before he nodded. "Right back to my room then."

Omi looked around Clay's room noting how he had personalized it with photos and things from his homeland. Though small, a sigh escaped Omi. '_It must be nice, to know you have a place you belong. A family you can return home to… a land you can call your own.'_

"Partner, everything alright?" Clay asked, concerned for he saw a flicker of sadness in Omi's agate brown eyes.

"Yes, yes, everything is fine Clay," Omi said giving his head a shake. "Now if you would be so kind as to remove your shirt?"

"Sure thing lil bud." Clay took his shirt off, showing that ranch life had left him quite built. See anything?" Omi saw no marks on his friend at all, "No turn around please, perhaps it is on your back?"

Doing so Omi saw it. Completely overtaking Clay's upper back was a isosceles trapezoidal shape much like a volcano. The end curved inwards to form two right angles on either side and a line ran right through both, while smack dab in the middle was a counterclockwise running spiral.

'Hmm once again the mark comes in three parts, the spiral, the trapezoid, and the line. What does it mean?' Omi thought.

"See anything back there?" Clay asked.

"You have a mark on your upper back." Omi replied.

"Really what's it look like?" Clay turned his head to try and get a look, to no avail.

"A volcano with a spiral in the middle of it." Omi replied, before he decided to do one better and grab a pen and, using its point, traced the image on Clay's back.

"Wow, it's big huh?" The cowboy said once Omi was done and he put his shirt back on. "Whadaya think it means?"

"I do not know yet, but Master Fung says it has nothing to do with Wuya or Heylin. Yet we should remain vigilant regardless."

"Ten four good buddy," Clay said while giving him a thumbs up. "You gonna check on Raimundo next?"

Omi took a breath. "Yes. He's closest."

"Want me to come with, in case he tries to give you any lip?" The Dragon of Earth offered.

Omi looked down. It was embarrassing to admit, and it wounded his pride, but yes, he _would _like Clay's help in dealing with the Dragon of the Wind. "If you would be so kind."

"No problem partner, lead the way," Clay said.

Omi approached the Wind Dragon's room with mounting trepidation. '_I just need to get it over with_,' Omi decided. He quickly rapted on Raimundo's door and waited. Getting no response, he knocked again, and once again, he got no response. When he was in the middle of a third knock the door was thrown open, by an irate Raimundo who was clad in nothing but white and heart themed boxers. "WHAT IS IT?!" He shouted at Omi causing him to flinch back. Seeing Omi standing at his door with Clay, Raimundo seethed, "What do you want cueball? It's like six in the morning, can't this wait?"

"Settle down there partner, settle down," Clay said warning in his tone, "Somethin' afoot an' Master Fung sent Omi to investigate."

Rubbing the black circles under his eyes, Raimundo sighed. "Fine, come in I guess," standing back with his arms crossed.

Raimundo had a surfer theme to his room. He had a table consisting of a surfboard that had a bite taken out of it by a shark, posters of luah girls on the walls and painting of waves on the walls. Going over to a picture Omi picked it up and saw Raimundo surrounded by his mother, father, and no less than seven younger siblings. "Are these all your siblings Raimundo? There are so many of them!" Omi said, amazed he had so many siblings.

Taking the family photo from Omi Raimundo replied, "Yeah they're all my siblings, also don't touch my stuff without asking dude, not cool."

Omi bowed in apology. "My bad."

"Yeah, anyway, I doubt you came here to check out my room, so what's going on?" Raimundo asked placing the photo back.

Showing the Xiaolin Warrior the mark on his hand, Omi explained the situation. "So if you would kindly turn around, I need to finish checking you for a similar marking."

"Okay… wish you would'a waited like an hour though, it's not even six yet is it?" Raimundo yawned as he turned around.

"Oh, I see it!" Omi said. Pointing to the three counterclockwise swirls in a triangle formation near Raimundo's lower back.

Clay chuckled. "Well I'll be, didn't know you were the Tramp Stamp type Raimundo."

"What?!" Raimundo asked, sounding indignant.

"What is a tramp stamp?" Omi asked innocently. Before adding, "What is a tramp?"

Clay rubbed Omi's head goodnaturedly, "Tell you later buddy."

"Nu-uh, I don't believe it, I think you guys are punking me from yesterday!" Raimundo challenged.

"You got a phone?" Clay asked. Handing over a chrome smartphone, Clay took a picture of the red sigils, and then showed it to Raimundo.

"Damnit!" Raimundo swore. "Is this some kinda sick joke?"

Omi shook his head. "I do not know what's causing this, but I do not believe it's some kind of joke Raimundo," Omi replied seriously.

"I was being sarcastic chromedome," The Xaiolin Warrior of Wind replied with a sigh. "Now if that's all, can you leave? I wanna go back to bed?"

"Can you really afford to?" Clay asked, "We gotta do our and Omi's chores startin' today partner."

Raimundo ran a hand down his face. "Right, thanks _so much_ for reminding me Clay."

All the Dragon of Earth did in response to the sarcasm was tip his hat. "Only Kimiko left now Omi, think you can handle that on your own while Rai and I get started on our chores?"

The idea of having to search Kimiko's body for red markings made Omi flush. Yet he took a deep breath. 'I am just following Master Fung's orders, that's all! Nothing improper is going to happen,' Omi told himself. So thinking he replied, "I'll be fine Clay thank you."

"You sure cause you were totally blushing just a… oww." Raimundo said when Clay elbowed him in the gut.

"I-I have it under control! Thank you!" Omi said with faux confidence as he made his way out of the room.

* * *

'_I can do this, it's no big deal, I'm just looking for markings,'_ Omi told himself as he stood outside Kimiko's room. '_So why have I yet to knock?'_ he asked himself. Omi took a deep breath. He needed to check everyone, regardless of gender. '_You can do this Omi, just don't think about how pretty you find Kimiko and how you will likely get to see her with less than the usual amount of clothing on because of this… curses you are not helping, brain!'_

Taking another calming breath and banishing thoughts of Kimiko wearing… less than he was comfortable with envisioning her wearing from his mind, he knocked on her door politely. Receiving no answer he knocked again… then a third time. He was about to knock a fourth when he heard a voice from within groan out. "Whoever that is better have a damn good reason for waking me up before six in the morning!"

"It is Omi, I apologize for waking you Kimiko, but a situation has come up that Master Fung has asked me to look into. Might I come in?"

"Omi-chan?" Kimiko's voice had softened considerably when she heard his voice. He didn't know what 'chan' meant, but he doubted it was something bad. This was Kimiko after all. Hearing movement from within, he waited patiently for her to open the door. Moments later the door opened and Kimiko appeared.

She was wearing upper thigh length black yoga pants and a short pink shirt with a cat on the front that showed off her midriff. Her hair was down, which was unusual for her, and it trailed down to her waist. Even though she looked tired, she smiled at him sweetly. "What's going on Omi?

"Might I please come in?" Omi requested.

"Oh of course, come in," Kimiko said quickly stepping aside to let him enter.

For the second time, Omi found himself in Kimiko's room. It had a Japanese flair to it. A small table connected to a blanket sat in the middle of the room, upon which sat a laptop, a gaming system, and half a dozen wireless controllers. Water paintings of flowers hung on the walls. Yet the most curious thing was the grinning shark toothed mask of a brown-skinned monster-like creature that had bulging yellow eyes and thick grey eyebrows.

"Would you like to sit under the kotatsu?" Kimiko offered motioning to the blanketed table.

"Ko-tat-su?" Omi asked, sounding out the unfamiliar word.

"Yeah very good Omi!" Kimiko praised, "That's Japanese for a heated table, see?" Kimiko lifted up the blanket showing it had a control switch.

The little monk nodded. "Yes, I see. I would like to sit at this kotatsu, for a moment anyway."

He made himself comfortable and Kimiko did the same right next to him before asking, "So, what brings you by so early, not that I mind."

"Something strange is going on Kimiko," Omi said showing her the markings on the back of his hand.

"Wow… how did that..?"

"I do not know, I woke up and found them on the back of my hand. Master Fung, Clay, and Raimundo also bear similar marks on different places of their body. Master Fung on his right shoulder, Clay on his upper back, and Raimundo on his lower back. I…" He paused unsure how to continue.

"Omi?" Kimiko asked, confused as to why he stopped.

The monk took a moment to gather his courage. "I have been tasked by Master Fung to check everyone else for similar markings… you are the only one left."

"Oh…" Then she realized just _why _he was so nervous and blushed a bit herself. "_Oh!_"

Omi looked away and nodded. "Yes, I must admit I consider it most improper to be doing such things but… Master Fung ordered me to do it, so I shall persevere."

Rather than be offended, Kimiko laughed, "Omi any other guy would love to be in your position right now you know that? You _really are_ a gentleman. If Raimundo was the one who came in here and told me this, I'd have blackened his eye before I kicked him out and even Clay would've gotten a raised eyebrow but you're just… _too pure_ to lie about something like this."

"Thank you for trusting me Kimiko… how would you like to proceed?" Omi asked nervously.

Getting up from under the blanket, Kimiko went around to the front of the table and holding her arms out to her side did a quick twirl. "See anything?"

Omi swallowed before he shook his head. "I did not."

The two both flushed. "Then that means that it's…" Kimiko began.

"Underneath your clothes." Omi finished for her. "Yes… but it is possible you have no mark at all!" He sounded hopeful.

Kimiko quirked an eyebrow, "But how likely is that at this point?"

Omi looked away and sighed, "Not very."

"Omi," Kimiko said, getting his attention. "_I trust you,_" she told him sincerely. "If you need me to undress to see if I've got these marks then… I don't mind doing it."

"Kimiko," Omi said in a shocked tone before bowing towards her. "Thank you, I hope in time, I can prove worthy of the trust you've placed in me."

"You already have Omi," Kimiko replied as she turned around and pulled her shirt off and holding her hair up with one hand she asked, "Anything back there?"

Omi peeked between his fingers and unfortunately he saw no such sigil on Kimiko's upper back All that was there was a cherry blossom pink bra strap. Omi shook his head, "N-No, unfortunately not."

The Japanese girl took a deep steadying breath. "Okay then," Closing her aquamarine eyes, she turned around. She didn't hear anything from her fellow monk for a moment Kimiko opened her eyes. Omi was staring at her, his whole face a rosy red, his brown eyes big, and his mouth slightly agape.

'_Oh geez you broke him Kimiko…'_ Then she realized _she _broke him. His brain was on the fritz because he was staring at _her_. Now, Kimiko knew she wasn't ugly, but she didn't consider herself drop dead gorgeous either. She knew full well she lacked the air of Yamato Nadeshiko, a sweet demure japanese woman that boys liked and looked for back home. Unlike what was commonly looked for, she had opinions, a temper, and she liked to defy conformity hence why she constantly dyed her hair and wore out there outfits. Yet Omi, judging by his reaction right now, disagreed. It was a big confidence boost for her. She shot him a playful wink. "Like what you see Omi-chan?"

Being addressed snapped him out of his haze. He coughed into his clenched fist. "I, um… Kimiko is pretty no matter what she swears, yes."

'_If Omi keeps complimenting me like this, my head won't be able to fit out my door it'll be so big.' _Kimiko thought to herself. "See any markings."

Getting his mind back to task, Omi allowed his eyes to non perversely roam Kimiko's body. They quickly found what they were looking for. There on her breastbone, just above the valley of her womanly assets was the sigil he was looking for.

It looked like either an open tulip or a fireball. A counterclockwise swirl branched off into three peaks, that was the first mark. The second mark was a U shaped mark going from the two side peaks to another and the final mark was in the center of the third peak, almost connecting to the center swirl.

"I-I s-see it! It's r-right above… above your… uh…" Omi couldn't bring himself to finish. He was too flustered.

"My breasts?" Kimiko guessed grinning at the fact she had rendered Omi a stuttering mess, before she turned on her phone and activated mirror mode before zooming in on her new ink. "Wow, these look so cool," Kimiko snapped a picture, thinking she might get this inked on for real at some point.

"Yes, indeed, they are." Omi replied bashfully.

Putting her shirt back on, Kimiko stopped Omi as he started to leave, "Hang on a sec Omi… would you mind… hanging out with me for a bit?" Kimiko asked.

"I was told to report my findings back to Master Fung… but he did not say to report back immediately," Omi said to himself. "Very well can 'hang out' for a bit. What did you have in mind?"

In response Kimiko turned on her game system which in turn turned on the tv she had on her wall. "Wanna play Goo Zombies Two?" She asked, offering him one of two wireless controllers and selecting co-op.

"I have never played before…" Omi said hesitantly as he took the controller in hand.

Kimiko smiled encouragingly. "That's okay, I'll teach you. Ready?"

Omi got a determined look on his face as he nodded. "Yes!"

* * *

The next two and a half hours were spent shooting zombies in a top down shooter. Omi despite having never played Goo Zombies before, was one of the quickest studies Kimiko had ever seen. Once he figured out what buttons did what he was right alongside her blasting away that the zombie hoard. Though she must've beaten this game a good dozen times by herself, playing it together with Omi made it even more fun. They had just smacked the second of twelve bosses into next week and were sharing a cheerful celebratory hug when a knocking came at Kimiko's door.

"Come… come in!" Kimiko called.

The person at the door was Master Fung. He was smiling in amusement as he carried a tray with bowls of rice and tea, Raimundo and Clay following in his wake. "Hello there my young dragons, I had wondered what kept you from attending breakfast, it seems you were preoccupied… killing the undead?" Master Fung said in amusement.

The Dragon Warriors of Fire and Water had the decency to look sheepish. Kimiko apologized for the both of them. "Sorry Master Fung, it was my bad. I wanted Omi to hang out for a bit and we lost track of time."

The elder monk chuckled a bit. "Having fun is not a sin Kimiko as long as it, like all things, is done in moderation," he gently admonished before placing the tray on the kotatsu.

Kimiko nodded, "Yes sir."

"Nice digs," Raimundo commented off-handedly.

This earned him a glare from the Xaiolin Warrior of Fire, "You've seen it all _before_ Raimundo, or have you forgotten?"

Now let it be said that Kimiko Tomohiko wasn't the type to hold a grudge. Normally, she would snap at the person in question who had annoyed her and would've let her grudge go by now, but the stubborn Wind Dragon hadn't even bothered to apologize for sneaking into her room. In fact, he pretended like the event never happened. Clay apologized multiple times and profusely and Omi didn't even know it was wrong in the first place but still apologized while kneeling in a position of utmost respect.

Raimundo crossed his arms and looked away. "_Yeesh_, you're _still_ going on about that?"

Kimiko's temper flared. "Considering _you_ never apologized when Omi and Clay _did_, yeah, I am!"

Rolling his eyes the Brazillian said, "I'm _so sorry _for coming into your room uninvited Kimiko. _Please_ can you find it in your _big ole heart _to forgive me?"

"If you can say that with a little less snark, then maybe," Kimiko said as she ground her teeth together.

"Raimundo, apologize to Kimiko," Omi said seriously as he fixed his fellow Xiaolin disciple with a glare. "You, just like Clay and I, went into her room without permission, you should humble yourself and apologize for that and your rudeness."

"Don't tell me what to do, half pint!" Raimundo said scowling at Omi.

Unlike last time back in China, this time Omi refused to back down. He spoke in an even tone. "You can insult me all you wish Raimundo, but you _shall not_ insult Kimiko… _not_ in front of me. Now apologize properly or leave," Omi pointed to the door.

Raimundo glanced at the others, Clay was smiling, happy to see Omi standing up for himself, and Master Fung was passively watching the scene not taking one side or the other. Wolfing down his rice and throwing back his tea like a shot, Raimundo turned on his heel and stalked out, calling over his shoulder, "Thanks for breakfast!"

Omi suddenly found himself being hugged. Something that he was becoming more and more familiar with as he spent time with Kimiko. "Thank you for that Omi! You're my little hero aren't you?!"

"Do not mention it Kimiko, and I am no hero," Omi denied, "For that would imply you were a damsel in need assistance and rescuing, and that is something you shall _never_ be. You are strong, and when the pushing and shoving occurs you shove back. You are the Xiaolin Dragon of Fire. You can rescue yourself if need be," Omi said sagely.

"Omi… you're amazing you know that?" Kimiko said hugging him to her again and giving him a kiss on top of everything. He may not consider it so, but he'd already helped her out at least three times now. Once during the Showdown, he got her mother's memento back from Jack, and just now he defended her from Raimundo. Then he goes right on to tell her she's strong enough not to need a hero?

'_He probably doesn't even consider what he did heroic. To him it's just keeping a friend safe,' _Kimiko thought.

"Now my young monks, I do believe it is time for Kimiko to get her chores done yes? The temple rugs will not beat themselves," Master Fung said.

Kimiko stood and nodded before turning to her new gaming partner. "Right! We'll finish this later Omi."

"Indeed. Thank you again, Kimiko," Omi said with a polite bow before he left her to change.

As he walked down the hall he was stopped by Master Fung. "Omi, what did your investigation uncover?"

"Master, all the others bear similar markings, Clay on his back, Raimundo on his lower back, and Kimiko… She also has marks," Omi says looking away to hide his mild blush.

"I see," Fung decided discretion would be the better part of valor and not ask about the location of Kimiko's marks. "So the five of us plus Dojo have been marked."

"Dojo as well master?" Omi asked in wonder.

Fung's brow furrowed, "Indeed, and I know not what it means. What shall you do with your free morning young monk?"

"Hmm, help Kimiko with her chores I think. Some of the temple rugs can be quite thick and heavy," Omi decided as he walked off not seeing the surprised happy smile on his father figure's face. Yet he frowned, for he wondered who else might bear such markings, and whether or not they would be friend or foe.

* * *

Jack Spicer was in his lab, his goggles over his eyes as he put the finishing touches on the latest line of Jackbots. He was multitasking with the use of the Monkey Staff, welding on multiple Jackbots at the same time. All the while, Wuya was nagging in his ear.

"I do not understand! Why did you not ask for both the Flip Coin and the Monkey Staff?! You were in a position of power and held a meaningless trinket!" the ghost shrieked.

Having enough of her caterwauling, Jack turned to her lifted his goggles and scowled. "Shut up!" he snapped. He actually rendered the witch speechless with the heat in his tone. "The Flip Coin is damn near useless as you've pointed out before, I _like_ the Monkey's Staff as, if used in moderation it allows me to multitask, and lastly I'm not so much of a piece of lowlife crap as to hold the last vestige of a memory a girl has of her _deceased mother _just to gain a _miniscule _advantage. I may be evil, but I have _standards,_ thank you!"

Wuya was silently contemplative for a moment. "I… see."

"Gotta say, I didn't expect such… chivalry from you Jack. Meow!"

Giving a suffering sigh Jack turned to the blonde girl in the leather catsuit casually lounging on one of his machines. "Ashely what're you doing here?"

"When I'm in costume, it's Kattnape Jack, and I figured I'd give this villain thing a shot with you if you don't mind?"

Jack rolled his eyes. He'd known Ashley Bast since grade school. She always enjoyed teasing him, poking and prodding at his inventions and eccentricity. While he had no problem with her for her love of all things small, cute, and cuddly. More than once the word 'shotacon' had left his lips when things got heated between them. They had an odd friendship to be sure, completely platonic though it was.

"Umm, I don't think that would be a good idea Ash," Jack said, They may bicker like brother and sister, but that didn't mean he wanted Ashley getting hurt.

"I disagree," Wuya butted in, "At this rate you'll lose the only Shen Gong Wu you have left. Some help, _any help _would be most welcome at this point."

Jack folded his arms. "Hey things are so bad that we need to outsource!" Jack complained.

"Oh, then where is the Fist of Tebigong, where is the Third Arm Sash, or the Golden Tiger Claws?"

Jack held up his hands defensively. "Okay, okay, okay! So we're having a good run of bad luck lately. I still have the Jetbootsu and the Monkey Staff.

"Two out of seven _does not _inspire confidence!" Wuya screeched.

Jack huffed, "Well excuse me Wuya but if you actually taught me some of your magic hocus pocus I might just stand a better chance!"

Wuya stood stock still for a moment. "You… you would learn Heylin magic from me?"

Jack nodded slowly. "Yeah I mean it can't be too different from science right? If anything I can use it to improve my Jackbots. Plus you keep talking a big game, but we've got a saying in this day and age, put your money where your mouth is."

The eyes on Wuya's mouth narrowed, and she stroked her chin thoughtfully as she circled Jack, as if seeing him in a new light. "Hmm, yes I see. Very well Jack, if you are willing to learn, then I shall teach you. You and Ashley was it?"

"Yeah and cool," The cat themed villainess said giving a thumbs up.

"Why her?" Jack asked almost petulantly. He didn't want her involved in potentially dangerous situations.

"What's the matter Jack, jealous?" Ashley prodded.

The boy genius rolled his eyes. "I just wanna keep you outta trouble Ash. You don't need a rap sheet like your Aunt Amy."

"Hey, my auntie Amy is cool! She pushed me to get my degree in genetics," Ashley defended.

"She made real life Cuddle Buddies," Jack deadpanned.

Ashley shrugged. "True, but you gotta admit, they were cool for abominations against the natural order."

Jack nodded. Despite the fact that Amy Hall or DNAmy as she was known was known in the villain community, was nuttier than a granola bar; the fact she made sustainable chimeras was nothing short of amazing.

Suddenly, Wuya's eyes lit up. "Another Shen Gong Wu has activated! The Changing Chopsticks! Go! Capture this Shen Gong Wu for me and prove yourself worthy of my Heylin teachings."

"Fine," Jack sighed, "C'mon Ash and stick close okay?"

"It's _Katnappe_ when I'm in costume Jack!" the blonde snapped as she followed him to his hovercraft.

* * *

The Xiaolin Dragons were on Dojo's back, flying their way over the Pacific Ocean when Kimiko decided to ask Omi a question. "Omi did you hang some of the heavier rugs for me earlier?"

"Yes, I decided to assist you as thanks for this morning. In truth, I am unused to _not_ doing morning chores. I have become quite used to doing all of them as part of my morning routine as part of my life at the Temple."

'_Omi is routine and plan oriented,'_ Kimiko noted, filing that away. "So you did _all the chores by yourself _before we showed up?"

"Yes, it was good training." The young monk replied.

"How is doing chores training?" Raimundo asked.

Omi was prompt to reply. "Carrying and beating rugs helps build upper body strength, washing the floors helps with hand eye coordination, and washing the bowls and utensils after breakfast helps with dexterity."

"Huh, I never thought about it like that, but the lil guy has a point, all my work on the ranch is why I'm so bulky," Clay said, thinking out loud as Dojo spiraled down towards Easter Island the giant stone heads standing out even from this distance as if on an eternal vigil.

"Ohh, what is this place?" Omi asked, amazed by the giant stone heads.

"This is Easter Island Omi, it's famous for all these stone heads," Kimiko told him as she took a picture with her phone.

"Cool. Did I use that word correctly?" Omi asked.

"Yes you did Omi, good job," Kimiko said giving him a congratulatory hug before they dismounted Dojo. "Now, to find those chopsticks."

"I do believe I have found them," Omi said, pointing to a nearby statue who had the chopsticks shoved up its nose. "Kimiko?" Omi asked in confusion at what he was seeing.

"Yes Omi?" Kimiko asked.

"Is it normal for people to wear leather attire themed after cats including ears, whiskers, claws, and a tail?" Omi inquired.

Kimiko blinked. "_Nooo._ Why do you ask?"

"There is a blonde girl dressed as such heading directly for the Changing Chopsticks," Omi said.

"What?!" Kimiko looked and sure enough there was some weird fetishtist cat girl clad in latex and leather heading straight for the Shen Gong Wu, "Okay who's the blonde in the tacky costume with Spicer?"

"Look who's talking Bride of Frankenstein," Raimundo commented on Kimiko's now purple locks tied in four seperate bunches on her head. His comment earned him a fist to the gut from the Fire Dragon. "Okay Omi… Omi?" Kimiko asked when she saw the young monk missing.

She found him several feet away one hand on one of the changing chopsticks while the blonde hand her hand on the other. She watched as the blonde licked her lips hungrily. "Me-ow! Hello there, and what might your name be cutie?"

'_Did that fleabitten skank just call Omi cute?' _Kimiko thought to herself temper flaring.

"OMI!" Wuya screeched.

"Aww, is that your name cutie? Omi… _oh my_, me likeie."

"Omi," Jack called, warrily, "Listen to me man, you're gonna wanna take three very large steps away from her dude!"

"And give her the Changing Chopsticks, I think not!" The little monk retorted.

"Dude, if you don't back away right now," Jack said, fear growing in his tone by the second, "I can't guarantee your continued innocence man." He turned to his Jackbots. "Jackbots, set phasers to stun. Protocol red shirt pedo cat."

"Yes sir!" The Jackbots replied, blaster rifles bursting out of their chests laser sights homing in on Ashley.

"According to Kimiko I am very innocent," Omi retorted.

""Wrong kinda innocence dude!" Jack called out, "Step away from Omi Ashely or my Jackbots _will _tase you! I will _not _have a repeat of that time you played Santa for those kindergarteners… friggin' traumatized them, stuffing them in that sack."

"Those kids were adorable! Plus they were disenfranchised youth! They would've been better off with me!"

"That's kidnapping you idiot!" Jack replied. "It's in the name, _kid_-napping!"

Clay tipped his hat, "Guys, I think Omi's a little too close to a pedophile."

"Clay, lasso now!" Kimiko said worriedly.

"I… uh… didn't bring it," Clay said remorsefully.

"The one time we needed it!" Kimiko exclaims as she throws her hands up in the air at the entirely strange situation they are currently having.

Omi decided to end the weirdness he didn't entirely understand by saying "I challenge you… uh name?"

The blonde winked at the monk saucily. "Katnappe… but you can call me _whatever you want_ cutie."

"I shall stick with Katnappe," Omi said unsure if she was trying to pry into his brain. "I challenge you Katnappe to a Xiaolin Showdown."

"_Nope,_" Jack said, waving his hands around for emphasis. "Can't happen, not _gonna_ happen! No, way, no how, not between you and her!"

Katnappe replied with a throaty purr as she playfully pawed at Omi. "Why not Jack, I think this is a purr~fect idea,"

"WE DON'T!" Everyone else sans Omi and Wuya replied.

"Ahah!" Jack said gleefully, "You can't enter the Showdown because you don't have a Shen Gong Wu to bet!"

"Um yes I do, see?" She said holding up the Jetbootsu.

What the..?" Jack looked down seeing his feet were clad only in socks. "When the heck did you… I was wearing them the whole time! Nobody's _that _good!"

"Katnappe is," she retorted slipping them on her feet before turning to Omi and smiling, "What's the game cutie?"

"Tag. My Golden Tiger Claws versus your Jetbootsu," Omi challenged.

"Game on cutie," Katnappe said licking her lips like a hungry predator.

The sky suddenly darkened and several Easter Island Heads moved in, surrounding the two in a loose circle. Omi equipped himself with the Golden Tiger Claws on his right hand, and yelled, "Gong Ye Tampi!"

"What does that mean?" Katnappe asked, innocently cocking her head to the side.

Omi was quick to reply,"Oh, it means begin!"

"Oh, okay!" Go get em my babies!" She said before three small white kittens jumped out of the green satchel on her back.

Omi stood there surprised. Then he smiled, because everyone loved kittens. "Kittens? Hello there little ones, I am Omi."

"Meow!" The kittens said, trotting up to Omi and giving him a cursitory sniff before rubbing against his legs.

"They… aren't tearing him apart?" Jack said amazed.

"Awe, even my babies love him!" Ashley cooed before she nodded. "Well that settles it then, if _they_ like him, then he must be good people, they don't go up to just anyone."

The boy genius protested. "They're genetically altered super kittens! Their fluffy little death machines!"

Ashely hissed at Jack. "I'll have you know my babies are excellent judges of character hss!"

Then, just as suddenly as the Xiaolin Showdown began it ended, and the Golden Tiger Claws disappeared off Omi's hand and the Claws, and the Changing Chopsticks appeared in Katnappe's surprised hands.

"Um… I do believe I speak for everyone when I ask, what the hell just happened?!" Omi swore.

"Rai-mun-do!" Kimiko said drawing out his name dangerously. "What kind of foul language have you been teaching Omi?!"

"Now hold on, Kimmie Cub," Dojo said, "Swearing or not Omi has a point, what did just happen? She didn't tag him so… what?"

"No, but the cat's when on her person when the challenge was declared. It seems them rubbing on him counts as a 'tag' according to the magic of the showdown," Wuya said evilly as she rubbed her ghostly appendages together in triumph.

Omi hung his head in defeat. "I see… it seems I have lost."

Ashley frowned, she didn't like seeing the cutie all upset. She held up the Golden Tiger Claws asking, "What do these do anyway?"

"They let you teleport anywhere you can think of, c'mon _Ashley_, lets _go_," Jack demanded.

Placing the Tiger Claws on her right wrist, Ashley smirked. "_Anywhere _huh? Golden Tiger Claws!"

She slashed a portal and a grey-white void appeared below her kittens and they soon found themselves back in her pack. "Me-ow! Momma like," Tossing the chopsticks and the Jetbootsu to Jack she called back to him, " You can have these Jack, but I'm keeping the claws! _Golden Tiger Claws!"_

Another slash and a portal appeared beneath Omi's feet spitting him out into Katnappe's waiting arms. "I think I'll take cutie too! Bye-bye! _Golden Tiger Claws_!" This time, Katnappe jumped through the portal with Omi in her arms.

"That. Blonde. Bitch!" Kimiko screamed, hands ablaze as she stomped her way over to Jack, murder in her eyes. "Spicer! Where. Is. She?!"

"I don't know where she lives?!" Jack says defensively.

Bullshit!" Kimiko shrieked. "You knew her name, you must know where she lives,"

Spicer, not wanting to be the latest victim of female wrath, used the Monkey Staff to leap away onto the top of one of the Easter Island heads.

From his vantage point on top of the head, Jack saw something weird happening, "Uh, guys… what's that?!" Jack pointed behind them, where Kimiko and the others had been standing moments prior.

Turning the Xiaolin Warriors saw what best could be described as a red glowing magic circle inscribed into the grass, a mass of magical energy was whipping up a small tornado as the magical energy swirled around the circle. Finally the power reached its peak and not one but two figures appeared in the magical circle.

The first was a tall man with slicked back white hair, steel grey eyes, and bronze skin. He wore a black chest piece and a red mantle over his arms and on his waist. His lower body was covered in black combat pants and steel toed boots.

The second person was a girl with heterochromatic eyes, the left was amber, the right was green. She had brick red hair, and a bronze unicorn horn smack dab in the middle of her head with also what looks like headphones on both sides of her head trailed by ribbons the same color of her hair. Her skin was corpse pale, and she was clad in a dress fit for a bride with a veil, complete with stocking and stiletto heels. In her right hand was a large circular mace.

The power rolling off the two was palpable. For a moment no one moved, then the two strange beings noticed each other and blitzed apart at speeds too fast for the human eye to catch each leaving trenches in their wake with just their legs as they moved apart.

"Okay woah, hold up somebody explain what the heck just happened?!" Kimiko said, mouth falling open as she could feel the power rolling off the two.

The tall man turned towards Kimiko and blinked. "Tohsaka? No… you're far too young. Then he smirked. "Her daughter… granddaughter maybe?"

"Tohsaka… that's my grandmother's name on my mom's side… How do you know my Grandma old guy?!" Kimiko shouted at him.

That actually made him stumble a step. "Old? Wow, I know my hair is white but I'm not much over forty."

"That _is _old!" Kimiko retorted.

The man sighed, "Kids these days."

"Ahem," The servant across from him said quite politely while walking closer to Jack who is kinda freaking out at this moment.

Turning back to her, he replied, "Oh, sorry about that. Servant Archer at your service," He said with an over the top bow.

"Ber-Ser-Ker," The girl petered out while now standing next to where Jack is currently holding on to an Easter head.

Blinking the man whistled, "Yet you can still talk? Good for you, honey."

"Umm, could one of you preferably, the guy in red since the lady seems to have trouble speaking, please explain what's going on?" Jack called down from his perch.

Emiya blinked. "Wait, you mean… that none of you know what the Holy Grail War is?"

"The Holy what now partner?" Clay asked, confounded.

Running a hand slowly down his face, Emiya said, "Oh, no, not again."

"Even I with all my mystical knowledge am confused," Wuya admits. "But I know a very powerful ghost when I see one."

"Grail War… Fight… Fill… Master...Servant… Wish," Berserker replied matter of factly like everyone should get it from her few words spoken.

"You have a Magus who can bind an Elemental right here, but you don't know what the Holy Grail War is?" Archer asked dubiously.

Wuya frowned, "Bound!? I am not _bound_ to this simpering buffoon! He works for _me_!"

Jack pouted. "Okay words are hurtful firstly, secondly. We're partners Wuya, partners. I don't work for you, you don't work for me, we're in a mutually beneficial arrangement. Also I prefer to be partners with you too ma'am. Don't particularly like the sound of such a lady like you being my servant. Reminds me too much of Ashley and her fantasies."

"Ber-ser-ker!" The servant corrected.

"Berserker then, I still don't like it."

Clay took that moment to question. "If the lil lady is with Jack, then who's the other fella with?"

"Why the pretty lady of course," Archer replied with a smirk on his face.

Kimiko just rolled her eyes. "Peddle your lines somewhere else, that _doesn't_ work on me. You're _not even close_ to my type grandpa."

"Grandpa?" Archer asked, his brow furrowing and pouting like a petulant child.

"Um, I'd like to point out that no one explained what this Holy Grail War was?!" Jack shouted down.

Berserker blew her hair out of her face in annoyance. "I did too."

"In _whole _sentences Berserker," Jack amended.

"Master picky," Berserker huffed in annoyance.

Jack who was becoming more simian due to his prolonged exposure to the Monkey Staff retorted, "Well excuse _me_ for wanting an explanation in full!"

"The Holy Grail War," Archer began, "Is a competition to the death between seven Master-Servant pairs. The last pair standing is granted any wish they desire."

Silence for a moment, and then… "You're yankin' my tail!" Jack retorted waving his monkey tail at Archer.

Quirking his eyebrow at Jack, the Servant of the Bow replied dryly, "No, I assure you, I am not." He took a breath before he continued, "You and the girl,"

"I have a _name _grandpa!" Kimiko called out, "It's Kimiko Tomohiko!"

Archer sighed, "And you can call me Archer or nothing brat! As I was saying, you both likely somewhere on your body have three Command Seals. These seals allow you to give three absolute orders to your Servants, even against their will. However without Command Seals your right as a Master to a Servant does not exist. Just as without a Master to provide them with magical energy and anchor them into the present, a Servant cannot exist."

"Ah… how _interesting_, so you Servants are like a high class of familiar," Wuya noted.

"Yes," Archer said with a nod."I'm not even sure how that Berserker is staying manifested as the pathway connecting Master and Servant should be easily detectable but… I don't feel anything. For that matter we don't even have a proper contract established little Master," Archer told Kimiko.

"Wouldn't… you… like… to… know?" Berserker taunted smirking at Archer one hand on her hip, her mace planted into the earth.

Archer was amused. "Well, only if you feel like sharing."

"That's enough!" Jack said, jumping onto the ground and using his jetpack to break his fall. "Berserker, c'mon, we're leaving!"

"Yes… Master." Berserker replied.

Kimiko called out to the boy genius arm outstretched. "Wait a second Jack! Where can we find Katnappe? She kidnapped Omi."

"Yeah, _literally_ kid-napped him," Raimundo commented only to flinch back when Kimiko shot him a death glare.

Scratching his head, Jack said, "I really _don't_ know where she lives Kimiko. She split from her folks when her dad divorced her mom, and her stepmom is… well they don't get along, let's just leave it at that. The best I can do is say try Middleton Colorado, her Aunt has a place around there."

Middleton Colorado… Jack!" She called getting his attention again as he turned to walk away, "Thanks!"

"No problem, and good luck Kimiko!" Jack called.

"No worries, we'll find Omi!" She called.

Jack just laughed, "Oh, I _know _that. I meant in regards to Ashley. I've heard it said love is a battlefield, and if that's the case, then you're in for a rough fight."

"J-Just get outta here already, monkey boy!" Kimiko shouted blushing, furiously, her stutter just causing him to laugh. He gently grabbed Berserker in a princess carry and flew off with Wuya following behind them with a look of curiosity on her face.

* * *

**Word Count: 22,425** **Number of Pages: 55** **Date Completed: 3/9/2020**

* * *

**AN: This… this is what happens when I start watching all the shows from my childhood. How does such a fic come to pass you ask? Easy you take a blender, add one part Xiaolin Showdown, one part Kim Possible, one part Jackie Chan Adventures, add elements from Avatar the Last Airbender, and Fate Stay Night to taste, turn blender on puree, and don't forget to mix in the salt, lime, and secret ingredient… a boatload of Columbian grade A crack! Then, consume librially! And here is my co chef Snowy for more cooking inspiration!**

**Jesus christ and a cracker Bubba warn a guy before you crazy shit like this. My goodness, the insanity. I am in a full hazmat suit and the fumes from this crack show are getting me high.**

**Good, good, that means soon I shall surpass the late great Hindenburg himself! But you were saying Snowy?**

**This story will have a lot of twists and turns and we're derailing canon right off the bat. Omi kidnapped Jack spicer showing some competency and something is burning inside kimiko. Oh the humanity and this is without the grail fucking everything up. Hold onto your pants people we are cue for a wild ride.**

**Thank you Snowy for those… inspiring words. Till next time everyone this has been a Bubbajack and IcySnowSage Production. Peace!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Xiaolin Grail War**

**By: Bubbajack**

**Beta/Co-author: IcySnowSage**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Xiaolin Showdown, Jackie Chan Adventures, or Kim Possible. They all belong to Disney I think, with Fate/Stay Night being owned by Type-Moon.**

**Ch.2: Omi's Katnapping.**

Omi struggled his way out of Katnappe's grip as soon as they were out of the grey white void that the Shen Gong Wu created. Taking a fighting stance, he narrowed his eyes at the villainess. "Why did you kidnap me Katnappe?"

The blonde quirked her head to the side cutely. "Kidnap you, I didn't do that. I just wanted to spend some time _alone_ with you cutie."

Omi took a moment to process that, then came out of his defensive stance. "You wished to do the, hanging out, yes?"

Katnappe nodded emphatically. "Yeah that's it exactly. Thing is, your friends and Jack didn't seem too… keen on the idea."

Omi nodded in agreement, "Yes I see." Omi took a moment to look around his new surroundings.

There was a plush mint green couch off to his immediate left, a fuzzy looking thing that had many perches and cubby holes was pressed against a wide window that showed off a skyline filled with twinkling skylights and skyscrapers. The plush thing, he did not know the name of, had white kittens proceeding to claw and climb up it. On numerous shelves were hundreds of stuffed animals, the tags on them said 'Cuddle Buddies' and they looked like fusions of various animals. On the wall in front of him was a tv, larger than even the one Kimiko possessed, and flanking it were photos of a man and woman similar to Katnappe herself, and in a special frame was the picture of a slightly overweight woman with freckles and glasses on her face a blue otter with wings around her neck. Off to one side was a kitchen and down a long hallway he guessed was a bathroom, Katnappe's bedroom, a possible guest room, and the front door.

Seeing his gaze on the picture, Katnappe supplied, "That's my Auntie Amy. She's kinda my inspiration, you know?"

"What of the other two?" Omi inquired in an innocent tone.

"Mom… and dad." One was spoken of with sadness, the other, with heated venom. "Sometimes I wonder if the only thing keeping them together was me. Then I got my college degree earlier than expected and daddy traded mommy in for the newer younger model." Seeing Omi looking at her in confusion, she smiled and let out a little laugh. "Wow, look at me, you ask me one little question and I probably give you more than you can possibly understand."

Omi both did and didn't understand. "Your parents… are not together anymore?"

"They aren't," The blonde affirmed.

"But neither of them are dead, and you know where they are?" Omi continued.

This line of questioning threw her a bit. "What? No, no of course not! Why… Why would you think that?" She asked softly.

"I was left, abandoned to be raised in a Xiaolin Temple. I know nothing of my family, I have no last name, no history to speak of, you know who your parents are, where they are, and can speak to them when you want. Would that I could have such a luxury I would trade you for it in a heartbeat," Bitterness crept into Omi's tone by the end, his fists clenched at his side.

For the first time in her life, Ashley Amelia Bast felt someone crack her devil may care shell. She felt her heart go out to the young monk. She slowly walked over, fell to her knees, and enveloped him in a hug. "I'm sorry. I've heard it said that someone always has it worse than you, but I never really believed it… till today. I… I'm gonna go freshen up a bit, this leather heats up pretty quick, even on an island. Will you still be here when I get back?"

Omi sighed, "You want to do the hanging out yes?"

"Now more than ever little guy," Ashley said softly.

The young monk nodded. "Then yes, I will still be here when you return from… flouring your nose I believe the saying goes?"

That made the older girl giggle. "Powdering my nose you mean? Never stop being adorable Omi. I'll be right back."

She got up and walked away and for reasons he couldn't understand, Omi couldn't stop staring at her swaying hips as she walked.

* * *

"Why are we going to _Japan_, when we should be heading to _Colorado_?" Kimiko asked irate as she glared at her red mantled Servant as she sat on the back of the chinese quinlung.

Archer, still in shock over not only seeing a dragon which in this day and age was considered a miracle in and of itself, but he'd also been blessed to ride on the back of one as well? '_Did my luck rank up or something upon summoning?'_ He asked himself before he turned to his little master and replied, "There is someone we need to talk to in Fuyuki City. If you want to survive you're going to have to talk to your grandmother. She survived the last Holy Grail war when she was your age."

"Grangran did?" Kimiko asked, genuinely surprised.

"Gran… gran?" Archer asked with mirth tingeing his tone. He felt like he'd just been handed Ea by Gilgamesh himself. This was the type of ammunition that comes along rarely and he was going to abuse the hell out of it.

"You got a problem with what I call my grandma, old man?" Kimiko snapped, temper flaring.

"No, nonono! Of course not," Archer replied, smirk never leaving his face.

"I thought not, Dojo the house is over there, across the river. It's the fancy western looking mansion," Kimiko said pointing it out.

"Yeah, yeah, I see it Kimmie," Dojo replied before taking a sniff through his nose, "Just to be clear, it's not the mansion that smells of mold and dead things right? It's the nicer smelling of the two… right?" He sounded nervous and cagey near the end.

"It is," Kimiko affirmed, patting Dojo's scales reassuringly. "That other house… it belongs to some people Grangran told me never to go near, the Matou."

'_Sakura, what happened to you after I..?'_ Archer asked himself before shaking his head. '_There's no point in doing that now. What's done is done,'_ He told himself firmly.

The quinlung landed in the Tohsaka Estate's backyard and the three teens alighted off its back as a woman who looked to be in her late forties walked out into the yard, wearing a long red coat, over a white sweater, and black jeans. She had a look of amazement on her face. Her hair was long and dark, she had aquamarine eyes, and laugh lines on her face, with only a few faint strands of grey in her charcoal black hair that gave away her true age.

"Kimiko, why… how… where did you get a damn dragon?!" Rin Tohsaka exclaimed as her granddaughter ran into her arms.

"Grangran!" Kimiko said running into her embrace before giving her a pointed annoyed look. "You see me for the first time in like forever, and the first thing you ask about is Dojo?"

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm amazing Kimmie!" Dojo defended as he shrunk down in size and climbed onto Clay's shoulder, his usual perch when out with the others.

'_My granddaughter is too much like me,' _Rin thought ruefully. "Of course it's always good to see you dear, and I see you brought friends this time too… boys no less... " She leaned down and said impishly, "So, which one are you dating?"

"Grangran!" Kimiko flushed. "I'm not dating either of them! The boy I'm interested in isn't even _here_ right now!"

"Oh I see… so there is such a boy?" Rin said eyes gleaming in mirth.

"I… you… Omi being kidnapped isn't why we're here Grangran!" Kimiko growled, stomping her foot like a child being denied the toy she wanted.

"Kidnapped you say?" Rin's eyes going flinty as she spoke, her smile freezing into place making her look haughty. "By whom exactly?"

"An enemy of ours Grangran… oh but where are my manners? These are my friends Clay Bailey, Dojo Kanojo Cho and that's Raimundo Peradiso…" She switched to Japanese as she said flatly. "He is _not_ a friend, in fact, I barely tolerate his presence."

"I see..." Rin smiled and bowed to the three. "Welcome to my home Clay-san, Dojo Kanojo Cho-san, please come in," She pointedly ignored and snubbed Raimundo as she turned around and walked away.

"Much obliged ma'am," Clay said, tipping his hat before making his way inside.

"Okay, what'd you say to your grandma to make her hate me?" Raimundo asked sullenly, hands in his pockets and scowl on his face.

Kimiko smiled sweetly, "I just told her the truth, Raimundo, that you and I hardly tolerate each other at the best of times. It is true, no?"

"I don't hate you, I just don't get why you're so uptight all the time," Raimundo replied. "Like, is it a Japanese thing or what? I'd hate to think I'm stereotyping," Raimundo shrugged, " But you're not giving me anything else to go on here."

Kimiko took a deep calming breath. She recalled what Omi had said, about feeding her inner fire with the wrong emotions and the negative effects it could cause. So she didn't do that. Instead of bottling up her emotions like a normal japanese girl or feeding them to her flame, Kimiko vocalized them, something not normally done in her culture. "Raimundo, this is _not_ a game. If the Shen Gong Wu fall into the wrong hands, people, innocent people, could _die_!"

"I know that," Raimundo replied.

Kimiko narrowed her eyes. "Do you? Do you really? Think of what could happen now that Jack has the Changing Chopsticks and Katnappe the Golden Tiger Claws. Why with just those two Shen Gong Wu alone I could see Jack producing nanobots and Katnappe could be pulling off the world's largest crime spree, not to mention the fact that she _still _has Omi and is doing who knows what to him at the moment."

"What're you trying to say Kimiko, just spit it out already."

"I'm saying that you're not taking this Xiaolin thing, this or anything else, seriously!" Kimiko snapped at him. "You don't don't seem to care that we are the first, last, and only line of defense against the bad guys getting magical objects. Jack is at least mostly harmless, but Wuya? Someone else? What if one of those Servants get's ahold of one and figures out how to use it? We saw what two of them could do just moving, do you think a city would last long against one with a Shen Gong Wu?"

Raimundo imagined his hometown of Rio, crushed under the might of the Fist of Tebigong wielded by a Servant's already prodigious strength. He pictured his mother, father, and siblings dead on the ground, in pools of their own blood, their bodies twisted and mangled, limbs bent in ways no way limbs should bend, bloody bone poking out of their skin, and clothing torn. He shook his head, clearing away the nightmarish vision. "That's not gonna happen! That's why _we're here_!"

"Omi, Clay, and me, maybe," Kimiko retorted, "So far, all I've seen you do is talk a big game. You haven't done _anything_ to back it up _yet_."

Raimundo hissed through his teeth, "You wouldn't have even _won _your Showdown if Omi hadn't stepped in to save you _Princess Peach_."

"You're right," Kimiko agreed, nodding, "You're absolutely right. Omi saved me, the Showdown, and Grangran's amulet, costing him a Shen Gong Wu in the process. If I have to be anyone's princess, I will _happily_ be his."

"My, my," Rin said from her back porch, a smile plastered onto her face. "It seems You've gotten into quite a bit my dear. Shen Gong Wu, Servants? Being rescued by a heroic little monk? Why don't you come in and _tell me all about it, ne?_"

The last five words made it clear it was an order and not a question.

"Coming Grangran," Kimiko said stepping inside but not before kicking off her shoes and giving Raimundo a mild glare when he didn't do the same. The two joined Clay at the table where two mugs of green tea awaited them. Sitting at the head of the table, Rin fixed them all with a glare saying, "Now, start from the beginning and leave nothing out."

Kimiko took a breath, "It's like this Grangran."

* * *

Ashley came back from her shower clad in a baggy t-shirt, and shorts to find Omi walking around her apartment gazing at everything in childish fascination. He was in her kitchen, standing on a chair so as to reach the countertop as he messed with her Keurig. "Do you even drink coffee, little man?" She asked, resting her arms on the opposite side of the counter, a sly smile on her lips.

"I have never had it, but I wasn't going to drink coffee. I was going to use this… kur-egg?" He had trouble pronouncing the name, "To make some tea. It can do that if I put this in it correct?" He asked holding out some dusty old green tea bags she had in her cupboard.

Ashley giggled. "Yeah, it should be able to," He held out a hand for the tea bags, "Here let me, since you're a guest and all."

Omi handed over the bags. "Very well. I shall go make myself comfortable on the couch, unless you need my assistance with something?" Seeing Katnappe shake her head, Omi hopped down off his makeshift stool before he picked up the entire chair and placed it back at the small glass table in the kitchen before he moved to sit down on the green couch.

Just a couple of minutes later, Ashley came out holding two steaming mugs. Handing one to the monk Ashley took a sip of her own beverage. To her credit, she only grimaced a little bit when the tea hit her tongue. "Not my prefered drink but it's not so bad every once in a while."

Omi sipped his own and grimaced as well before giving an audible gulp. "Not to be rude, but...this tastes nothing like what I'm used to."

Instead of being offended, the thief laughed, "Oh, is that right? Well, in my defense, I drink the instant stuff, I bet it's _not_ as good as fresh tea leaves brewed by hand."

"It leaves… much to be desired," Omi replied as he took another sip.

Ashley laughed at his grimacing face. "Dude, if it sucks and we both _know_ it does, then why are you still trying to drink it?"

Taking a breath, the little monk replied earnestly. "It would be rude of me, as a guest, to refuse such hospitality."

"You really are the _purr_-fect little gentleman aren't you?" Ashley purred, pulling him into her lap and wrapping her arms around him like he was her favorite Cuddle Buddy. "Wanna watch some tv? Maybe Netfilx and chill?"

"What is a tv… What is Netflix?"

Ashley laughed, and hugged Omi closer to her in response. "Wow you really did grow up in a temple with like, no electricity or anything didn't you? Whatever _did_ you do for fun, little guy?"

"I trained, meditated, did chores, and practiced with my guzheng when time allowed," Omi replied easily as he watched Katnappe work a remote with many buttons on its surface. The screen on the tv lit up. She clicked on the icon and started scrolling through movies. "If you see something you want to watch, just say so."

A couple of minutes in, Omi did see something that caught his eye. "What's that?"

Ashley quirked an eyebrow and smirked, "Mortal Kombat? Oh you have so much to catch up on…" Ashely purred as she selected the movie and hit play… only to pause it and place Omi on the couch. "I'll be right back, a proper movie night requires snacks! _Golden Tiger Claws_!"

Katnappe cut open a portal and disappeared, reappearing minutes later with a giant bucket of buttery popcorn, and two huge sodas. Handing one to Omi, Ashley sat down on the couch and put Omi back on her lap, before putting the bucket of popcorn on Omi's lap.

Omi looked up at her, "Did you steal any of this?"

"Noooooo, of course not."

Omi nodded before taking a handful of popcorn. "Very well, as long as you say so."

Ashely felt a painful twinge in her heart_. 'He's too pure!' _So thinking she used the Tiger Claws again and threw a twenty through the portal, actually _paying_ for her ill gotten gains. For some reason, disappointing the little monk made her heartsick. Smiling down at him as he ate the popcorn with relish as if he'd never had it before, '_He probably hasn't,'_ Ashley realized. '_Poor kid.'_ Smiling she asked, "Ready for the movie?"

"Oh yes. Let us commence with the Mortal Combat!" Omi declared, butter dripping from his chin.

As the movie played the little monk couldn't help but make comments from a professional martial artists point of view. "This Kando person fought very dishonorably but I do not know if he deserved to have his neck broken. I wonder if I, too, could freeze the air around me like this Sub Zero person?" When the scene with Scorpion showed up, Omi muttered to himself, "Note to self, _do not _let Kimiko near _any_ chain like Shen Gong Wu… _ever._ Oh, come now, hitting below the belt is dishonorable!" Omi shouted when Johnny Cage did the splits before he hit Goro in the balls before throwing him off a cliff. Then came the final battle between Lu Kang and Kung Lou. "That was a bit over the top, and if he was such a _powerful_ sorcerer, why did he not just use magic to kill him right away, or fly to prevent his fall?"

"It's a movie Omi they are often full of logic holes like that, called plot holes. By the way can you _really _freeze the air like Sub Zero?"

"Possibly?" Omi replied answering her question with a question. "At the Xiaolin Temple I was taught to gather, focus and manipulate my chi or life energy. My element is Water and it correlates to the martial art of Yang Style Taichiquan. Observe."

Omi hopped down from his spot in Katnappe's lap and spun his arms around him in a fluid motion. "Water," He murmured. The horrid tea both he and the blonde thief tried to stomach earlier floated up into the air, forming a giant blob. Omi then spread his fingers apart before forming sharp claws, the tea broke apart into small droplets which in turn froze into small needle shaped icicles. Omi then shot his fingers forward and the dozens of ice darts impaled themselves into the empty popcorn bucket that Omi kicked into the air before turning it into a pincushion.

Ashely sat there, mouth agape. "Woah… Omi, that was amazing!"

"That," Omi replied easily, "Was something I mastered years ago. Of the four elements, water is the most versatile. It can bend and flow, harden and boil, become solid, liquid or gas upon command. Yet it is also… how do you say, an ace of all trades but a grandmaster of none?"

"Close enough," Ashley told him. "Yet if you could do this, why didn't you do it during the Showdown? You would've creamed me."

The young monk was quick to reply. "It goes against my morals to harm a lady," Omi replied. Clay was quite clear when he gave him his talking to. Women were to be respected, _never struck in any manner_. "I would like to make a deal with you Katnappe."

"Ashley," She retorted.

Omi cocked his head to the side, "Hmm?"

The blonde repeated herself. "My name is Ashley. Ashley Amelia Bast. I'd like it if my _friend_," She stressed the word. "Would call me by my name when I'm not in costume."

Omi nodded, just once, to show he had the point. "Very well Ashley. I would like to make you a deal."

"Shoot," The blonde replied.

Omi was quick to shake his head. "No, I do not wish to shoot anyone."

Ashley laughed. "No, that means go ahead."

Omi blinked and nodded. "Ah, very well. I will continue to hang out with you, but in return it would mean much to me if you would return the Golden Tiger Claws to me."

Ashley thought over his offer for a moment before she smirked. "Alright Omi, you hang out with me for the rest of the week and I'll give you the Tiger Claws back."

The little monk nodded. "Very well," He hesitated before adding, "In truth, I look forward to spending more time with you Ashley. I enjoyed tonight, despite the horrible tea."

Ashely laughed. "Same Omi. Of course, since I'm your hostess, I'll need to figure out where to take you, some place with modern culture. Middleton Mall would be a good start, I think. Whadaya say Omi? Up for some mall crawling tomorrow?"

"Is this mall rather small? Is that why there will be much crawling?" Omi asked innocently.

'_My Gosh he is just too precious! EEEK! I just wanna hold him and never let him go!'_ Ashely thought to herself. "No, that's just a term used for going to the mall and having a look around. A mall is a big building full of little shops lot's of things to look at. Even food."

"That sounds most enjoyable. Very well," Omi nodded along in agreement, "Where might I sleep?"

Ashley motioned for her to follow him and led him to a guest room, the primary color was green, the bedcover, pillow case, even the shag carpet and paint on the walls was a sea foam green in color. The bedframe, dresser and closet were all black wood.

"Ah, so this is a western bed," Omi said.

Ashely blinked, "Are you not used to having a bedframe?"

Omi shook his head. "I'm used to just sleeping on a futon, and when I'm not using it I roll it up and store it in the closet. Saves space."

"Right Xiaolin Temple…" Ashely then asked something she'd just now thought of, "Where's this temple at anyway?"

"Deep in the mountains of Tibet," Omi replied, unable to be any clearer than that.

"Wow, Tibet… Never been. Is it nice?" Ashely asked,

"The Temple is. Nice, I mean. Quiet, peaceful. It is a place where life is… slower. Here, in the rest of the world, I've noticed people are always in… such a hurry. Hurry to get to their jobs, home, rush, rush, rush! People are so busy running around they cannot see the trees in the forest. Can't appreciate the simple things like the sunset, a flower in bloom, the sound of the wind whipping through the trees, the patter of rain on the ground, or even the sheer awe that modern technology brings to their lives that continues to amaze me even now."

"Forest for the trees," Ashley said as she slowly digested Omi's words. He may be young, she didn't even know how old he was, only that he was younger than her, yet Omi had this otherworldly wisdom to him that other people she knew, lacked.

She decided to just ask him his age. "Omi, how old are you?"

"Fourteen," Omi replied matter of factly.

Ashley blinked, '_Huh, he's older than I thought,' _She bobbed her head a bit. "I see."

"How old are you, if I may ask?" Omi inquired.

Ashely smirked. "It's not polite to ask a woman her age little man. Also, super important, _never _ask a woman her weight."

Omi's eyes widened in shock before he bowed in apology. "I see, my apologies."

Ashley waved him off, "Don't worry about it Omi. Since you asked though, I'm seventeen." She then gave him a sultry smile, "Want me to _tuck you in_?"

Omi innocently shook his head. "No need, thank you but I appreciate the offer."

Ashely shook her head, '_Completely missed my subtext. Went right over his head.'_ Chuckling she said, "Good night Omi."

"Goodnight Ashley, pleasant dreams," Omi replied as she left the room and he settled on the bed before falling into a meditative trance.

* * *

Ronald Dean Stoppable was many things. Sidekick and best friend since Pre-K to superheroine '_I can do anything' _Kim Possible, Middleton Mad Dog, Middleton High Schools beloved mascot, and as he recently found out fabled Mystical Monkey Master of Yamanouchi ninja school. As it turns out, him being zapped by the monkey idols might've been some pre destined hooey and he might be a mystical 'chosen one' '_Like being KP's sidekick wasn't hard enough.'_ Ron thought as he woke up….

Only to find a beautiful woman with her arms around him. Ron froze. '_Woman, in bed with me… boobs… big… boobs… pressed up against my chest… she's not wearing a bra, why isn't she wearing a bra?!'_

_Why are you complaining?' _A small voice in the back of his mind asked, before giggling perversely.

'_Shut up libido!' _Ron thought before he took a deep breath and let it out, and did so again, using the meditation techniques Master Sensei taught him. '_Okay Ron, calm down, don't scream! If you scream mom and dad might come running which will lead to a whole slew of questions you 'do not' have the answers to!' _Taking more calming breaths, Ron decided on a course of action.

"First things first, wake her up and find out who she is and how the hell she got in here." He gave the woman a light shake, doing his gentlemanly best to ignore the simply _fantastic_ things shaking her did to her chest. "Miss, miss, please wake up! For the sake of my sanity if nothing else," Ron pleaded.

"Rmm, Wukong, stop it, Sanzang don't wanna get up!" The woman complained, rolling over and showing her slender back to him, that was a small mercy in and of itself, yet when he saw her back, he saw a large red tattoo on it, in, of all things, the shape of a monkey.

It was broken up into sixteen separate pieces, the limbs were in two pieces each the hands each formed into clenched fists, the chest was muscular with three separate marks forming a semblance six pack and the face being six individual marks, and finally the tail curled into itself formed by no less than five marks.

"Sanzang is that her name?" Ron asked himself. He gently poked her in the shoulder. "Miss Sanzang? Miss Sanzang, please wake up… it's…" Ron suddenly got an idea. "It's time for breakfast!"

The woman suddenly sat bolt upright, flashing him fully with her magnificent peach colored nipples on her bouncing bodacious breast, "Breakfast?!"

'_Is this heaven or hell?'_ Ron asked himself.

'_Who cares, it has titties!'_ His libido replied.

'_Shut up Libido!' _Ron said again before he addressed the woman. "Excuse me miss, but who are you and why are you naked in my bed?"

The woman cocked her head to the side, "Wukong, do you not recognize me? It's me, Xaunzang Sangzang!" She threw her arms wide, causing her bodacious breasts to jiggle like a jello mold. It took all of Ron's considerable willpower not to just stare utterly mesmerized, and watch them bounce.

Ron shook his head. "I have no clue who you are, and my name isn't Wukong, it's Ron. Ron Stoppable. Also, could you please put on some clothes?"

The woman looked down, seemingly unbothered by her nudity. "This bothers you?"

"Yes… and no," Ron replied honestly.

"Huh, it never bothered you before Wukong," Yet she seemed kind enough to oblige him as with a snap of her fingers clothes materialized on her body. Though calling them 'clothes' was a bit of a loose term. They consisted of a triangular blue bra which barely covered anything, over an open white habit, a hat with a veil on the back, and a long golden coat, from what he could see. The rest of her was still covered under his blankets.

Now that she was at least somewhat clothed, Ron found it easier to talk to her. 'It's Ron, Ron Stoppable," He reminded her, before asking, "Miss Sanzang, how did you get in my room again? More specifically _my bed_?"

"I was summoned into this room in the dead of night last night, it was dark, I noticed the bed, and I climbed into it," Sanxang said by way of explanation.

Ron gave her a dubious look. "Without checking if someone was in the bed first, and what do you mean you were summoned? By who, by what?" Ron's trouble senses, something he'd developed during his lifetime of adventures with Kim, were tingling.

Sanzang cleared her throat. "To answer your questions in order I sensed Wukong's aura so I felt fine sleeping in the same bed as him, I've done so many times before. To answer your second question, I am the Ruler of the sixth Holy Grail War, and, unusually, you have been chosen as my Master to act as an overseer for this ritual."

Ron blinked, took a breath, and said, "Okay, I think you and I are gonna have to have a _long, long_ talk. The best time to do that would be over actual breast… I mean breakfast! I'll cook; is that okay with you?"

Sanzang smiled and her cheeks went rosy. "Mmhm!"

* * *

'_Where does she put it all?' _Ron wondered as Sanzang ate her fifth plate of pancakes actually keeping pace with him and Rufus. '_Does all the weight go to her boobs?'_ He wondered.

'_I sure hope so,' _His libido answered.

'_Shut UP Libido!'_ Ron mentally screamed. Before he coughed into his hand. "So let me see if I've got this straight, You are _the_ Xaunzang Sanzang from the Journey to the West?"

"Yep!" The woman replied brightly, a wide smile never leaving her face.

"And you think that I Ronald Dean '_Constantly loses his pants on missions'_ Stoppable, is the reincarnation of _the_ Sun Wukong?" Ron continued.

Sanzang shook her head. "I don't _think_, I _know_ you are Wukong reborn. I could recognize his aura anywhere and yours and his are identical."

Ron nodded flipping three more pancakes on his, Rufus' and Sanxang's plates before he continued. "Putting that aside for the moment, you've been summoned from a magical throne that exists outside of _space-time_ that records every hero to _ever exist and ever will exist _to act as the impartial judge to a death game between a group of two team fourteen pairs of wizard-ghost teams whose goal it is to kill each other to get a rule free wish at the end of the game, right?"

"That is the Holy Grail War in a nutshell from what I've been told by the Greater Grail yes," Sanxang replied with a nod. "I would like to add that it is usually a free for all between seven Servant-Master pairs but several chosen Masters would _never _fight against one another, so seven more were chosen so the ritual could be carried out properly."

Ron sighed and ran a hand down his face. "This sounds completely insane, you know that right?"

"Yet you believe me, _don't you_ Wukong?" Sanzang asked knowingly with her smile never leaving her face.

"Yes, I do, and that's what's really scaring me," Ron replied with a sigh.

"Really?" Rufus asked his owner in his squeaky tone.

Ron turned to Rufus and asked, "Well, what do _you think_ buddy? Is she lying?"

Rufus looked between his master and the strange woman for a moment before shaking his head. "Nu-uh, not lying."

Ron rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, I was afraid of that."

"Ronnikins… who is this woman?" Ron's mother asked, utterly perplexed.

"Mom, this is Xuanzang Sanzang, a friend I made while I was in Japan, she kinda followed me back home. She'll be staying with us for a bit," Ron told his parents.

"Oh!" Diane Stoppable said surprised. She smiled at the girl, her mode of dress was a little… flashy but there was something about her, the way she smiled, the air of cheer she exuded that told the older woman her son hadn't brought home some streetwalker. '_Not like Ronnie would anyway, he's too pure and innocent to pick up a prostitute,' _Diane thought to herself. "I wish you would've told us beforehand Ronnie,"

"Mom, _this is_ my way of telling you!" Ron said grinning from ear to ear as he did so. His parents had been doing that to him for _years_ and he'd be lying if it didn't feel so _damn good_ to finally use it on them for once!

"Oh… so that's how that feels," Diane said to herself.

Ron nodded feeling somehow vindicated somewhere deep down in his soul. "Yes, yes it does! Kinda sucks doesn't it?!"

"Ronnie!" His mother said.

"Sorry!" Ron apologized, "It's just you guys do that to me _all the time_, and it gets old really, _really _fast!"

Diane sighed, "I'm sorry dear, we'll try to give you more of a heads up before we do things, but in our defense, _you_ never let _me_ or _your father_ know before you go off globetrotting doing dangerous things with Kimberly."

Ron opened his mouth to argue before he closed it. "Fair point!"

"Ron, you need to be more respectful to your parents, they raised you after all," Sanzang said from her place at the countertop bar. "Also, you're about to burn the latest batch of pancakes."

"Crap, crap, crap! Also, whose side are you on?!" Ron shot at the wannabe buddha.

"I'm a buddha, I don't take sides," Sanzang said with a smile. "But I will take more pancakes, _please_," She said, batting her eyelashes at him in a way she didn't know most men took as flirtatious.

Diane making her way over to help her son save breakfast whispered into his ear. "She's a keeper Ronnie."

Ron did a double take and looked at his mother. "Wah?!"

"Morning everyone," Jack Stoppable said, yawning as he came into the kitchen wearing his black and red plaid bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, carrying the paper under one arm. He blinked when he saw the unknown woman in his kitchen. "Hello, who're you?"

"I am Xuanzang Sanzang, a friend of Ron's from Japan. I decided to visit America and he was kind enough to host me. I'll be in your care for a while. Thank you in advance for looking after me," She said with a courteous bow. Ron would have done a spit take if he had any liquids in his mouth with how her breast almost bounced right out of her white habit. His dad and mother did not see this.

"I see…" Jack said. He then turned to his son, "I wish you would've let us know beforehand son."

"Dad, this _is _my way of letting you know!" Ron replied. Second time doing and damn it still felt oh so satisfying.

"Huh… so that's what that feels like… is there anymore pancakes?" Jack asked after a moment.

Ron nodded, "I saved you and mom a stack… if Sanzang's bottomless stomach is finally full, that is?" Ron joked.

"Your donation to the Buddha is satisfactory, thank you," Sanxang said cheekily with a little bow that made her boobs bounce… _again_.

"O~kay!" Ron said, "I think I need to take Sanzang out and buy her some new duds! To the mall!"

The monk looked down at her attire, "What's wrong with my clothing?" she asked innocently.

'_Other than the fact you're the walking sin of lust incarnate and one bounce away from being a stripper nothing,'_ Ron thought to himself. He didn't say any of that of course. He was raised to be polite. He said, "Well we can't have you wearing the same outfit while you're here the whole time, and you'd like to blend in while you're here right? You know, not sticking out like an obvious foreigner?"

Sanzang cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Yet I am an obvious foreigner… also I've already said my Class designation is Ruler, not Foreigner."

"Dad, after you're done with breakfast can we get a ride to the mall?" Ron asked swiftly hoping his parents absentmindedness and his own swift actions would curtail any questions about Sanzang's faux-pas.

"Of course son," Jack replied face covered by the morning paper, "You gonna use your 'special account' to pay for her things?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah."

Jack nodded, "We'll leave as soon as I eat and get dressed."

* * *

Omi's head was on a swivel as he walked. So many people, so many shops, so much going on and the place was so crowded. It was a bit much for him to comprehend all at once. Ashley giggled goodnaturedly. When she woke up at around eight thirty this morning she found her guest was already up and slowly moving through what could only be taichiquan forms. She watched silently as his body flowed like water from one exercise to the next for a time before heading to her kitchen and making herself a cup of coffee, only to find her kitchen spotless and smelling of pinesol. Her guest, when questioned, had been up for the past three and a half hours and spent the first hour and a half cleaning her kitchen. When asked why he responded with a simple answer.

"I am simply used to doing chores in the morning before breakfast. I do not like to break from routine if I do not have to."

Ashely silently resolved to do something super nice for Omi while they were at the mall today as a thank you. Even if he just did it as an ingrained impulse he cleaned her kitchen! '_I mean, who does that?' _Ashley asked herself as she watched Omi look around in awe. '_Besides Omi of course.'_

For their outing Ashley wore a surplice white halter top with a trail of red cat paw prints trailing up the side. Offsetting the colors of her top were the black pants she was wearing along with the white and pink skechers tennis shoes she was wearing. She had hoped to catch Omi's eye with her outfit, and she did the first time he saw her in it, calling her pretty. Yet now he was acting squirrely, head jerking every which way. She would've pouted if she didn't understand why. '_Poor guy's never been to a mall before.'_

"Ashley! Hey over here!" As they approached the food court, the part-time villainess heard a familiar voice call her name. Looking over, she saw Tara Strong, a girl she tutored for some extra cash waving her over. Tapping the little monk on the shoulder to get his attention, she said, "A friend of mine is over there, is it okay if we go say hi for a bit?"

Omi nodded. "Certainly."

The two made their way over and Ashley held back a scowl. Tara was with Bonnie Rockwaller, as she usually was. She didn't like the snooty, snobby, and snippy girl. She believed in the social food chain and people knowing their place in it. Ashely _hated _people like her. People who thought they were better than others simply because they had money. She grew up with money and status, but in the end, she ended up miserable. Not to mention one of her few friends Jack Spicer was truly miserable and alone even though his parents were stacked with dough. Bonnie was just like her… except that the other shoe hadn't dropped yet, and that's why Ashley couldn't stand her. She reminds her of who she was, back when her family was whole, before her eyes were opened by her parents nasty divorce.

She hated the brunette.

"Hey Ash," Tara said as she approached, "Aww, whose the little guy?" Tara cooed as she approached with Omi, thinking he was a little kid.

"You take to daycare to get by Bast?" Bonnie snarked before she looked to Omi who looked back and forth between the two of them, and asking with almost no venom in her tone, "What're you looking at shrimp?"

"You are both very pretty," Omi said eloquently surprising the two.

Tara and Bonnie blinked a five year old wasn't that well spoken. Tara looked to Ashely who was smirking. "He's not a little kid is he?"

"Tara, Bonnie, meet Omi, he's a fourteen year old Xiaolin monk from Tibet. Omi, this is Tara Strong and Bonnie Rockwaller. I'd suggest you keep your distance from Bonnie, she bites, and you might catch something nasty from her if she nips you."

Bonnie scowled at the older blonde, "I don't have rabies little miss cat scratch fever!" She then turned to Omi and scowled a bit, "And you, what's wrong? Never seen a girl before?"

Omi was quick and honest in his reply. "Not counting the crowds here Miss Rockwaller, you and Miss Strong would be the third and fourth girl I have seen in my entire life."

Bonnie blinked in surprise at such a sincere and honest statement, "Oh, well then… thanks for the compliment I guess."

Omi bowed, a gesture that wasn't usually used in America, "You are most welcome."

Ashley stretched working the tension out of her back that just being around Bonnie brought, "I'm gonna get us some grub Omi, is Chinese okay with you?"

Omi looked at her puzzled. "Why would I want to eat bugs?"

All three girls burst into a fit of giggles at that. "He is just absolutely _precious_!" Tara cooed picking him up and hugging him. "Can we keep him?"

Ashley giggled. "Isn't he just? Also, Omi, I meant food not actual bugs."

"Oh yes, that sounds wonderful thank you," Omi squeaked, his voice pitched and his whole head turning pink as Tara held the back of his head against her bosom.

"Um, T, I think you're gonna break him if you keep doing that," Bonnie said, smirk on her face as she took out her phone and took a picture.

"Hmm? Oh Jeeze, sorry Omi!" Tara apologized before she set him down on the bench.

Omi stood and postured slightly puffing his chest out, "It is fine, this is nothing! If I cannot handle this, then it means I simply must train harder!"

"I don't think Xiaolin training prepared you for being around girl's little guy," Tara said, stroking his head gently.

Omi nodded sagely. "This is true, all my training did not prepare me for… this." Omi frowned. "Is there anyway I can get over such a glaring weakness?"

Bonnie scoffed. "Being embarrassed around girls is completely natural. Don't let it bother you. Most guys try to play it off as them acting cool, it's nice to meet an honest guy for once."

Omi nodded. "Yes I see, and thank you."

"Hey Bonnie."

A tall blonde who was built like a brick house made his way up to the trio wearing a letterman jacket and bluejeans and brown hiking boots. He had a confident smile on his face.

Bonnie scoffed. "Go away Brick. I told you already! We're through!"

"Awe, don't be like that babe," Brick said trying and failing to act sauve.

Bonnie narrowed her eyes at the Middleton High Quarterback. "You were making out with Chantelle behind the bleachers you pig! Now piss off!"

Brick scowled. "Well is that my fault?! You say you're my girlfriend but we never do… stuff." Brick said, his brain seeming to overload by having to string so many words together at once.

"Sex you mean," Bonnie retorted. "I told you Brick, I'm not that kind of girl. Now get lost."

"I think you should leave," Omi piped up his voice serene but a storm was gathering in his brown eyes as the dots on his brow began to glow lightly, ominously.

Brick took one look at Omi and scoffed. "Back off half pint, the grownups are talking. Run along, find your mom, and eat your happy meal or something."

"I will not warn you again," Omi said, his voice containing an icy undercurrent to it, despite its serenity. "Leave now, before I make you leave."

Tara put a hand on Omi's shoulder. Not to protect him from Brick, but to protect Brick from Omi. She heard the word Xiaolin Temple and immediately connected it with kung-fu of some sort. She knew if it came right down to it, Omi could likely fight like a damn wolverine and tear brick to pieces.

Let it be known however that Brick wasn't known for his intelligence when not on the football field. He cracked his knuckles and took what he thought was a menacing step forward. "Oh yeah, what'chu gonna do midget?"

"This," Omi jumped, almost flying at the Quarterbacks face and his leap ended in a high kick. Brick's head jerked back and there was a sickening snap of bone breaking when his foot connected to the bigger boy's jaw. Omi landed with the grace of a crane on the opposing table, the teens of which were recording the event on the phones. He bowed to them politely and apologized, "Excuse me." He then turned ready to face Brick only to see him passed out on the ground. Omi blinked. "He has a jaw made of crystal as the saying goes?"

"Glass jaw, and no that's not it, you just hit like a mack truck," Tara said as she checked Brick's neck for a pulse. She sighed happily when she found one. She then noticed his jaw was swollen and purple. "I think you broke his jaw."

Omi covered his mouth in concern. "I.. did not mean to do that! Will he be alright?"

Tara laughed a little, "He'll be fine… they'll just need to wire his jaw shut till it heals. No real loss there since the football season is over."

Omi sighed in relief. "Thank goodness."

A sigh came from behind him and Omi turned to Ashley returning carrying chinese in her hands, a smirk on her face as she looked down at the KO'd Brick. "I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I Omi?"

"He was being rude," Omi replied susciently before hopping off the table he'd been standing on. "Now, shall we have lunch?"

Bonnie just sat there, shocked. This little monk just knocked out her ex for _her_? She didn't know how to feel about this. He didn't ask for anything, he didn't expect anything from her, he just did it because Brick was being a jerk. She continued to stare at the little monk as he sat across from her in the booth, clapping his hands together thrice in thanks for the meal before digging into beef lo mein. Her mind which had always been set on the social chain and pecking order was thrown out of whack by his actions. She didn't know how to feel towards this little monk doing something nice for her because he could, because it was the right thing to do.

Yet that wasn't the only thing happening right now, in this technological age, nothing stays quiet for long. The video of Brick toppling over like a ton of bricks soon spread across the net like wildfire, and Omi unknowingly had himself a new moniker… 'The Kung-fu Kid.'

"You've been oftly quiet Bonnie, haven't even touched the Crab Rangoon Ash got you," Tara noted.

Hmm?" Bonnie shook herself, and noticed that yes, there was a plate of Crab rangoon in front of her. She looked at Ashley and said, "Thanks, you didn't… didn't have to do that."

Ashley blinked, surprised her thanks didn't come with a snide remark, before shrugging, "Don't worry about it. It's rude to eat in front of people after all."

Bonnie looked to the monk who was eating at a slow, but steady clip as if every bite was precious, and should be savored. '_I swear, even eating, he had a sense of serenity about him,' _Bonnie thought, the only time that veenerer was disturbed was during a time of confrontation, like someone throwing rock into a pond, causing ripples to flow across its surface.

When a bit of beef fell from his chopsticks and onto his robe, staining it, Omi frowned, "Dang it! This was my only robe."

"You only have the one?" Bonnie asked, finding that odd.

Omi nodded, "Yes, doing the laundry by hand was considered a form of training for me back at the Temple."

Bonnie nodded, she knew how she could help and in her mind at least, make it up to the little monk. "Right, well I know what we're doing next then," Seeing she had everyone's attention and in her element, Bonnie Rockwaller declared, "We're going shopping!"

For reasons Omi didn't understand, Omi felt a chill run down his spine at that declaration, as if some primal sense was telling him to run away, _fast_.

* * *

'_I should listen to my instincts more,' _Omi thought to himself as he was dragged from store to store and forced to try on various outfits. Finally after an hour in one store named after a banana he said, "Ladies, while I appreciate what you're trying to do, these clothes," Omi looked down at the baggy khakis and blue sweater they had forced him into. "Don't really suit me. They are too constricting, I'm not sure I could fight in these if I needed to."

Tara nodded. "Yeah I get what you mean, you need something that flows, that breaths."

"Yes please," Omi said, stripping off the sweater and not for the first time, showing off the eight pack his training had granted him, causing the girls around him to blush. He was clueless about this of course. He was so used to being the way he was, and so _unused _to being around women that he had no clue he might be considered desirable by the opposite sex.

Thankfully Club Banana being what it was, catered to all ages, including kids, which due to Omi's size he needed to wear. "Do you have a favorite color Omi?" Tara asked as she looked through various shirts.

"Blues, greens, anything that could remind me of the sea, or water. Red and black is also fine." Omi replied.

"Right I got you little guy," Tara said, picking out several shirts and dress shirts that matched or at least color coordinated. Tara picked out a blue dress shirt, dark blue t-shirt and jean shorts that on Omi would be normal length before handing them to him "Go try these on. I think now that we've got a theme for you, this'll go a lot faster."

Omi moved shirtless to the changing room.

"Am I the only one who hates to see him go but loves to watch him leave?" Ashley asked no one in particular, releasing a breathy sigh as she did so.

"The Kung-Fu Kid is jacked y'all," A new voice said appreciatively.

Turning the girls saw Monique Montenegro standing there wearing her Club Banana uniform, eyeing Omi up as she watched him walk into the changing room. The girls, even Bonnie waved in greeting. Bonnie may not like Monique all that much, but she respected that fact she could take her insults and throw them right back at her.

"You tryin' to kit the kid out in some new gear?" Monique asked, anyone who could knock Brick flat on his ass with one kick had her respect. '_It was about time someone shut him up,' _she thought.

"Yeah, he only has the one robe so while he's here I figured we could pimp out his wardrobe," Bonnie said.

The dark skinned girl laughed, "Yeah and this has nothing to do with him jacking up Brick in your defense right girl?" Bonnie flushed, scowled and looked away, causing Monique to just laugh louder. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay, let's see what you got goin' on here."

Monique looked through the outfits, nodding at some and shaking her head at others. "Right pretty good ladies, but you're forgetting, he's a Xiaolin monk, kung fu has its own… what's the word? Esthetic, that's it! You wanna properly blend the two together, East meets West to get it just right."

"What do you reccomend?" Ashely asked, she's spoken to Monique several times before and knew better than to question her when it came to fashion.

Monique, in her element now, started nodding, "Yep, I got something in mind, hang on."

She all but zipped around the store picking up things from here and there discarding pieces from the pile the girls had made and keeping others and the last thing she placed on the pile was a child sized tan duster coat.

Ashely had to ask. "Why the coat?"

Monique rolled her eyes. "_Girl_, have you never _seen _Bulletproof Monk, Hard Boiled, or any other Chow-Yun Fat movie? He _always _has a badass coat, and if the Kung-Fu Kid is gonna imitate the modern monk, a cool coat is a _must_."

"True, and his name is Omi by the way," Ashely supplied.

Monique smirked, "Omi the Kung-fu Kid, has a nice ring to it."

Coming out of the changing room, Omi asked, "Did someone call my name?"

Monique bowed like she'd seen in so many kung-fu flicks, "It's a pleasure to meet you Omi, oh grand master of the ancient art of whoopass."

Omi bowed in return, "The honor is mine, but Yang style taichiquan is meant for defense of myself and others, not for the kicking of butt. Though that does happen more often than not."

"Spoken like a true master of the art," Monique said rising. "I helped the others pick out your new duds."

"Duds? Is something not working?" Omi asked curiously.

"Like oh my gosh y'all, he's just _too pure_," Monique said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Too pure." The other three girls echoed, nodding as if it were a mantra or a prayer.

Sighing, Monique pointed as she walked away, "I'll be at the cashier when you're ready to check… out?" Monique stopped and stared for a moment, blinking before rubbing her eyes then she said, "Ron? What're you doing in here _without Kim_… She narrowed her eyes and asked dangerously, "Is that a hooker wit'chu boy?"

Ron ran a hand down his freckled face, this, sadly, was not the first time today he'd been given an odd look or even been asked if he was a sugar daddy as he walked through the mall with Sanzang following in his wake. He was not, though he could certainly afford the lifestyle if he wanted to. "No Mon, she isn't. This is Xuanzang Sanzang. She's a friend I made while in Japan and she needs something a bit more… a bit less… help me _please_," Ron begged with desperation in his tone.

Seeing Ron Stoppable so upset, Monqiue knew dragging this cluelessly peppy girl around must have the poor boy at the end of his rope. She decided to throw him a life line. "Don't worry Ron, I got you man."

"Thank you, you're a saint!" Ron said, sighing a heaving breath as Monique moved forward and led Sanzang away.

"C'mon girl, let's get you… well kitted out and covered. Though I'm sure Ron doesn't mind the view, right?" Monique joked.

"I'll have you know I'm a gentleman _Mon_," Ron said, scowling a bit at the insinuation he was anything less.

"Chill boy, chill." Monique said, "You're also a guy, and we both know you'd be lyin' if you said you didn't enjoy the view of these bouncin' hills," Monique said giving Sanzang a playful nudge and causing said 'hills' to jiggle.

Ron sighed, "Why do you torture me so? Have I done something to offend you, oh mistress of fashion?"

Monique rolled her eyes, muttering, "Besides not getting the hint you mean?"

Ron heard her. "Hint? What hint? Hint about what?"

Monique just shook her head as she led the other girl away. "If I gotta tell you, you don't deserve to know Ron."

Ron stood there, confused. "I'm lost. Do you know what she means Rufus?"

The naked mole rat popped out of his owner's pants pocket. "Nope, not a clue."

Ron sighed, "Women, can't live with 'em," Ron began.

"Can't live without em," Rufus finished.

"Wow Stoppable, so desperate for attention you bought yourself a girlfriend huh?" Bonnie snarked, "How long till she gets her green card and ditches you?"

"Bite me Bonnie," Ron snapped in no mood to put up with her shit today. "I'm not in the mood."

His swift remark and his tone cut Bonnie to the quick. It was almost ritual, her and Stoppable snarking and quipping at each other. For him to shut her down like that must mean he's really out of sorts.

Tara, who was on far friendlier terms with him than she was made her way forwards tentatively, "Hey Ron, rough morning?"

"Hey, Tara, and yeah, you could definitely say that," Ron ran a hand backwards through his hair before turning back to Bonnie, "Sorry for snapping at you like that, Bon-Bon, but I've had _just about enough _of people insinuating Sanzang is a hooker, and I'm desperate enough to be a john. She's _not _a hooker, she's just innocently naive," Ron calmly explained.

Bonnie nodded. She guessed everyone had their limits, even Stoppable. "It's fine Stoppable. Don't worry about it."

"I need some Bueno Nacho after this mess," Ron said to himself.

While Monique was picking out clothes for her, Sanzang kept her gaze fixed on Omi and Ashley, smiling, '_How fortunate! The Buddha has led me to two masters already! They seem to be on opposing sides and unaware of the coming War. I must get them alone and speak to them at the earliest opportunity,'_ she thought as clothes were piled into her arms by the dark-skinned girl Wukong referred to as Mon.

"Here you go girl, head into the changing room and try these on, they should fit. Lemme know if you need help alright?" she said, directing her to a changing stall.

"Yes, thank you… Mon, was it?" Sanzang politely inquired.

"Monique Montenegro," Monique replied offering her hand, before realizing the girl was Japanese, likely chinese based on her name, and bowed instead. "Nice to meet you Sanzang."

The woman bowed in return. "And you as well… " she paused, eyes glittering knowingly, a smile stretching on her face.

"What?" Monique asked.

"You _like_ young Wukong do you not? But he is oblivious, yes?" The would-be Buddha asked pointblank.

Monique smiled wryly. "That obvious huh? Yeah I dig the boy, we got a lot in common, but I don't wanna have to hit him over the head with it," She shrugged, "If he can't figure it out, his loss."

"Be patient with young Wukong," Sanzang advised. "He always was dense about most things, that seems to have not changed, it's just changed location."

Monique crossed her arms, "Girl you're talking about Ron like… like you've known him _forever_, not just a _week_," Monique realized with trepidation and the clues she noticed. "You called him Wukong… and he called you Xaunzang Sanzang."

"You are very smart Monique," Sanxang praised. "Do keep this to yourself though, ne?" she stage-whispered.

"So Ron… who is _afraid of Monkeys_… is the Monkey King? The _Monkey King_?!" Monique asked, trying to wrap her head around this. She might not be a true believer in magic but there are stranger things in heaven and on earth.

"Karma is a strange thing isn't it?" Sanzang asked, her tone wise and knowing beyond her years, "That one who once defied heaven and the Jade Emperor himself, that the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, should reincarnate as a human with a fear of the very thing he once ruled over… his immense power sealed by that very fear. One might call it karmic retribution, no?"

"Damn," Monique said as she looked over at Ron who was chatting amicably with Omi. She shook her head again as Sanzang left to go change. " Double Damn."

* * *

Ashely was happy to see Omi get along with Ron Stoppable. What she knew of the boy she knew secondhand from Tara and her crush on the boy, but he seemed very down to earth and kind, the kind of person Omi needed. It helped that he too made up funny phrases and instead of mocking or correcting the monk for his missteps, encouraged him to own them.

"Never be normal Omi," Ron encouraged. "Why be normal, like everyone else, when you can stand out from the crowd by being yourself. Live your truth dude."

Omi nodded. "You are very wise."

Ron pointed at himself. "Me wise? Ha! Now that's funny! You're the one with the whole zen thing going on little buddy."

"Inner peace and wisdom are two different things Ronald," Omi replied, using his full name. "Having one does not necessarily mean possession of the other."

Ron gave a slow nod, as if it took him a moment to understand that. "Yeah, I guess that's true," Ron's stomach rumbled. "My Naco alarm just went off."

Omi cocked his head to the side, "Naco? What is a Naco?"

Ron looked horrified, "You've… you mean to tell _me_, you've _never _had a Naco?" Ron pointed his finger to the heavens! "We must fix this injustice immediately!"

"Ron, what're you yelling about?!" Monique called over.

"Omi has never had a Naco Mon! This is serious biz!" Ron declared.

"Serious biz!" Rufus agreed, poking his head out of Ron's pocket.

Omi pointed a Rufus in shock. "Your pet, he talks!"

"Rufus?" Ron said, "Yeah he's wicked smart."

Rufus gave the little monk a thumbs up before squeaking, "Sup dude?"

"Hello little friend, I am Omi, would you like to be friends?"

Rufus nodded, "Sure! Got any cheese?"

Omi shook his head, "I do not."

"All the more reason to get to Bueno Nacho, stat!" Ron said.

"Patience is a virtue,Young Wukong," Sanzang's voice called out, making Ron turn… and stare.

For Sanzang was now wearing her golden cloak over a light blue sweater over her chest which he was thankful for, with matching jeans, and sandals on her feet. She also had a tiger print scarf wrapped around her neck, and a white fishermans hat on her head. All in all she looked very pretty, and Ron said as much. "You look great Sanzang… not that you didn't look great before! I mean, it's just that… uh… help?" Ron asked.

Omi looked at her, not at her body, but at the soul beneath that. He _knew_ who she was. "You look pretty, and most presentable now, though you looked good before," Omi said before bowing respectfully, "Young Bodhisattva of Sandalwood."

Sanzang bowed in turn, even lower than he to her. For though his flesh was young, his soul was as old as the most ancient redwood tree, his power as vast as the oceans around the world over. "Well met, Great Reincarnator. Your karma is vast as the ocean and pure as a mountain spring."

"Any idea what's going on here?" Ashley whispered to Ron.

"If I had to guess… a meeting of equals," Ron muttered back.

Straightening, Sangzang made her request. "If I may have a moment of your time Great Reincarnator I have news of something that concerns you and your acquaintance," Sanzang's eyes flickered over to Ashely's however briefly.

Omi gave a slow nod. "Very well," Omi turned to the others, "We shall meet you at the Bueno Nacho, yes?"

The others looked between Sanzang and Omi before nodding. "We'll pay for your things and head on over," Tara told him.

Monique made her way over to the register in a bit of a daze. "Hey girls… lets… let's get all this rung up, yeah?"

After the others, sans Ron had left, Omi and Ashely turned to face the Bodhisattva, whose usually bright cheerful smile had lessened by not disappeared, now it was just a simple smile. She clapped her hands once before she began, "I must say, it is quite fortuitous indeed that the Buddha led us to cross paths today. That I, the Ruler of the Holy Grail War, would come across two Masters who have yet to summon their Servants. Yes, most auspicious indeed."

"Holy what now?" Ashely asked.

"The marks on your upper arm," Sanzang pointed out, causing the blonde to notice for the first time, the three red claw marks on her upper right arm. "They mark you as a Master, one meant to summon a Servant, and fight in a battle royal for a single wish."

Omi looked at his hand where the stylized wave mark was. "I am to fight my friends, my master?"

Sanzang shook her head, "No, due to so many Masters being so close and chosen by the Greater Grail, a secondary system kicked in which necessitated my summoning and the choosing of another team of seven other masters just so the ritual can commence as it should," Sanzang pointed at Ashley, "She is one such other Master."

"I refuse," Omi said sharply. "I _refuse_ to fight a friend, regardless of what 'side' she is supposed to be on."

Sanzang just smiled a little wider, her eyes sad. "It is not _I _who reinforces the combat between all parties, Great Reincarnator… no, that particular duty belongs to… _another._ _I_ just reinforce the rules of the Holy Grail War and make sure they are upheld."

"Well Me-ow, what are the rules anyway?" Ashely asked, slipping into her Katnappe persona, fist on her hip while her heart felt elated that Omi already considered her a friend.

Sanzang took a breath before she explained. "Firstly, that the Grail War cannot officially start until all Servants are summoned. Secondly, fights between Servant's are only supposed to take place at night away from people. The general populace is not supposed to know about magecraft, or modern magic if you will. Lastly should you not wish to participate, you use up all of your Command Seals, or your Servant falls in battle, you may seek protection on holy ground, where fighting is forbidden. Any who break these rules can have a bounty placed upon them by me in return for an extra Command Seal."

"Okay, that's cool and all but how do we go about summoning them?" Ashely asked about the one thing Sanxang glanced over.

"Oh, yes!" Sanzang smacked her fist into her palm. "You need to do the following."

* * *

"To set up a proper Servant summoning," Rin began leading the children down to the basement where she kept her workshop, "You need to set up a summoning circle one created out of silver, gemstones, or if you're lacking in funds, blood will also work."

"Blood ma'am?" Clay inquired.

"Blood carries power, Clay-san, energy, lifeforce what us mages call od, qi, or chi. A circle of blood is a powerful conductor of magic."

"Chi, Omi talked about that!" Kimiko said brightly. "He taught us to use our chi to manipulate the elements."

"Using your od _directly_ to manipulate the elements?" Rin sounded both intrigued, awed, and shocked at the same time. "Such a thing should not be possible, humans even magi shouldn't have enough od to do much…" Rin said as she led them into a wide room that had a circle of gemstones set into the floor, three feet in circumference. On the opposing wall was a workbench and the room was lit by kerosine lamps the smell causing the children to wrinkle their noses.

Kimiko nodded. "Yeah, I can manipulate fire, Clay, earth, and Raimundo wind. Omi-chan, who isn't here, has the most experience with it and can control water."

"I would ask for a demonstration, but that can come later, first things first. You will one at time, spill some blood in the ring of gems over there and recite the following incantation."

"Just a moment, Grangran I… already summoned a Servant," Kimiko told her.

Rin blinked, "What, how?"

Kimiko shrugged, "I don't really know, I was watching a showdown for a Shen Gong Wu called the Changing Chopsticks, and then two of them just appeared. The one for me called himself Archer, and the other for Jack Spicer called herself Berserker."

"Hmm… could've been the ambient magic affecting the area from what you've described of these Shen Gong Wu and these Showdowns they each have powers equivalent to Noble Phantasms, and a Showdown could be some sort of self activating Marble Phantasm that reshapes the terrain to the desires of those fighting over the contested Shen Gong Wu," Rin continued to mutter to herself about topics the Xiaolin Warriors couldn't even begin to understand.

"Um, Grangran you were saying about the incantation?" Kimiko said, coughing into her hand.

"Right, right, sorry about that," Rin apologized, "Before that though I would like to see your Servant just to gauge its power."

Kimiko didn't see the harm. She shrugged. "Um Archer, could come here for a moment please?"

There was a long suffering sigh was heard on the wind seconds before the red mantled man materialized a few feet from Rin. The Tohsaka matriarch immediately went pale looking like she just saw a ghost. "I-It c-can't be! Of all the people for her to summon… it had to be you?!"

The man in the mantle just smiled. "Nice to see you too, Rin. The years have been kind to you."

Kimiko looked between the two in confusion. "Grangran you know this guy?"

Rin reinforced her arm as much as she could before she slapped the Heroic Spirit of the Bow with as much force as she could muster. Archer's face hardly moved. "Was that worth it?" He asked as Rin held her hand in pain.

"Yess!" Rin hissed, holding her reddened palm feeling like she just slapped a steel wall. "Damn you straight to hell Emiya Shirou!"

"Ma'am, do you need me to get you some ice?" Clay offered.

Rin shook her hand. "No, no, thank you though Clay," She took a deep breath before turning to Kimiko. "Of all the people you could've summoned…"

"Grangran?" Kimiko asked, feeling he was important. "Who is he?"

Swallowing, Rin said, "Kimiko, meet your grandfather, Emiya Shirou… Shirou meet your granddaughter Kimiko Tohomiko."

Dead silence for all of five seconds and then… "WHAT?!" This came simultaneously from the Servant and her Master.

Archer, or Servant EMIYA looked at the girl. He assumed correctly that she was Rin's granddaughter, but for her to be related to him as well? '_I just don't see any of me in her then again, she is a generation removed.'_

"This grandpa," Kimiko pointed at her Servant in bewilderment, "Is my _actual_ grandpa?"

"More importantly," Emiya said ignoring Kimiko's barb, "When did you even _get _pregnant and _why _didn't you tell me Rin?"

Rin scoffed. "It was the last time you were in Fuyuki, right after Raiga's funeral. As for why I didn't tell you," Rin shrugged, "I didn't think you would care, you were so busy trying to save everyone, save the world, to finally be the Hero of Justice you always wanted to be… who was I to get in the way of that? Furthermore, how could I know you'd even give up on your dream, just _because _you brought a child into the world?"

The Servant clenched his fists. Once again, he was damned by his own ideals. Only this time, the price felt so much steeper. To miss out on the fact he even had a daughter… "Where is she? Our daughter?"

"She's buried in a graveyard in Tokyo," Rin informed him, "She died a decade ago, in a car crash."

Emiya had been across innumerable battlefields, committed atrocities, stood upon hills of corpses, slaughtered whole civilizations, and committed mass extinctions in his time as a Counter Guardian, and he'd never wanted to wretch more than he did now. Through clenched teeth, he managed to get out, "What… What was her name?"

"Ayako Illyasviel Tohsaka," This time, it was Kimiko who spoke, her voice low and sad.

Just the name brought up almost forgotten faces. They were hazy, like a half remembered dream or a mirage in the desert. The first, was of Ayako Mitsuzuri, the brown haired snarky Captain of the Archery team, and the second was of the fairylike Illyasviel von Einzbern, the older sister he barely got to know before she passed. One was one of his best friends and the other, an enemy turned family, albeit for a short amount of time.

"I see, what was she like?" He asked, this time he faced his granddaughter directly.

"She was sweet, kind, she acted childish sometimes but she was a loving mother. She taught me to play the Hichiriki a year before she passed," Kimiko replied.

EMIYA smiled, "She sounds like quite the amazing woman. Did she take up the craft Rin?"

Rin shook her head, "Knowing she lost her father to it, in a roundabout way she wanted nothing to do with Thaumaturgy, and I respected that."

EMIYA nodded. He didn't blame her for her choice either. "I see… So it seems I have a granddaughter to look after. Heh, well will wonders never cease?"

"Yeah well, my idea of hanging out and getting to know you _isn't_ getting attacked by heroes of myth Jiji," Kimiko said with crossed arms. "Also you're a _jerk_ for never coming back to visit kaa-san or grangran even once while you were still alive," Kimiko switched into Japanese out of anger and frustration.

"Can you keep it in English _please_?" Raimundo asked.

"Can _you_ learn the native language please?" Archer shot back just as fast.

Clay smiled, "Well I think it's grand you get to hang out with yer grandad Kimiko, on that note, do you want me to send him through a wall ma'am? I'll do it if you want me to," Clay offered Rin.

Rin smiled, "That's… sweet of you Clay, but not necessary. We don't need to be damaging the foundation."

"There's also the fact I'm twenty times stronger than a normal human being." Archer added.

"Is that all?" Clay asked, smirking, "I used to wrestle bulls back home on the ranch fer fun, I could take ya partner."

"Okay, Clay is a badass… duly noted," Raimundo commented.

Kimiko stepped between the two as they continued to stare each other down, "Okay, put em away and zip up your fly's boys," She glared at her grandfather turned Servant when he kept glaring at Clay, "That's _enough_ Jiji." The Command Seals just above her bust began to glow ominously.

"As you say, _Master,_" His tone had a teasing lilt to it as he stepped away.

"So… how does this ritual go exactly?" Riamundo asked.

Rin sighed, "Once you spill the blood, you do this incantation."

* * *

_**"Silver and iron to the origin. Gem and the archduke of contracts to the cornerstone. The ancestor is my great master Schweinorg.**_

_**The alighted wind becomes a wall. The gates in the four directions close, coming from the crown, the three-forked road that leads to the kingdom circulate.**_

_**Shut (fill). Shut (fill). Shut (fill). Shut (fill). Shut (fill).**_

_**Repeat every five times.**_

_**Simply, shatter once filled.**_

――――_**I announce.**_

_**Yourself is under me, my fate (doom) is in your sword.**_

_**In accordance with the approach of the Holy Grail, if you abide by this feeling, this reason, then answer.**_

_**Here is my oath. I am the one who becomes all the good of the world of the dead, I am the one who lays out all the evil of the world of the dead.**_

_**You, seven heavens clad in three words of power, arrive from the ring of deterrence, O keeper of the balance ―――!"**_

Back in Ashely's flat, Omi and Ashley had just completed a ritual each of them standing in front of a circle of blood as mana flew forth in a glorious display of color. When the rainbow display of light cleared, two women were standing in either circle, brought forth by their users' will.

Omi deep in his heart of hearts wanted a family, a place to belong, a place to call home. More than anything, he wanted to know a mother's love. Something that was unknown to him even now.

The woman in front of him was dressed in an elegant blue black and gold trimmed furisode kimono of the finest quality the long billowing sleeves etched with black and gold, her pink hair was tied off into two long braids by the blue ribbons in her hair, and she wore high heeled black geta sandals on her feet with blue stockings, her eyes were golden amber… yet her most striking feature by far were the nine swaying golden fox tails behind her and the ears poking out behind her head. Floating around her was a large round mirror inset with eight stones of lapis lazuli.

"Mikon! EHH! Holy crap, I've got all nine of my tails back?! _Mikon?_!" The woman exclaimed. "Yet Caster is _still _Caster… _how_?"

The miko fox looked at the boy in front of her, and she didn't see _just_ him. She saw eight other ghosts standing behind him, their hands on his back, as the dots on the boys head lit up like small stars. She saw the ghosts of past incarnations staring at her, their eyes aglow with pale fire silently judging her, pleading with her, asking her…

'_Protect him,' _They said, '_Use this gift, and protect him.'_

The weight of her past never felt heavier upon her heart as it did in that moment. "Mm, I've got him, don't worry," Caster promised the ghosts of incarnations past.

The ghosts faded one by one as if satisfied by her answer. The last to fade was a tall thin bald man, with a single glowing dot in the middle of his head. He nodded to her, just once before fading into nothingness.

The woman in the other circle, a pale silver haired woman with golden eyes wearing a crimson dress and hat that covered her face in shade, said nothing as she watched the ghosts depart. She like the other was also a spirit, a ghost, and could see other similar apparitions. Instead, she focused on the blonde girl. "I Servant Assassin, have come at your calling, I ask of you… Are you my Master?"

"I am… ugh, why did I have to get a dog person?" Ashley asked, noting the two metal canines standing sentry next to the woman.

"Hohoho!" Assassin laughed a haughty sophisticated laugh, "If that is the only thing we disagree on little Master, I'll be very much surprised." Assassin glanced at Omi and his Servant, "Am I to assume due to our dual summoning that the boy and his Servant are to be considered allies and not to be harmed?"

"That's right!" Ashley said sharply, "There will be no harming of Omi or Caster, was it?"

Caster nodded sharply, her vulpine eyes fixed on Assassin, "That is correct, and any attempts to harm my dear little Master shall be met with _lethal force_ Servant of Murder," Caster's nine tails curled around Omi protectively as she bared her teeth at her fellow Servant.

"My, my, quite protective isn't she?" Assassin mused with a smirk on her lips.

Omi for his part felt warm and safe snuggled up in his Servant's tails, yet despite how safe he felt, he couldn't allow a bloodbath to start here in Ashley's home, they had enough blood on the floor already as it was. "Caster, please stop."

He felt himself being dragged towards his Servant, and a tail moved out of the way allowing him to look his Servant in the eyes. Amber met brown as she leaned down to look at him. "What might your name be my little Master, ne?"

"Omi," The young monk replied, "I suppose I should just call you Caster for now?"

Her fox ears twitching Caster picked up on something. "What of your last name, Omi?"

The little monk looked away, "I do not have one. I never knew my birth parents nor my familial name."

"Mikon!" Caster said using her catchphrase before she pulled her master to her in a hug. "There, there little Master, you have your super amazing Servant now! You're not alone anymore! Caster's gonna mother you _so_ much!" She promised as she wrapped her arms and all nine of her golden furred tails around the boy, giving him a super fluffy hug.

In a tone so quiet only she could hear Omi said, "Thank you... mother."

That just made her squeeze him a bit harder. "Such a good boy!"

Assassin and Ashley just shared a look. '_These two!_' they thought simultaneously, the master smiling while the Servant shook her head bemused.

* * *

Raimundo scowled as his servant stood in the circle of stones. He was a pretty boy whose eyes were almost covered by his light reddish-brown locks, the single eyes he could see was a bloody red. He was wearing a sleeveless white and gold trimmed haori over a green vest, and matching ballooning pants that ended in armored leg guards and sandals, on his wrists where what looked to be kevlar gloves, in which he held two oversized kunai knives, and he had a red scarf wrapped around his neck. On his right shoulder was a black tattoo of swirling winds.

He turned to clay who had a woman with long purple hair trailing down to the floor, wearing a little black dress, stockings and heels that did nothing to hide her pale voluptuous form, and a visor that hid her eyes from view. Seeing this he complained, "Dude, this is so unfair! I get a prettyboy ninja and you get a supermodel?"

"I guess that's just the luck of the draw partener," Clay said grinning.

The woman said nothing, but she smirked in an almost condescending way at the Dragon of Wind.

"Well, my gender aside, I do hope to prove my loyalty in the coming conflict," Assassin said, smiling brightly.

"Yeah, we'll see Assassin," Raimundo sighed and rubbed his eyes. "We still gotta find cueball too."

"His name… is _Omi_… Raimundo," Kimiko said dangerously, glaring at her fellow Xiaolin Dragon, as both their Servants tensed preparing for potential conflict.

Raimundo rolled his eyes. "Omi oh my, either way, he's still missing and we still gotta find him."

"Now, now, cool your jets partners," Clay said, stepping between them, his Servant, Rider following his lead. "Ain't no point in shuttin' the barn door once the horses have already left." Seeing Kimiko's quizzical expression he tried again, "What I mean to say is, No point in opening old wounds. Just calm down y'all."

"Master is correct, bickering will get us nowhere," Rider spoke in a quiet sensual tone.

"Thank'ya ma'am but I'd appreciate if it ya'd just call me Clay," The cowboy said, tipping his hat and flashing her a smile.

A twitch of her eyebrows upwards was the only sign of the Servant's surprise. She had been called many things in her time, Goddess, Monster, Demon, Beast, Sister… but never ma'am. Also she had never been spoken to in such a polite and courteous tone before. She was unsure how to respond to this, but she decided to honor his request. "As you say Mas… Clay."

"Grangran, did you ever manage to set up that Wifi router I sent you last Christmas?" Kimiko asked.

Rin sighed, "After much trial and error yes, why do you ask?"

Pulling out her phone and connecting to her grandma's network which wasn't secure she noted, she said, "We were told by Jack that the girl who kidnapped Omi might be located in Middleton Colorado. There happens to be a teenage heroine who lives in the area who might be able to track him down for us if I can get onto her website and send in a request."

"What's this girl's name?" Raimundo asked.

"It's…" Kimiko said.

* * *

"_Beep-boo-boo-Beep"_

Kimberly Anne Possible head cheerleader of the Middleton Mad Dogs and part time hero flipped open her Kimunicator and said, "Go Wade!"

Wade Load, boy genius and computer expert, was clicking away on his computer as he spoke. "Kim, we just got a request on the site. There's been a kidnapping of a fourteen year old Xiaolin monk named Omi. The kidnapper is actually related to DNAmy from what I've managed to dig up."

"Seriously?" Kim asked, blinking at that before quickly scanning through the file Wade sent her. Ashley Amelia Bast had already graduated college at seventeen, with a Masters degree in genetics, her parents were divorced and Ashely herself was renting an apartment in the chitzer part of Middleton. "You rock Wade, I'll pick up Ron and we'll… you know, for once we can just walk to a villain's lair. This is a nice change of pace," Kim mused.

"I know right?" Wade replied, "I'd be nice if all your foes were in walking distance."

Kim laughed and shook her head. "So not, I'd never get any sleep if they were _all _in the tri-state area. Seeya in a bit, Wade."

Wade gave Kim a salute. "Bye Kim, I'll get a hold of Ron and let him know about the mission."

Kim took her backpack and went into the girls bathroom to change into her mission gear. Five minutes later, she came back out, wearing her tan baggy pants, black crop top, kevlar gloves, and heavy duty boots. She walked towards the entrance to the school and found Ron still wearing his usual oversized red jersey and cargo pants. She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Ron, did Wade not tell you about the sitch?"

Ron nodded. "He did KP, I just don't think there might _be_ a sitch?"

"Oh? Why not?" Kim asked.

Ron "I met Omi and Ashley just yesterday at the mall foodcourt, they both seemed pretty chill around each other and I'm almost a hundred percent sure Ashley couldn't hold Omi against his will even if she wanted to."

Now Kim's interest was piqued. "How so?"

"Rufus phone." Ron said, holding his hand out for his cell.

The naked mole rat held out the rectangular device. "Here ya go."

Ron fiddled with it for a moment before he brought up a UTube video and handed it to Kim. "This is why KP."

Pressing play Kim watched as the supposed kidnapee did a truly impressive high kick and knocked Brick Flagg, Middletons own Star Quarterback clean out, she winced when she heard Brick's jawbone break. She watched Tara check his pulse and declare him alive. "Wow, just how strong is that kid?"

"Bromi is fourteen actually," Ron supplied.

"Bromi? You ran into him yesterday and became friends?" Kim said with a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, he's got a wicked sense of humor. You'd like him KP. Ran into him Ash, Tara and Bon-bon, in Club Banana."

"You… you Ronald Dean Stoppable set foot in Club Banana without me? Who are you and what have you done with Ron?" Kim asked semi-seriously taking a playful mantis kung-fu stance.

"Hardy har har, you and Mon are comedic geniuses KP," Ron snarked, "But no, I was helping a friend get new clothes."

Kim knew Ron wasn't the most social of people not that he didn't try of course he just had a unique personality. So hearing he made two or three friends in one day surprised her. "What was his name?"

"Her name Kim," Ron corrected. "Her name is… Sanzang!" Ron waved as he and Kim made their way out of the front doors of the school.

Kim looked to where her best friend since pre-K was waving and saw him waving at a voluptuous woman with long dark hair in a green top, jeans and geta sandals. She also noticed where Ron's eyes were looking as she made her way forward, and tilted his head up slightly whispering into Ron's ear, "Her face is up there Ron."

Ron flushed a little and nodded. "Right, um thanks KP… but can you _really_ blame me for staring?"

"As a woman yes, yes I can," Kim replied. Before adding, "As your best friend though, I completely understand… even I'm staring," Kim who had no insecurities about her appearance found herself staring just a little as the woman approached since everything 'bounced' every time she walked.

"I _know_ right?" Ron whispered back, adding, "And she's _wearing_ a bra by the way."

"That's just not fair," Kim pouted.

"Young Wukong!" Sanzang said, enveloping Ron in a hug. "Did you take advantage of your time here in this place of higher learning?"

"Umm… yeah yep sure did," Ron said, pulling nervously at the collar of his jersey.

Sanxang narrowed her eyes. "Are you lying to me Young Wukong?"

"Ron's very unmotivated when it comes to his grades sadly." Kim supplied before offering her hand to the other woman, "Kim Possible I don't think we've met?"

The seemingly older woman's eyes brightened as she took in Kim's form. "Ohh, so you are the Kim Possible Young Wukong speaks so highly of! Xuanzang Sanzang, it is a pleasure to meet you in person at last!" She bowed respectfully.

"Ro~on! If you keep putting me on such a pedestal, I toates might fall off!" Kim flushed as she bowed to the other woman in return.

"But you totally are awesome KP," Ron replied. "You cheerlead, know mantis kung-fu, and save the world even on weeknights. I mean what else other than totally awesome describes that?"

Straightening, Kim retorted, "If I'm totally awesome then your also totally awesome Ron because you do the same things I do while also being the school mascot."

"Yeah but you do it all while also maintaining a 4.0 gradepoint average KP, clearly your awesomer than me," Ron countered

"So not," Kim rebutted.

"So… So!" Ron shot back.

Sanzang watched the two bicker like brother and sister and smiled, it was an endearing scene to witness. "The care you two have for each other is quite endearing."

Their childish argument ended right then. Kim flushed and looked away while Ron grinned and slung an arm around Kim's shoulder. "Ain't she great Sanzang? She's only the best surrogate sister and family a guy could ask for!"

"Right back atcha you big goofball," Kim said, punching Ron in the arm. "Now are you ready to go make a housecall?"

Sanzang asked a question. "Is something going on Kim?"

"Someone put a mission up on my site, saying that Omi whom you and Ron met yesterday had been kidnapped by Ashley, who you also met. I'm just going to go over to her house with Ron to check and see if it's a hoax or not." Kim explained.

The Ruler smiled. "I would like to come with you if that's alright? I already consider Ashley-san and Omi-san friends and would like to help clear this up."

Kim shrugged, "I don't mind."

"Booya!" Ron said, "Dreamteam is on the move."

"Yeah! Booya!" Rufus said, poking his head out of Ron's pocket. "Sup Sanxang?"

"Hello little friend, I picked something up for you on my way here," She said while reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small wedge of cheese.

"CHEESE!" Rufus squealed, before taking the morstle and nibbling away at it. "Tank yoo veri mooch," The naked mole rat said though a full mouth.

"You are most welcome Rufus," Sanzang replied before turning to Ron and Kim, "Where to next?"

"Patt's Bakery," Ron declared.

Kim blinked, "Why Patt's Bakery?"

"Kim, I don't think Omi's been monknapped, so we shouldn't go in full bore like we usually do. Instead, we play it cool. We go to Patt's pick up some doughnuts, and then 'conveniently be in the area' and decided to stop by for a visit. _Then_, we bring up the kidnapping thing."

Kim was silent for a moment. "That… is very well thought out Ron."

Ron smiled, "Thanks KP."

* * *

Thus the trio set out to the oldest bakery in Middleton that had been an institution in their town for almost a century. Patt's was a small but well known bakery that made the best breads and sweets in town. The trio left the premises with two dozen fresh doughnuts in short order. Once they were outside and a ways away Kim asked a question that was on her mind since she watched Ron pay for the food.

"Ron where did you get a _black _Discovery Card?" Kim knew those were only handed out to people who had a lot of money in their bank accounts.

Ron coughed into his hand nervously, "Well KP remember when I invented the Naco?" When the copper red heroine nodded, the blonde sidekick continued, "Well, I got my first quarterly royalty check from Bueno Nacho a month or so ago…"

"How much was it… sorry it's really none of my business," Kim hedged.

Ron shook his head, "No its fine…" he mumbled a figure Kim couldn't hear.

Kim leaned in, "How much?"

"_Ninety-nine million dollars_," Ron whispered into her ear.

Kim stopped stone cold. "Nine… ninety-nine… _million_?" She stared at Ron in shock for a moment before she said, "You're acting very mature about being suddenly rich. I would've honestly expected you to…" Kim trailed off.

"Blow it all and act like an idiot like I did when I got the new haircut?" Ron asked. "Nah, I learned my lesson the first time Kim. Plus, though this may come off as a stereotype… I _am _Jewish."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at her friend. "Ron just because you're Jewish doesn't mean you're a miser."

Ron shook his head. "No, not miser KP. Just smart with my money. The moment I got the check I went straight to my dad and he opened up a bank account in my name, but he made me _promise_ to talk to him and mom before I make any purchases over a hundred grand."

"Oh," Kim said surprised that such a thing happened. "Have you ever made such a large purchase?"

"Only three times," Ron said.

"Can I ask on what?" Kim inquired.

Ron ticked off on his fingers, "The first time was when I paid off my parents mortgage on the house. The second time was when I paid off the mortgage on Wade's and your houses…"

"Wait you did what?!" Kim's eyes almost bulged out of her head. "Ron you… you didn't need to do that."

Ron blinked like Kim just said something dumb. "Of course I did KP, I gotta look after my family after all," That earned him a hug from the redhead.

When she broke the embrace she asked, "What dare I ask was the last thing?"

Ron scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Well remember the anonymous donations Mr. and Mrs Dr. Possible's workplaces got two weeks ago…?"

Kim sure did remember! Her parents both came home with huge grins on their faces. When asked, they said they each got a twenty-five million dollar donation to their respective jobs. Such windfall meant everyone was getting a pay raise, newer better tech, and more staff could be hired, and in her dads case projects could get more funding.

"You didn't?!" Kim gasped.

"Well I still got a little more than forty mill on me so… yeah I did."

Kim slowly shook her head, "Ron you… you're like, the ultimate best friend."

Ron shrugged. "Like I said KP, I look after my family." This earned him another hug.

"I do believe we are nearing Ashley's apartment are we not?" Sanzang said with a giggle in her tone.

Ron and Kim looked around and saw that yes, they were nearing Middleton Heights, it was a ritzy apartment complex on the better part of town. The building was tall and imposing looking a lot like a mini Empire State Building in NYC. The trio approached the door and were stopped by the burly looking doorman in his black slacks, crisp white undershirt and red vest. "Can I help you sir and madams?"

"Yeah we're here to see Ashley Bast?" Ron said, "If you could tell her Ron Stoppable is here to see her, I'd appreciate it sir."

"One moment please," The man said before he hit a buzzer on the wall next to him.

"Yes?" Ashley's voice came through an intercom.

"Miss Bast, one Ron Stoppable is here to see you along with a couple of other ladies."

"Ron? Put him on please."

Ron stepped up to the intercom. "Yo Ash, sup? I brought doughnuts!"

A laugh came through the intercom. "Yes that's Ron alright. Whose with you Ron?"

"Sanzang from the other day and my best friend KP, Kim Possible?" Ron said, "Is Bromi with you?"

"Naturally, and I'll buzz you in."

Moments later a loud buzzing was heard and the front door unlocked. "Sweet! We're in!"

"Please enjoy your visit to Middleton Heights… damn kids," the doorman mumbled under his breath.

After taking the elevator all the way up to the penthouse, the trio got off and knocked on the door. Ashley opened it wearing grey sweatpants and a pink tank top. "Sorry for dressing super casual, but I wasn't expecting guests."

"It's all good," Ron said, "Check it! I got Patt's!" Ron said coming in with two dozen doughnuts.

The blonde playful pawed at her fellow blonde. "You're just trying to fatten me up before you sacrifice me to your pagan Bueno Nacho god aren't you Stoppable?" Ashley joked.

"Bueno Nacho demands sacrifice!" Ron cried before cackling evilly. "Restrain the virgins and bring the vat of liquid queso sauce to a boil!"

Ashley rolled her eyes, Kim did the same, and Sanzang said, "There are worse ways to go. Death by liquid queso at least _sounds _delicious."

The other two girls looked at her before laughing. Then they came into the living room Ron took one look at the pink and silver haired women before turning to Sanzang and saying, "Somehow, I know this is your fault."

"Ron, I doubt your friend can magically make more women appear," Kim cajoled as she made her way towards the couch where the two women along with the small bald monk who was sitting on the end of the couch, sat.

"You," The boy said, pointing to her, "Are Kim Possible yes?"

Kim nodded. '_He's fourteen not five,'_ she reminded herself. "I am, are you Omi?"

"I am nice to make your acquaintance. Ronald speaks most highly of you," He bowed slightly from his sitting position.

"So I've heard," Kim said, shooting Ron a smile before she continued. "What're you watching Omi?"

"Watching?" The silver haired woman scoffed her tone haughty, "You mean riffing? Some kung-fu movie or another. Hard Boiled I think it is."

"Oh sweet!" Ron said hopping over the couch and landing next to Omi. "That's one of Chow-Yun Fat's better movies," He nodded to Omi. "Sup Bromi? I brought doughnuts!"

"Hello Ronald… What's a doughnut?" Omi asked innocently.

"Bromi… you're too pure! Too pure for this dark evil world!" Ron mock wept. "Ashley, doughnut stat!"

"The greater the light, the deeper the darkness Ronald," Omi said wisely.

Kim nodded at his words. '_He may be young, but he's wise,'_ Kim noted. "So Omi where do you come from?"

"I was raised in a Xiaolin Temple in the mountains of Tibet," Omi replied as he was handed an apple fritter by Ashley.

"Wow, and what did you do there?"

"Train in Yang-style taichiquan mostly." Omi replied. "I've been told I'm considered a tenth dan blackbelt in contemporary terms… though I do not fully know what that means."

Kim was stunned for a moment. "It means you're good… very good. Good enough to teach someone else the style if you wanted to," Kim explained.

Omi nodded. "Ah. Yes, I could do this. Oh come now, he should've been shot half a dozen times by now!" Omi complained.

"He's the protagonist Bromi, he has the most powerful armor in the universe…" Ron said sagely.

"The Two Ton Tunic?" Omi asked.

Ron shook his head. "No, plot armor. Since he is the protagonist of the show, it's highly unlikely he'll die no matter what stupidly dangerous situation he puts himself in."

Omi nodded. "Yes, I see… I wonder if I can get this… plot armor for myself."

Kim laughed a bit at that. "I don't think so Omi, in real life, there is no plot armor."

Ron folded his hands behind his head, "I dunno KP, we've gotten out of plenty of scrapes before that we really shouldn't have. Need I bring up the Spinning Tops of Doom and Senior Senior Senior?"

"Need I remind you, that you gave the idea to become a villain in the first place Ron?" Kim rebutted.

"You do not, but my point stands, we both go through and get out of a lot, simply because our foes always leave a big shiny red button laying around waiting to be pushed."

"You… have a point Ron," Kim admitted. "Usually you're the one hitting that button."

Ron waved his hand from side to side. "It's more fifty-fifty KP."

"So, what brings you three by, not that it's not nice to finally meet you Kim, and see you again Ron, Sanzang," Ashely asked leaning on the back of her couch.

In an unusual twist Ron spoke up for the group. "Well Ash, as you may or may not know KP is kinda a Superheroine. She has a website and everything."

"I'm aware… she's kinda the reason my aunt is in jail at the moment," Ashley said before adding quickly, "Not that I'm holding any grudges here, what she planned to do was insane, and while her living Cuddle Buddies were a marvel of modern genetics, it was still wrong."

"Yeah, I see you collect them too," Kim noted looking around at all the shelves."

"You too?!" Ashley said giddily smiling.

"Yeah!" Kim admitted.

"Oh gag me with a spoon why don't you?" The silver haired woman said.

Ashley scowled at the older woman. "Quiet Carrie."

Ron blinked, "Oh right, we never got your names ladies. I'm Ron, Ron Stoppable, and you are?"

The woman with pink hair beamed at Ron, "You may call me Mea Mizukume."

"Carrie Denever."

Ron pointed at the girl with pink hair. '_She's got strawberry blonde hair, not actually pink right?' _He asked himself before asking, "Your Japanese so last name first right?"

"Ron you went to Japan for a week and couldn't even figure that out?" Kim sighed.

"I learned _a lot _in that week KP, but all the ins and outs of the language was _not_ one of them!" Ron defended.

"Yes, that is correct. Call me Mizukume if you like," The pink-haired girl said brightly.

"Cool, cool, but like I was saying, we got a tip on the site that Bromi here was kidnapped and you took him… but he doesn't look kidnapped to me."

Ashley waved her hand from side to side, "Technically speaking I did kidnap him but only from his friends and mine."

"Umm, explain?" Kim all but demanded her green eyes going flinty as they locked onto Ashley.

"They kept saying she would steal my innocence, which I do not understand as I am quite innocent as my friend Kimiko tells me," Omi piped up.

"Wrong kinda innocence buddy," Ron said.

Omi nodded, "Yes, Jack Spicer said the same thing, I _still _do not know what that means."

"Sex," Ron stated bluntly.

"Ron!" Kim said sharply to her friend.

The blonde shrugged, "Someone had to tell him KP."

Omi still looked confused, "Is that like the hand holding, or seeing a girl naked because I have already done both of those things." A heavy silence descended upon the room and everyone turned to look at the monk. Who still looked as clueless as ever. "What? Was it something I said?"

Xanzang then spoke up, " Oh was that with the bathing and washing of backs. I asked Young Wukong to do that for me but he just got red in the face and told me to use the shower."

Kim turned to the blushing Ron. "Ron… is she staying at your house?"

"Yes… she is."

Kim's eyebrow twitched. "Yeah we need to set up some ground rules."

"Now is not the time to be discussing this KP. We were talking about preserving _Omi's _innocence, not mine!"

"Do not trip me under the bus!" Omi said.

Ron replied with, "In this situation Bromi, it's every man for himself."

Mizukume decided to lighten the situation and ask Omi calmly and sweetly, "Omi do you mind telling us _how and where _you saw a girl naked?"

"Ah yes," the young monk said, "I was asked by my Master, Master Fung to search my fellow apprentices at the temple for strange markings. My fellow apprentices Clay and Raimundo were marked and the last of us Kimiko had her marks right above her… ahem." Omi's whole head turned red and he refused to elaborate further.

"Boobs?" Ron guessed.

"Ron!" Kim hissed.

Again the blonde boy shrugged. "Kim, it's a guy thing okay? I am not gonna apologize for this."

Xanzang decided to speak up again and throw Ron under the bus, "While melons are delicious to Wukong he always told me he prefered peaches."

Kim narrowed her eyes, "Oh, I _bet_ he does."

Ron glared at Sanzang. "You're doing this on purpose aren't you?"

Sanzang tilted her head to the side in innocent confusion. "What do you mean?'

"You know exactly what I mean," Ron accused, pointing a finger at the Servant.

"So Omi-san saw Kimiko-chan topless ne?" Mizukume asked with a sly smile on her face. "How big were they?"

"Uh, I do not have a proper frame of reference?" Omi said.

"Use fruit," Ron suggested.

"Ron…" Kim said, running a hand down her face, "I'm seeing several new sides to you today. I'm not sure I like them all."

"Apples?" Omi said after a moment.

"_Nice," _Ron said before turning to Kim and saying, "Kim, I am sixteen years old, if I didn't act like this at least… Well let's just say while I have nothing against them, I'm not the Pride Parade type."

"Point," Kim acknowledged. "Just to clarify, Omi isn't being held captive is he?"

Upon hearing this, both Omi and Ashley burst out laughing. "You… you actually think I could hold Omi against his will?"

"I know! The very idea is ridiculous! No offense meant Ashley after all you don't have the Tangle Web Comb to tie me up."

"None… none taken Omi I completely agree!" Ashley said. "Omi may be small, but you know what they say, _big things come in small packages_." She purred.

Kim cocked her head to the side, "Tangle Web Comb?... Also double entendre much?"

"Intended _much_!" Ashely retorted.

Ron looked between Omi and Ashley for a moment before telling the young monk, "I dunno whether to pity you or be jealous Bromi."

"Jealous of what?" Omi asked cluelessly.

Ron just shook his head and sighed, "Too pure for this world, Bromi!"

* * *

"So let me see if I've got this straight," Valmont the blonde haired dark-skinned crime lord said as he paced in his lavish office front of an elderly scarecrow like man with a finely trimmed and waxed mustache in a black pinstripe suit. "You are _the_ James Moriarty, the Napoleon of Crime, from fiction?"

"Yes, that is correct," The man said with a taciturn nod. "Even I am pleasantly surprised to find that I and my nemesis are renowned the world over as the world's first fictional noir."

Valmont stopped and faced the man, "Continuing on, you have been summoned to fight alongside me in a deathmatch for a magical wish?"

"That is correct my good man," Moriarty nodded. "I'm sorry but could I bother you for some tea? Such discussions just don't feel right without it."

Valmont sighed, "Chow, go make some tea."

"Um, stereotyping much boss?" Chow retorted, his eyes as ever covered by his yellow jutting glasses, "Just because I'm chinese _does not _mean I know how to make tea."

Valmont ran a hand down his face. "You _just _came back from vacation in China, Chow."

"Yeah, and I was assaulted by a bunch of kids while visiting Momma Wu," Chow replied.

Valmont asked politely, "How is your darling mother doing Chow?"

Chow scoffed, "Same old same old. Stupid little brother keeps trying to overthrow her, but eh, it is what it is boss. Momma did send me back with the good stuff though."

"Cocaine?" Valmont questioned.

"Green tea," Chow replied.

Moriarty smiled upon hearing that. "That sounds lovely. If you would please be so kind as to brew us a pot Mister Chow, I would be most appreciative."

"Fine, fine, but only cause you asked nicely," Chow said walking off.

Ratso coughed to get Moriarty's attention, his suit as usual, crumpled and creased and that bandage was as always, stuck to the bridge of his nose as he spoke, "Um mister Moriarty sir, I recently read your thesis, and I gotta say, I was impressed."

Valmont, Hak Foo, and Finn all turned to stare at him. "What?" Ratso said, "I have a Masters degree in theoretical physics you know?"

Valmont blinked, "You do?!"

Ratso nodded, "Yeah, I just don't get to use it much. You hire me to hit things boss, not think."

Moriarty clapped his hands and grinned, "Ah a fellow professor, how wonderful! Tell me, what did you think?"

Ratso scratched the back of his head. "While entirely feasible, I think it's a bit… odd? Like what's the point of pulling off such a crime if no one is left alive to know you've done it?"

Chow came back with a tray of tea and a pot. Moriarty took a cup and toasted Ratso. "Exactly my dear fellow! It's a crime so flawlessly executed no one knows it happened."

Ratso nodded. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense, but again if you do manage to make an asteroid hit the Earth all of us, you included, would be dead."

Finn, the red headed irishman who looked like he just stepped out of the roaring 70's in his white suit and golden chain around his neck, asked, "Wow, Moriarty, dude, you serious?"

"Quite Mr. Fin. In fact, such a maneuver is my trump card of sorts," The Servant said with a smile.

"Wow, talk about killer," Finn deadpanned.

"And am I to assume this is why your class designation is Archer?" Valmont inquired.

Taking a sip of the tea Moriarty replied, "Yes, also expertly brewed Mr. Chow."

"Thanks, but we kinda need money, you being Napoleon of Crime and all… think you can help with that?"

"Chow!" Valmont snapped, "I don't need help!"

Chow looked at his boss over the rim of his prescription glasses. "Boss with all due respect, the only reason you still have this place is because your borrowing money from Momma Wu. It's only because she likes me that she hasn't already asked for repayment. Since we both know you don't have the cash, there's only one way she's getting her due… blood."

Valmont hissed through his teeth. "Damn!"

Folding his fingers in front of him Moriarty spoke civilly, "It seems to me, that you are having fiscal problems master."

"I wouldn't be having any problems at all if it wasn't for Chan and a backstabbing dragon Demon Sorcerer!"

Moriarty's eyebrow quirked, "Meddling in magic even _before_ my summoning? Foolish."

"Well, when a demon promises you the hidden treasure of the first Chinese Emperor you tend to listen!" Valmont snapped.

Moriarty held out his hands, "Peace Master, peace. It seems to me, that you have your own Holmes in the form of this Chan. If money is all you require then I could most certainly be of assistance." The grin the English gentleman was sporting was downright devious.

Valmont was soon sporting a similar grin. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Well all things come out in the wash as they say, let's make that truer than ever."

* * *

Jack Spicer Boy Genius was running all manner of tests on his Servant. Berserker as she liked to be called, was in every sense of the word, superhuman. Strong enough to bench press several thousand pounds, bullets did absolutely nothing to her and she quite literally _ate _lasers. He was currently doing a full body 3D xray on her and he was amazed her internals were a mass of cords, wires, flesh, organs, and crude electronics like one would expect to find in the nineteen hundreds. Lungs were connected to wires, eyes to copper sockets, her brain had hardwear attached to it. Despite all of this, one thing in particular was freaking Jack out…

"Um… Berserker… where is your heart?" Jack inquired.

In response Berserker brandished her mace. "In... mace."

Jack blinked. "What… who… why?! _Why_ is your heart in your _weapon_?!"

"Part of… Noble Phantasm… Suicide Attack… Blasted Tree," Berserker admitted.

Jack shook his head and waved his arms around. "Nononono! There will be no suicide attacks on my watch!" Jack pulled off the glove on his right hand revealing three lightning bolts striking the same point. "By the power of my Command Seal, I _forbid you _from using Blasting Tree without my express permission!"

Berserker nodded. "Very well… Master."

"Why would you do something so stupid Jack?" Wuya grated. "That is likely her most powerful ability. She may need to use it in an emergency."

"No point if she's dead," Jack rebutted. "We'd lose this 'Grail War' either way." He looked to his Servant. "With your permission Berserker, I'd like to make… some improvements. Your hardware could use some upgrades and if anyone could do it it's me, Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius!" Jack replied cockily thumbing at himself.

After a moment of silently staring at him, Berserker nodded slowly, "Very… well… Master. Berserker trusts… you."

Jack rubbed the back of his crimson hair. '_I can't remember the last time someone told me that.' _The Boy Genius thought to himself. He promised he wouldn't let Berserker's faith in him be misplaced. Be began pouring over the x-rays on the monitors looking over every piece that could be replaced or updated making notes and a list in a separate document. "Wuya have you ever seen anything like Berserker before?"

"She is similar to the Karakuri dolls, found in Wakou, what would be considered modern day Japan," Wuya commented. "She truly is a fascinating specimen. Like nothing I'd ever seen, and unless I miss my guess, she is capable of natural reproduction."

Jack nodded saying clinically. "Yeah, I noticed that too," Jack was now multitasking buying titanium, carbon fiber frames, and computer hardware with one hand, while he kept scrolling the x-ray pictures as he went. 'This is gonna take some time… and as much as I hate to admit it, I might be a tad out of my depth. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask for help.'

Going to his friends list, he clicked on the address, TruckerwithaWadeLoad . He then typed a quick email, attaching the x-rays and hit send.

Not even five minutes later Wade was requesting a video call. Jack put him through. "Sup Wade?"

"Dude, is this some kind of joke?" Wade asked seriously.

In response, Jack turned his monitor around to face his Servant. "Say hello to Wade, Berserker."

"Hello," Berserker said, holding her mace in both hands in front of her and bowing slightly.

Wade blinked. "Dude, you have a friggin gynoid!"

Jack sighed nodding, "I know it's weird and no I can't really tell you where I got her. It's… complicated. Can you help me update her specs? You're the only other person besides Porter I trust to help me with this."

Wade grinned before he cracked his knuckles. "Let's do this dude!"

* * *

Omi was on his third day at Ashely's place. He put on a blue cotton martial arts gi with a green and yellow quinlan reminiscent of Dojo on the front then threw his duster on over that along with the matching black pants before adding at Monique's insistence, some black leather sandals on his feet that wrapped around the back of his heel. '_I have to admit, these fit rather well,'_ Omi thought as he jumped around a bit in his new ensemble. "I also rather like this jacket, I look as Raimundo would say, stylin'."

"Yeah you totally do, morning Omi," Ashley said as she made her way into the kitchen for her rejuvenating first cup of coffee. She noticed her babies were already chowing down on cat food and she looked to her guest. "Awe, did you feed my babies for me?"

Omi nodded. "I have taken the liberty since I was up. I must warn you however that mother is in the kitchen and will let none enter on pain of death."

Ashley blinked at that. "Caster…" She called, is everything alright in there?"

"Mikon! Everything is fine, I'm just making breakfast! What kind of a mother would I be if I didn't cook?" Caster called back.

Ashley didn't know what to say to that, after all, her mother never cooked. "Um, can I come in and get my morning coffee? I'm kinda not me before I get it."

"Sure, sure, just don't let Érzi in, this is supposed to be a surprise." Caster replied.

Ashley laughed a little, "Looks like that pain of death bit only applied to you little guy."

Omi nodded, "So it seems… though now I'm very curious as to what she is doing in there," Omi said as he snuck towards the door… only for a wooden spoon to zip out of the crack and playfully swat at him.

"Ah ah ah, no peeking Érzi," Caster called out teasingly.

"Don't worry Omi," Ashley said, "I'll have a look around and report back."

"No you _won't_!" The Servant replied before a small walking paper figure came walking out of a small gap in the door bearing a plate that had two cups on it, one filled with proper green tea, the other with black coffee.

"Ho, shikigami! I have heard of such things, but never seen them," Omi said imporessed.

"There is _much _you have yet to see Érzii," Caster commented. "Some of which I _could teach _I suppose," Though Omi and Ashley could tell the Servant sounded less than thrilled about that last idea.

"Well, you don't have to if you are not comfortable with it," Omi called out.

Suddenly the door was pushed open and Caster came out carrying a tray almost buckling with the amount of food piled onto it. "We can talk about such things later, right now, it's time for a traditional chinese breakfast!"

Caster laid everything out on Ashley's glass table and the two looked at everything with interest. Once she was finished, Caster began pointing to each individual thing on the table. "Here we have soybean milk and deep fried dough sticks," she pointed to what looked like milk and chiros to Ashley, "Steamed buns stuffed with pork," Caster pointed to pale white doughy rolls, before she switched to a bowl full of rice pudding, "Tofu pudding," Then to two different kinds of noodles, "Wheat and Rice noodles I didn't know which you'd prefer so I did both, some glutinous rice, rice porridge also known as congee in China, pancakes and eggs, and last but not least morning tea with Dim Sum which is essentially all of this," Caster gestured to all the food on the table.

"Where… where did you even get the ingredients for all of this?" Ashley asked.

"Fufufu, a mother always has her ways," Caster said mischievously before clapping her hands and saying to Omi in particular, "Well, what're you waiting for? Dig in, dig in!"

Omi did so, reaching for an extra cup of tea, the pork buns, and wheat noodles. He took a bite of the bun and smiled. "It is delicious!"

Caster smiled triumphantly, eyes closed and arms crossed. "Naturally! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day after all!"

"Wow, this is good!" Ashley complimented her friend's Servant. "If she cooks like this Omi, you might just need to use a Command Spell on her to make sure she does so all the time. These pork buns… my god..."

"Fufufu. Caster is magical in more ways than one, Mikon!" said Servant bragged happily as she filled her own plate.

"Do you think we could possibly send some of this to Ronald and Sanzang?" Omi asked. "I think they might enjoy it."

"Such a sweet, kindhearted Érzi I have!" Caster said, sniffling a little, clearly happy as she filled a couple of plates with a little bit of everything before she waved one of her tails over them, and just like that, they were gone. Omi could almost swear he heard a "Booya!" in the distance later that morning, but he couldn't be entirely sure. After he was finished eating he turned to Ashley and made a simple request. "Ashley I was wondering if I might borrow the Golden Tiger Claws for a moment?"

Hearing this caused Ashley to pout a bit. "Don't tell me you wanna leave early cutie? I thought we had a deal?"

Omi nodded. "We do and I don't intend to leave for long, I would just like to get my Guzheng from my room back at the Temple."

The thief blinked. "Oh, is that all? Well, I suppose that's fine. I wouldn't mind hearing you play either. Wait right here." Ashley got up and went to her room, she returned moments later with the Shen Gong Wu in question. She handed it to the little monk handle first but didn't let the blades go as she asked, "You _are _going to come back, _right_?"

Omi just looked up at her and smiled, "What does your heart tell you?"

The thief let go of the Shen Gong Wu with a smirk, "You'll be back," She gave a slight twirl then moved her hands down her body slowly, "There's no way you can stay away from _all this _for too long."

"You are a good friend," Omi said, once again completely missing the point.

Ashley sighed a little, "Just get going you adorable little monk."

"_Golden Tiger Claws_!" Omi called out before slashing and jumping through the portal he created.

Once he was gone, Ashely huffed, "Why are the cute ones always so dense?"

"Maybe you need to be more direct?" Caster opioned. "Try smooching him on the lips?" she suggested.

Ashley laughed, "That would probably make his brain shut down if I did that!"

Caster nodded, "Yes but once it rebooted, he would _most certainly_ understand your feelings."

The blonde sighed a little, "Yeah, you're not wrong… I'm surprised you're talking so openly about this."

"What mother _doesn't _want her son to be happy?" Caster replied before the portal opened up and Omi popped back out black wooden case under one arm, prematurely ending the conversation.

"So that's it huh?" Ashley asked nodding towards the case.

"Indeed, getting it was easy. I was able to appear directly into my room and no one even noticed I was there. Here you are," Omi said, handing the Golden Tiger Claws back to her.

"Thanks Omi… for coming back like you said you would," Ashley said, truly grateful that someone in her life wasn't a liar.

"It is no problem," The monk replied before adding, "I would like to go check out this Highschool that Ronald and Kimberly go to if at all possible."

"We can stop by around four in the afternoon or so, school should let out by then," Ashley said "Whaddya wanna do until then?"

Omi tapped his chin, "Hmm, is there perhaps a park nearby? It is a nice day and I would like to practice my taichquan outside if that's alright?"

Ashley nodded. "I know just the place. Gimme some time and I can pack a picnic lunch for the both of us."

"You mean three of us!" Caster corrected, "And I'm already on it!"

The thief made her way into her kitchen. "Um Caster no offense but I kinda wanna do this by _myself_, if you take my meaning?"

Caster who was already in the midst of making sandwiches twitched her fox ears before she turned and replied, "Ah, I see… they _do say_ the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Very well potential-future-daughter-in-law-number-two! I wish you the best of luck!"

"Whose number one?!" Ashley called after her as the Servant left the kitchen.

"Kimiko Tohmiko of course, and so far, she's in the lead! Bold that girl, willing to bare her skin like that," Caster replied before leaving her alone in the kitchen.

Ashley huffed. "Number two? I'll show her number two!" Ashley said as she stepped up to the half finished sandwiches.

* * *

The sun was shining brightly in a clear blue sky in Middleton Park when Omi and Ashley arrived. Caster set out a white and red checkered blanket beneath the shade of an oak tree before she and Ashley settled on the blanket. Ashely was carrying a book and Omi's Wuzheng under her arm as she sat down. Omi for his part shed his coat and blue top leaving his surprisingly muscular torso bare as he began to run through the motions of Yang-style taichiquan.

Ashley licked her lips when she saw Omi topless. '_Kitty like, kitty like a lot,'_ She thought.

"Do you need a napkin?" Caster asked her, a titter of laughter in her tone, "Because you're starting to drool."

Dabbing at her mouth with the back of her hand, Ashley looked away. "I'd love to have me a slice of that beefcake."

"Fufufu, the years of training have been kind to my Érzi, it is true," Caster commented as she watched Omi go through his routine.

Omi was in his element, his body almost mechanically moving from one form to the next, his body fluid, his muscles relaxed. He was so focused on what he was doing that he was paying no attention to what was going on around him. He gave the growing crowd recording him with their phones no notice, nor the sweat growing on his body. For he had lost himself in the kata's of his style. Omi never noticed when small children started to imitate his movements or the 'awes' this brought from the crowd.

He got _everyone's_ attention when globules of water began to condense around his fists.

Omi had seamlessly began using his chi in coordination with his kung-fu, the tendrils of water flowed out from his arms and formed intricate shapes, from octopus arms to gyroscopes of swirling water whose edges hardened to razor sharp ice. Omi ended his routine by clapping his hands together and sending all of the water flying up into the air, where it evaporated into mist.

Only then, did Omi notice everyone staring. He gave a meek little wave. "Oh, hello there. I am Omi, nice to meet you all." Silence hung in the air for a moment before the crowd of onlookers started clapping, causing the young monk to bashfully shake his head. "Umm your welcome? Though I am not sure what for?"

Ashley forced her way through the crowd. "That was amazing cutie! You… that was magical."

"I… see. I'm glad you liked my routine," Omi said before he caused a small waterfall of water to fall on top of him removing the sweat from his body. "Now, I am hungry. Time for lunch I think." Omi bowed politely to the crowd before walking away to the picnic blanket where his, he supposed, pseudo-mother sat. She clapped her hands thrice for him before folding them at an angle near her face "Well done Érzi! That was an excellent display of chi manipulation and water control!"

Omi bowed respectfully. "Thank you mother. What do we have for lunch?"

Caster covered her mouth with one arm of her furisode. "Perhaps you should ask Ashley as she prepared today's meal?"

Omi looked at her questioningly, "Ashley?"

"I made deli sandwiches, turkey club for you cutie," Ashley said handing Omi a rye turkey bacon, tomato and mayo club.

Ashley handed another to the Servant. "Egg salad for Caster."

"Mmm, egg salad!" Caster said.

"Lastly, a tuna melt for me," the thief said a bit sullenly for reasons neither of them understood. "I also have a thermos full of tea."

The trio ate in silence enjoying their meal and once again, the legend of the 'Kung-Fu Kid' grew yet larger… not that Omi was aware he _had _a legend at all.

* * *

"Okay girls, let's do this!" Kim said trying to get her fellow cheerleaders motivated for practice.

"Like, whatever Possible," Bonnie said, rolling her eyes as she glanced at her nails.

Kim bit back a nasty retort. Bonnie was, as ever, being uncooperative. "Just once Bonnie could you do as you're told without back talk?"

"Why would I do that?" The brunette retorted.

"You can catch more fish with decent bait Bonnie," A wise voice replied.

All the cheerleaders looked to the indoor bleachers where Omi was sitting, he waved at Kim, Tara, and Bonnie.

"Bromi! What up little dude?!" Ron said, his face covered by his Mad Dog mask as he ran up the bleachers.

"Hello Ronald, is that you in there?" Omi asked, unsure as the mask distorted his voice somewhat.

Ron pulled the mask up, "It's me dude, I'm the Middleton Mad Dog!" Ron hit the secret button on his mask causing it to foam banana cream as he shook his head. "AWHOO!"

"Ronald… you are getting goop all over my guzheng!" Omi said, raising his voice.

"Oh crap! KP help!" Ron said backing up when he saw he'd upset the little powerhouse monk.

With a couple of handstanding front flips Kim had herself between her best friend and the admittedly cute little monk. "Ron, you drenched his guzheng!"

"His wah?" Ron asked.

"It's a twenty-five hundred year old instrument Stoppable. I had hoped that while you were away in Japan you might've educated yourself on culture!" The unmistakable burly bark of Mr. Barkin came from the Gym doors.

"Hey Mister B," Ron said, wincing a bit as the man stalked forwards in his usual brown tweed suit.

He took one look at Omi and gave him a single nod of respect. "Sergeant Leroy 'Kronk' Barkin, and you are?"

"Omi… Xiaolin Monk," Omi said with a bow.

"May I?" He asked for the instrument. When he handed it over Barkin gingerly took a cloth handkerchief out of his pocket and began wiping the banana cream off the instrument. When he uncovered a bronze pheasant on one side. "MY. GOD!"

"What is it?" Ron asked a feeling of dread setting into his stomach.

"See this pheasant? That marks it as something created under royal decree likely by the Zhou Dynasty… this guzheng is ancient, and you just covered it in _banana cream _Stoppable!"

"Oh… Oh God _no_!" Ron said, eyes widened in horror.

Barkin glared at the blonde, "That's right Stoppable, you outright ruined an antique! Heck, this thing belongs in a museum, how'd you even get ahold of it?" Barkin asked Omi.

"A merchant hauling a cart appeared at the Temple gates one day, nine years ago. He had the guzheng in its case he traded it for some rice and a prayer I believe."

"Oh, so it _was_ in a museum," Barkin noted. "Good _job_ Stoppable, just ruin a national treasure why don't you! I should have you drop and gimme fifty right now!"

Omi shook his head. "There is no need," He reached out with his chi and pulled. The dampness and moisture was pulled out of the strings, and off the lacquered wood. He then promptly flung the blob of gunk into Ron's face. "I said Ron made a mess, I never said I couldn't fix it."

"So you hit me in the face with banana cream why?" Ron asked as he wiped it off of his face, not at all surprised by the idea of Omi desert manipulating unlike everyone else, he was a consummate nerd.

"Karma Ronald, karma," Omi replied.

Kim held her hands out, "Okay, hold on, back up, what the h-e-double hockey sticks was that just now?"

"Just some simple chi manipulation, Kimberly, nothing too strenuous," Omi replied.

"Call me Kim, Omi," The copper redhead requested, before she continued, "And this is _so_ a big deal! You just manipulated liquid like it was nothing!"

Omi nodded, "Yes, I did, and?"

Tara made her way up the bleachers and sat down next to Omi. "That's not normal… It's totally cool though!"

"It isn't?" Omi sounded genuinely surprised to learn this.

"Omi… What exactly did they teach you in that Tibetan temple of yours?" Kim asked.

"Yang-style taichiquan as it is in tune with my element of water, also meditation and how to manipulate my own chi flow."

Kim blinked and nodded. "Yeah but… chi is just a martial arts concept. It's not a _real _thing!... Is it?"

"Kim, science still has things it cannot explain yes?" Omi asked while silently reaching out for the water in the air, drawing it into his palm.

The teen hero nodded. "Yes, but… Chi? Really?"

When a sphere of water roughly the size of a human head materialized above Omi's hand, he questioned, "Kim, just because you can't prove something doesn't exist, does that mean it _does not _exist?"

Tara gently poked at the sphere of water with a tentative finger, a look of childlike awe on her face. "Wow, so cool!"

With a twitch of his fingers, the sphere became disc flat, then froze taking buzzsaw like edges. Another twitch of his fingers, and Omi was holding a jian made of solid ice in his hands. He gave it a few expert twirls before tossing it over his shoulder the makeshift weapon disappeared into steam.

"That's cool," Bonnie commented.

Ron couldn't help but quip. "Ice, ice, baby!"

Bonnie shook her head, "Vanilla Ice Stoppable, really? That's _so_ last generation."

Ron shrugged, "Seemed appropriate."

"I know not what this vanilla ice is, but it sounds delicious!" Omi declared.

All of the cheerleaders broke out into a fit of laughter upon hearing this. Tara scooped Omi up into her arms and hugged him, "You are just too precious Omi!"

"Too pure for this world!" Ron said again. It was a mantra he would find himself using for Omi quite a bit.

"I'm inclined to actually agree with Stoppable for once," Bonnie said. Seeing the blonde looking around, she asked, "What're you doing Stoppable?"

"Looking around for the flying pig! You agreeing with me is as likely as seeing one!" Ron called back.

"Alright people LISTEN UP!" Barkin barked, "Now that it seems Stoppable hasn't ruined a priceless antique and national treasure of Tibet, I suggest you all get back to work! Possible, I'll leave you to it."

"Yes sir, Mr. Barkin sir!" Kim said, giving a mock salute.

"Haha, funny Possible, you should leave the humor to Stoppable," Barkin rumbled, before turning to Omi and saying in a softer rumble. "I have a request if you don't mind?"

"Yes, Mister Barkin?" Omi asked kindly.

"Do you think you could play something on that before I go? I haven't heard anything similar to it since my time in My Lai back when I was in Vietnam."

Omi smiled and bowed. "It would be my honor."

_(__平湖秋月 __\- __古筝 __Guzheng: Autumn Moon over the Calm Lake __Guzheng Cover by SoundsofChina Guzheng)_

Everyone stood entranced for the next five minutes and change as Omi plucked and pressed on the strings on his instrument. All except Caster who performed an elegant dance as her son played his song, her body swaying to the rhythm of the slow hypnotic tempo, dipping almost to the floor at points only to rise like the sun. When both the song and the dance ended, everyone in the gym clapped at the impromptu performance.

Bakrin wiped a tear away from his eye. "Beautiful. Thank you so much for that. It eases the scars on this old veteran's heart."

"You are most welcome Mister Barkin," Omi said with a bow. The monk then turned to Kim, "Ah, Kimberly I meant to ask the other day, but who exactly sent the request to find me?"

"Gimme one sec Omi and I'll tell you, and it's Kim," The red headed heroine reminded him. '_He must not be used to nicknames.'_ she thought as she pulled out her Kimunicator that she had clipped to her cheerleading skirt she quickly got a hold of Wade, though he looked a bit preoccupied at the moment.

"Hey Kim what's up?" Wade said in a half distracted tone.

"Hey Wade, I'm not interrupting anything important am I?" Kim asked.

The boy genius shook his head, "No just helping a friend with a delicate procedure as best I can from here. What did you need?"

"I wanted to know who sent in that request the other day? It turns out it was a false alarm." Kim replied.

"One sec," Wade did some typing and moments later replied, "The request was issued by Tohomiko Kimiko, youngest daughter of Tohomiko Electronics CEO Toshiro Tohomiko."

Kim blinked in surprise and looked at Omi, "You know Toshiro Tohomiko's daughter?" Though Kim had connections she wasn't as well connected as the Tohomiko's. They could probably walk right into the Chinese Emperors palace if they wanted to.

"Kimiko? Yes she and I are good friends. She came to train at the temple." Omi replied.

Ron leaned in close and whispered to Omi, "Isn't she the same girl you saw topless?"

Omi blushed, "Yes."

Kim shot Ron a look that said 'shut up' before she told Omi gently, "You should probably call her and let her know you're alright, she's probably worried about you."

Omi nodded. "Yes, and I would do just that, but I do not know her number nor do I possess a cellular phone."

Wade was quick to the rescue though. "Here you go dude, I'm dialing her now. You can use the Kimmunicator."

Omi bowed in thanks. "Thank you very much Wade."

"No problem dude," Wade said as the Kimmunicator started to ring.

Upon the third ring Kimiko's voice came through the phone. "Hello?"

"Kimiko? It is Omi."

"OMI!" She all but screamed into the phone. "Are you alright? Did Kim Possible manage to get you away from that crazy cat girl?"

Omi held the Kimmunicator away from his ear when Kimiko yelled. "Yes and no?"

Kimiko's voice came out sharp as a razorblade. "Explain!"

"Ashley is not a bad person, Kimiko she is just… eccentric."

"Oh, so it's _Ashley_ now is it?" Kimiko asked an emotion Omi couldn't identify in her tone.

Omi nodded though she couldn't see it. "At her insistence yes. She wished to do the hanging out with me and I saw no point in saying no as she wasn't doing anything bad… Also I have no way of getting home and do not know the area I am in."

Static filled the line as Kimiko sighed, "Good points Omi. So she hasn't tried anything then?"

Omi cocked his head to the side. "I do not know what you mean?"

Kimiko sighed in relief. "I'll take that as a no then, thank goodness."

"Is that chromedome?" Raimundo's voice echoed in the background.

"Raimundo shut up!" Kimiko snapped, "Also, yes, it is! He managed to call."

"Is the little fella alright?" Clay asked.

Again, Omi heard Kimiko sigh. "He's fine guys, apparently _Ashley_ just wanted to hang out with him for a bit."

"That little traitor is sleeping with the enemy!" The Dragon of Wind accused.

"I have _not_! I have my own room in her apartment!" Omi rebutted. "It is quite large and there is no need for us to share one bed."

"Figure of speech melon head!" Raimundo retorted, before the sound of Raimundo having the wind knocked out of him was heard.

"Omi," Kimiko asked worriedly, "When are you coming back to the temple?"

"By the end of the week Kimiko, I shall be returning with the Golden Tiger Claws then," Omi told his friends.

Once again, Kimiko sighed in relief. "Okay then, that's just a few more days. Omi stick by Kim whenever possible. Just because you think Katnappe is nice doesn't mean she isn't up to something, sometimes people act nice to get what they want."

Omi nodded. "I understand Kimiko and I will endeavour to stay by Kimberly's side whenever possible but I think Ashely is a good person at heart."

"I hope you're right, Omi, stay safe. See you soon. We have a lot to talk about when we meet up."

"Yes, we do, goodbye Kimiko," Omi said before the line went dead.

Handing the Kimmunicator back to Kim, he said, "Thank you for allowing me to reassure my friends of my safety. They would like me to stick with you whenever possible though," Omi bowed, "I apologize in advance for any inconvenience this may cause you Kimberly."

Kim waved off his apology. "It's no big, you can totally hang out at my place. The Tweebs would love to meet you." She considered correcting him on her name again, but decided against it. '_Besides I think it's just his way, to address people by their full first name. Plus, it's not like I really mind.' _She turned to the Squad, "I think we should just call todays practice a wash girls, but we all can't say we haven't learned anything, right?"

Everyone nodded even Bonnie. Tara who usually just went with the flow said, "Maybe we can incorporate some of his friends' dance and Omi's music into our routine Kim."

"Not a bad idea at all Tara, if Mizukume would be willing to show us the steps of course?" Kim called out.

"That depends, do I get a uniform?" Caster asked mirth twinkling in her eyes.

"Please say yes." Ron almost begged, earning him a slap in the arm from Kim and Tara.

Kim called out, "I'm sure we can find a spare to fit you."

"Yatta!" Caster cheered, "Then I'm your girl! Mikon!"

"Like oh my gosh, she even has her own catchphrase," Tara squealed. "Who is she?"

Omi cleared his throat before he replied, "She is my adoptive mother after a fashion."

Tara covered her mouth blushing a bit, and so did Kim. Neither had any idea that Mizukumi was Omi's maternal figure. '_She looks young enough to be our age!'_ Kim, Tara, and Bonnie thought at the same time.

"Oh _crap_!" Ron said paling and putting a hand over his suddenly stuttering heart. "All that stuff I said in front of her the other day."

Seeming to somehow hear him, the girl called out, "Boys will be boys Ronald! Besides, érzi needs more normal male interaction."

"Thank Adoni," Ron sighed in relief.

"_Beep-boo-boo-Beep"_

The sound of the Kimmunicator going off got Kim's attention. "What's the sitch Wade?"

"Hey Kim, I've just got word that Drakken is trying to take over Canada… again," Wade said.

Kim rolled her eyes, "What is this, like the third time now? What is it with Drakken and Canada?"

"Maybe he just really likes maple syrup KP?" Ron opined as the two made their way out of the gym the little monk and his adoptive mother following in their wake.

"Yes Ron, I'm _sure _that's it," Kim drawled as they went to change into their mission gear. When they came back out of their respective bathrooms, they found Omi and Misukume waiting for them. Kim raised an eyebrow, "Um, what's up you two?"

"We are coming with you." Omi said, "My friends wanted me to stick close to you as you'll recall?"

Kim blinked. They did say that, and she did say it would be no problem, but what she didn't account for was a mission popping up. '_Well, it's not like Omi can't handle himself,' _She mused. '_I just need to keep him away from Shego and he should be fine. Heh he can probably take on Shego with that magic kung-fu of his.' _

"Okay you can come with... " Kim got on her Kimmunicator. "Wade quick question; do you think you can get a kids sized version of our mission gear on our ride?"

Wade blinked, "Yeah, no problem, but why?"

"Omi's coming with," Kim replied succently.

Wade grinned a bit at that. "Ohh, Shego is in for it huh?"

Kim smirked a bit herself. "Probably," She replied as a private jet proceeded to descend from the sky making to land in the field across from the school.

Omi looked amazed. "Does such a thing happen often to you and Ronald Kimberly?"

"Well, we've done a lot of favors for people so they're kind enough to help us out when we need a ride. C'mon let's get going," Kim said before she asked her techie, "Wade, why exactly do you just so happen have mission gear in Omi's size ready and waiting to go?"

Wade shrugged. "Well Kim, I always considered you might need Jim or Tim's help on a mission at some point, so I prepped some gear just in case."

"That is… weirdly sweet and forward thinking of you Wade. As usual, you rock!" Kim said as she and the others ascended the stairs into the jet. Canada and Drakken, awaited them.

* * *

**Word Count: 24,563** **Number of Pages: 60** **Date Completed: 3/15/2020**

* * *

**AN: Hello all and welcome to the second chapter of Xiaolin Grail War, some more pieces are on the board now, but still not all of them… that'll come later, rather than sooner. And now, I'll hand the mic over to my Friendly Neighborhood Beta Snowy for a bit.**

**Appreciate our work as we slowly die from working. This ch. Has revealed some of the major players the only question is who else will be summoned and what other secrets are hidden in this world.**

**Well said Snowy, and what secrets we hold! All will be revealed… in due time. Till then, I hope you all enjoyed the chap remember to read and review, and till next time, this has been a Bubbajack and IcySnowSage Production! Peace!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Xiaolin Grail War**

**By: Bubbajack**

**Beta/Co-Author: IcySnowSage**

**Disclaimer:** **We don't own Xiaolin Showdown, Jackie Chan Adventures, or Kim Possible. They all belong to Disney at this point (I think), with Fate/Stay Night being owned by Type-Moon.**

**Ch.3: Dunces and Dunes**

* * *

"Thanks again for the ride Mr. Cooper," Kim said as she put on her parachute.

The man in the cockpit flying the private jet gave her a thumbs up. "Well, I figured I owed you one after you stopped those hijackers from taking my planes eh?"

"Oh, it was no big," Kim downplayed the event as she always did. Turning around when Omi came out of the bathroom wearing form fitting mission gear. '_He's quite cut,'_ Kim noted as the black shirt hugged the monk's torso so closely it outlined his muscular torso. Noting he looked a bit nervous, Kim put a hand on his shoulder asking softly, "Everything okay Omi?"

"I admit, I have never been on, or jumped out of a plane… or needed to use a parachute," The monk admitted.

Kim nodded, she figured that was the case. "You don't need to worry about that Omi. I can just attach you to my harness." Kim was kind enough to simply attach him to her parachute so he didn't have to worry about any of that. Omi shouted in joy as he and the copper red heroine free fell from such a great height the wind whipping by his face and whistling in his ears. The air may be Raimundo's element, but Omi had to admit he was enjoying himself immensely at the moment. Then there was a slight jerk from behind and then their descent slowed as the parachute broke their fall. They landed on the side of Squaw's Tit Mountain where Dr. Drakken's latest lair was located, carved into the very mountainside. Kim landed and quickly unhooked the young monk.

Omi looked around while the chill of the snow blasted wind made him shiver, but only a bit, water was his element after all thus the cold didn't bother him anyways. "Where is Ronald, Kimberly?"

Kim pointed up and couldn't help from sighing, "Up there."

Omi followed her pointing finger and blink. "Ronald… how did your pants fall down?"

For Ron's pants had fallen down mid-jump revealing he wore purple and green polka dotted boxers. "Just, just don't ask Bromi. This happens _all the dang time _on missions."

Omi nodded. "Might I suggest investing in a sturdy leather belt my friend?"

Ron pulled up his pants as he landed. "Wait where's Mizukume?" The pink haired-girl landed right next to Ron never bothering to even put on a parachute.

Kim blinked, mouth agape, "Omi isn't the only one with super powers is he Mizukume?"

The older girl just smiled at Kim sweetly, "Not telling, Mikon."

Kim laughed a little, "Fine, you keep your secrets." The group turned towards the cave they landed in front of and a couple of feet into the mountainside was a thick circular metal door. The entrance to Drakken's latest lair.

"Is it bad that I want you to say, Avengers Assemble KP?" Ron joked trying to get rid of his nerves.

Kim rolled her eyes, "Please, Steve Rodgers I am _so not_. You're the blonde of the group Ron, if anyone should be saying that it's you."

"True," Ron agreed, before he gave Kim a sideways glance, "You could pull off a _nice_ Black Widow Kim. If anyone could pull off that leather outfit, it would be you."

"Ron!" Kim said slapping him on the arm. "We should be focusing on finding a way inside don't you think?"

Ron walked over and kicked a vent. It fell over. "Way ahead of ya KP."

"Umm, why don't we just go through the front door?" Omi inquired.

Ron blinked. "Well, because we don't have two tons of explosives Bromi."

Omi walked up to the circular door, the dots on his brow glowing ominously. "You do not need explosives Ronald. The point of Yang-style Taichiquan is force without effort," Omi said as water collected around his head, the massive blob growing by the second as well as moving back and forth as the young monk swayed his arms back and forth.

"KP," Ron asked, as they watched the massive amount of water gain weight and momentum, "What's Bromi doing?"

"I can't be sure Ron, but believe he's creating a water pressure cutter, and he's going to use it to slice a hole clean through the door," Kim replied.

Mizukume decided to add her own two cents, "My Erzi is very powerful and talented along with being well mannered. I feel so proud of him."

With one last sway of his arms, Omi flung the many gallons of water directly at a single point at the door, it struck a singular point at first only for the water and pressure made an opening that appeared to widen as more, and more water ripped the metal apart like an M80 stuck inside a tin can.

He turned and smiled at the stunned Kim and Ron. "There, we may proceed through the entrance now."

"KP?" Ron said as they walked through the metal rent entranced and past several waterlogged and groaning Henchco henchmen.

"Yeah Ron?" Kim asked as she stepped around a few groaning goons giving one a swift kick to the head when he tried to push himself to his knees.

"Bromi is pretty dangerous isn't he? Plus, he doesn't even seem to realize it."

Kim nodded. "Yes, he is, and no, he doesn't."

Ron, hands in his pockets as he walked, commented, "Still, I think we should bring him on missions more often KP, he makes it a lot easier and safer too."

"Ron!" Kim chastised, "Omi shouldn't come with us just because it's convenient for _us_!"

"I really wouldn't mind," Omi said, as he looked around making the two heroes jump a bit, they didn't know how keen his hearing was.

"Um Bromi, how much did you hear?" Ron called.

Everything," Omi replied, "I did not realize my Taichiquan could be dangerous. I was just trying to be helpful," The little monk said as he kicked in the door to what turned out to be a break room. It was empty. Mizukume was gushing in the background about how strong and skilled her Erzi was.

"And you have been Omi," Kim assured the little monk. "Very helpful, it's just you cut through five inches of titanium back there and it's as awe inspiring as it is terrifying for someone to be able to do that."

Omi snorted, "That was nothing."

Ron and Kim blinked and looked at each other before Ron asked, "Whaddaya mean Bromi?"

"There are times… in particular when I meditate, that I feel as if I'm just touching the surface of some immense power. It's like I'm skirting over the top of a half frozen lake, and a reservoir of strength lays untapped just below the surface. Yet whenever I try to touch it, just like trying to cup water in one's palms, it eludes me," Omi said in clear frustration.

"There, there, Erzi, the Great Wall of China was not built in a day. You will understand whatever it is that evades you, in time," Mizukume told him, her hands clapping him on the shoulders encouragingly and pulling him into a hug.

"You know," A slightly sinister voice drawled, "You don't usually come in through the front door Kimmie… or flood the place. What's with the new MO?"

Kim turned around to find Shego standing in the breakroom doorway smirking. Her green and black domino outfit standing out sharply against the basic breakroom white plastics and hard countertops.

Seeing the two extra's the villainess blinked, "What's with the kid Kimmie? Did you get a call in the middle of a babysitting job or something?"

"No Shego, Omi's the one who put a hole in the door," Kim replied while taking up a combat stance.

Shego searched the cheerleaders face for any form of lie, finding none she fixed her gaze on the little monk who was smiling and waving at her sheepishly. "Hello pretty lady, my name is Omi what's yours?"

Shego quirked an eyebrow, '_Pretty?'_ "Shego kiddo, and did you really put a hole in the door?"

Omi nodded. "Indeed, it was a simple application of water pressure."

"That right?" Again Shego sensed and saw no deception coming from the kid, but it could just be because he was an innocent kid not even capable of realizing she was the bad guy.

"Correct." Omi replied, "Would you like a demonstration?" The small boy asked seemingly innocently but the slight smirk on his face said otherwise.

Shego lit her hands with plasma on instinct. "Don't play games with me kiddo, you might get burned."

"Omi…" Kim said warningly.

Omi just continued to smile as the faucet in the breakroom turned on all by itself. "I think you need to… chill out."

Without warning the boy flung the water at her with his chi while freezing it the moment it came into contact with her face, blinding her for a moment. He also ripped all the cans and water bottles out of the nearby machine, causing them to burst and form a multicolored torrent of liquid, consisting of soda, water, and coffee that was twice Omi's size. The young monk proceeded to throw icicles at Shego and she threw herself around the corner as the shards of ice impaled themselves into the wood and plaster of the wall.

"Okay, you've got skills kiddo, you're special like me. This is gonna be fun!" Shego called to him, a grin in her tone.

"It would be my honor to school you Miss Shego," Omi said, giving her a little bow even though she couldn't see it.

"We'll see who schools who, you cocky little brat!" Shego called out as she chucked a ball of plasma behind the door only for a whip of water to meet it halfway, causing it to fizzle out.

"Hmm, I do believe this is what is called a Texas Standoff, yes?"

"Mexican actually, and yes!" Shego called back.

"He was off by one state, cut him some slack!" Ron called out.

"I'd rather cut him in_ half_ Ron!" The villainess called back

"You know my name?" Ron said, baffled.

Shego rolled her eyes. "Duh, it's not that hard."

To which the blonde rebutted, "Then why can't Drakken remember it?!"

"Beat's me, you'd need to ask Dr. D that."

"SHEGO!"

'_Speak of the devil and he appears,'_ The villainess thought.

The blue mad scientist stomped down the hall in a huff "Why is this place soaked? We're on top of a _mountain_! I _did not_ pay for flood insurance for that _very reason_! I swear if Larry has backed up the toilet again, he is getting a one star review and Hench and I are going to be having words about the men he employs!"

Shego shuddered as she remembered the time Larry caused a toilet to flood after eating too many Naco's… the stench was the stuff of nightmares. She had to replace her entire wardrobe and couldn't eat at Bueno Nacho for a while after that. "No Dr. D, Possible has some extra tagalongs this time and one of em is like me."

"What?" Drakken shook his head. "What're you talking about Shego?" The blue scarfaced scientist looked into the breakroom… The moment he laid eyes on Omi and in particular the pink-hair woman behind him his demeanor abruptly changed. His usually exuberant maniacal smile slid off of his face, his face became cold and emotionless. He stopped hunching ever so slightly and stood up entirely straight, and placed his small hands behind his back, clasping them together and he spoke in a clipped, detached, cold tone. "Ah, I see. Shego, we need to leave, _now_."

Shego blinked. It's like someone just flipped a switch and triggered something in her eccentric boss to suddenly pull a one-eighty personality-wise. "Dr… Dr.D?"

"We need to leave _now _Shego!" Drakken barely raised his voice, but the command was there, sharp and clear. "Collect the men from HenchCo and go get the hovercraft ready, I'll activate the self-destruct."

"Wait, what… What's going on?" Shego asked, she'd never in all the time she'd worked for him seen Drakken act this cold or collected before.

Drakken glanced at her and his gaze chilled her to the bone. It was almost like he was looking _through_ her like she was little more than an animal, something to be put on a slab and dissected, like she was a frog in a school science lab. "I don't have time to explain, not here, not now, just go and do as you're told. I'll explain everything later. You deserve that much for such loyal service to me."

Shego nodded. "I'll be holding you to that Dr. D," Shego said as she walked off.

Kim too was freaked out by the sudden change in Drakken demeanor. "Drakken?"

"You're playing with forces you can't even begin to understand Kimberly, Ronald. I would _highly _suggest you leave, quickly, and forget all about that boy, and the girl with him," Drakken suggested in a haughty tone.

"You… know my name?" Ron said, shocked.

This got a chuckle out of the blue doctor. "Of course I do, Ronald, I just call you Buffoon because I know it annoys you."

"Dude, harsh!" Ron said.

Reaching into the folds of his scientist scrubs Drakken came out holding a detonator. "Kimberly I'll only warn you once as you are Anne's daughter, forget all about this. This is not something _you_ should be involved in. This is not something a teenage girl who knows some kung-fu can solve. If certain groups find you are involved, they won't stop until _you_ and _anyone_ related to you are silenced… permanently."

"What… what do you know that we don't Drakken?" Kim asked.

"Plenty," the man said. As he moved to press the button a feminine hand landed on his wrist and almost crushed it with minimal effort. Drakken stared into the golden eyes of the Servant for that is what she was, as she held his wrist in her grip, she glared at him something fierce.

"Stop!" She demanded.

"Even if you rip off my wrist Servant, a final muscle spasm would still end up with my thumb pressing the button," Drakken warned swiftly.

Caster narrowed her eyes and bit back a curse. "You are correct. This one proposes a trade then."

Drakken blinked. "A trade? What do you have in mind?"

Drakken watched in fascination as the servant reached up and plucked out a few strands of pink locks from her head. "Power for the guarantee of safe passage? What say you Magus?"

Drakken mulled it over. He knew that hair was a powerful bargaining chip in the world of magi as it stockpiled power. For a woman, especially a female Servant to give it up willingly… well, he would be a fool to refuse. "Very well I accept," He gingerly plucked the strands of pink hair from the Servants open palm putting them in his jacket pocket before stepping away from the door and to the left his back to the hallway where the hovercraft waited. "I'll wait fifteen minutes. That should give your tech operator enough time to get an emergency ride together and get it here… Heed my words Kimberly, do not get involved in this for your family's sake. For all my petty hatred I could never sick _them_ on your father."

Kim stopped and looked at Drakken as Mizukume stood between him and her. "Who is '_them' _Drakken?"

Drakken grimaced his eyes which had been like steel flashed with genuine fear for a moment. "Pray you never find out Kimberly, now hurry, you're on the clock," Drakken said, pulling up his sleeve and staring at his watch before turning and walking down the opposite end of the hall.

* * *

As Kim, Ron, and Omi sat huddled in the back of a snow plow Kim turned to the little monk, her tone not accusatory, but curious. "Omi, is there something you'd like to tell Ron and I?"

Omi was silent for a moment, before he replied. "I do not believe I should Kimberly. If what the Doctor said was true, then you knowing could put you in grave danger. I could not live with myself if you got hurt."

Kim grimaced. "While I appreciate what you're trying to do Omi. I can take care of myself."

"I dunno KP," Ron hedged, "Didn't you hear what Drakken said, Kung-fu and cheerleading wasn't gonna be enough to handle this."

"Well,it's a good thing that I _don't _just have kung-fu and cheerleading Ron, I have you, Wade, and his gizmos," Kim retorted.

"Hey!" Rufus complained, popping out from Ron's pocket.

"And you too of course Rufus, I thought that went without saying," Kim said by way of apology.

The naked mole rat 'harrumphed' before turning his back on her, arms crossed.

Kim sighed, "C'mon now Rufus, you're just as important to the team as Ron, me, or Wade," When he ignored her she knew she had to resort to drastic measures. "I'll buy you Bueno Nacho when we get back if you forgive me okay?"

"Grande size?" The mole rat squeaked, peeking at her over his shoulder.

"Yes, grande size… though I don't know where you put it all," Kim said to herself.

"YEAH! Cheese!" Rufus cheered before her scampered up Kim's arm and nuzzled her cheek.

"Cheese whore," Ron said with a smirk. Earning him a raspberry from his pet.

Kim looked to their ride, the only person would or could get to them this high on the mountain, a snowplow worker whose job it was to keep the roads clear so people could get to and from their homes up on the mountain. "Thanks again for the assist Mr. Leeson."

"No problem, happy to help. What were you kids doing up there anyway, eh?"

"Would you believe stopping a mad scientist from taking over your country?" Ron asked.

The man sighed, "Third one this month."

Ron ran a hand down his face. "What I don't get is, why Canada?! I mean it's Canada!"

"Hey, eh?!" The man said slightly offended.

"Sorry," Ron said. "I'm just saying, what's so dang important about Canada that people keep trying to take it over? Like you guys main exports are maple syrup, ham disguised as bacon, and general niceness right?"

"Yes," The man affirmed, "Canada is great, eh?"

"But anyway," Kim said, lowering her voice and fixing Omi with a mild non-hostile glare. "What is going on with you Omi? What have you gotten yourself involved in?"

The monk met her gaze and fixed her with one of his own, "For your own safety Kimberly, I refuse to tell you."

"Dude, just tell her," Ron said with a sigh, "Maybe once she realizes how out of her depth she is, she'll back off."

Kim turned a quizzical gaze on Ron. "Ron… what do _you know_ about all this?"

"More than I want to KP, believe me," Ron assured her. "But Drakken wasn't kidding, this is more than a couple of teens one with cheerleading and kung-fu training can handle."

Kim looked between the two boys she was sharing the snowplow cab with. "One of you had better start explaining this sitch, or I'm going to have Mr. Leeson pull over so I can beat it out of you."

Then, Mizukume's disembodied voice spoke up. It freaked Kim out when she just disappeared when she did, but after what she'd seen today from both her and Omi, she decided not to question it. "What would you give for a wish, Kim-san?"

* * *

Shego paced back and forth as she tried to digest everything her boss Drew 'Drakken' Lipskey had just told her. He sat there calmly behind the desk of his bolthold lair he kept for emergencies in the Bahamas just in case 'that' happened, which it did and explained everything to his partner and friend, watching now as she paced across his Persian rug. She stopped and turned to face him, one hand on her hip, the other pointing at him accusingly, "So let me get this straight, you Doctor D, are a genuine no bullshit mage?"

"Magi," He corrected. "I study the science of magic, replicating feats through magic that science can also duplicate, whereas those who can do things science cannot are true mages, or scorcerers. If you want to be even more particular, I'm an alchemist."

"Like turning lead into gold and crap like that?" Shego asked, eyebrow raised.

Smirking a bit, the blue-skinned man nodded. "That is, one particular branch yes. Yet the branch I specialized in was that of phenomena calculation."

Shego blinked, "Say what now?"

"I calculate the odds of something happening as fast as any super computer," Drakken said calmly. "At Atlas, admission was easy, _no one was_ allowed to leave, however. For once they learned their ways, they were considered a danger to the world at large. Yet I am one of the _few _who has managed the near miraculous feat of escaping the Titan's Pit, mostly unscathed," He said as he reached up and touched the scar on his face.

Shego took a moment to digest that. "So… you're wanted by mages?"

Drakken nodded curtly, just once. "Correct Shego, I am, as they say, on the lamb."

"No one says that Dr. D," Shego said, doing her best not to sigh. "Okay, so you've got a super brain… So _why_ do we keep getting beat by a teenager and her not-boyfriend?"

Drakken gave a light chortel. "That's all part of the plan Shego."

The villainess blinked, "What?"

Drakken sighed, before motioning to the leather chair in front of his solid oak desk. "Have a seat will you? That persian rug is an antique and I don't want you scuffing it with your boots."

Shego crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at her boss who only folded his and waited. In the end Shego pulled out the chair and sat. Once she did, Draken said, "Can I get you anything? Coffee, tea, soda, beer, wine, champagne?" as he spoke he reached into a small mini fridge that had quite a selection of drinks in it.

"Gimme that Guinness with a side of answers Doc," Shego said after a moment.

Drakken put the beer bottle on the table then pulled a vial of some blue substance out of his coat, popped the top off and downed it. Once he did, he tapped the bottle and nothing happened for a moment then the bottle cap shot off the top of the beer due to the increased pressure its contents were put under.

"Neat trick," Shego said with a smirk on her face. "Do you do children's parties too?"

"No," Drakken replied drolly, "I usually reserve my magecraft for prediction, the crafting of automata, and if I _must_ be crude, over oxidizing my opponents and forcing their lungs to explode."

Shego blinked and looked at his little party trick in a new light. "Right, well what's all this about a plan?"

"Simple Shego, I calculated that after two-hundred-fifty-six losses I would have all the necessary information on Kimberly, Ronald, various military installations across the world, and Global Justice itself to finally enact a plan for world domination."

Shego's jaw dropped. "You… you gotta be shittin' me Doc."

Drakken shook his head. "I shit you not," He cringed at having to use foul language. He felt it was beneath him.

"So, does your mom know about this or?"

"Hahahah… no," Drakken said flatly. "They've tried to kidnap her as bait on multiple occasions… I eventually taught them that was not a good idea, to target her _or _my cousin Edward. Shame it took twenty-nine executioners and fifteen Enforcers to do it though."

"Executors and Enforcers?" Shego asked.

"Executors are the iron fist of various religious organizations," Drakken replied. "They hate mages because they _dare_ enact miracles, something they believe only God should be capable of. The Mage's Association has their own hunters. Those who hunt down wayward magi who have _Sealing Designations_ like myself," Drakken sneered in disgust as he spoke the word.

"Bad?" Shego guessed.

"Imagine if you will being like a butterfly, you evolved past the normal worms into something special, so special in fact that they want to preserve you perfectly as you are forever and then use you as a lab rat, to dissect you and put you back together, to find out what makes you tick, and keep you alive, eternally under glass, guard, and microscope for the rest of eternity." Drakken replied.

Shego actually shuddered. As not only did that sound utterly horrifying, that could have easily happened to her and her brothers. '_In fact, why the hell hadn't any of these magic people come hunting for me or my stupid siblings?' _She wondered. Upon voicing these thoughts Drakken grinned victoriously.

"That is because I have gone through great, successful lengths to keep your and your siblings' abilities hidden from magical eyes Shego!" Drakken boasted like the 'Drakken' she was used to, the one she knew now was a very elaborate and well crafted mask. "No mage in their right mind would use the internet! Thus creating a program to destroy any and all footage of them or you was child's play! Bwhwhwaha!"

"You did that for me Dr. D?" Shego felt unusually touched by the gesture.

The man settled down and folded his hands on his desk again, "Certainly Shego. You _do realize _you are no mere lacky correct? You are my pardon the pun, partner in crime. I have very few people I feel I can trust Shego and you are one of them. I hope you realize that."

The villainess blinked. She never realized her boss… cared so much. "Don't go getting all sentimental on me now Dr. D. Not after I'm just now starting to respect you a little. Shego leaned back and propped her feet up on his desk. "What? She said when she saw him narrow his eyes, "You didn't want my boots on the rug right?"

Drakken sighed. "This desk is older than both of us combined. It was carved from the oldest known tree in the world after some kid in Georgia stupidly cut it down."

Shego blinked at that. "Damn, no shit?"

"No." Drakken refused to swear again.

Shego laughed at that. "Wow, you may be on the run Doc, but you got expensive taste."

Draken leaned back in his own chair. "A folly of all magi I'm afraid. We have an ingrained sense of aristocracy and royalty in all of us."

Shego laughed a little, "And yet you love chocolate milk?"

Drakken shrugged. "I've seen and done a lot of things Shego. I've had pizza that cost twelve hundred dollars, a slice topped with gold leaf, lobster, caviar, and truffle. I've been to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Seen the tops of Ancient Aztec ziggurats, where human sacrifice was held, and seen the colosseum in old Rome. Yet sometimes it is the simple things in life that make us the happiest."

Shego absorbed that for a moment. "Wise words Doc. So, what's going on with that kid anyway?"

Drakken's face scrunched as if someone had just shoved smelling salts up his nose. "Ah, him. He has been inducted into a Greater Ritual, that shouldn't even be active anymore. I was told it was taken care of… apparently not. It was not something I'd accounted for in my plan, but not to worry I'm already coming up with several countermeasures."

Shego nodded, trusting her boss that he knew what he was doing for once. "Okay, but what _is_ it?"

Drakken grimaced as he replied, "A Greater Ritual known as the Holy Grail War."

* * *

Kim slowly digested what she'd been told. She had been ruminating on it the entire way back to Middleton as as they sat in a booth in Bueno Nacho, she had only had one response to it all. "Seriously?"

"Totally serious KP. Scouts honor," Ron swore putting his hand over his heart as Rufus scarfed down a grande sized plate of nachos.

"Young Wukong is not trying to deceive you Kim," Sanzang promised her. "He is… _We are _telling you the truth."

It wasn't that she didn't believe her friends, it's just… it was all so fantastical! Spirits of heroic figures from the past and even the future being summoned to fight in a battle royale to the death with mages to attain a wish that had no limitations on it? Scary thought. Kim slowly nodded. "Okay, let's say I believe you…" She pointed at Sangzang, "That would make you the Sangzang from the Journey to the West wouldn't it?"

The monk nodded sheepishly. "That it would Kim, that it would."

Kim then turned to Mizukume… "Who are you supposed to be?"

The pink-haired girl looked away bashfully. "Mizukume would rather not say. In fact, it is dangerous for us Servants to reveal our True Names even to our Masters. For if they are revealed to the enemy it could inadvertently give them information on our weaknesses that would be gleaned through our legends. We Servants are still bound by our myths to a point. An example would be Thor, he could be slain by poisoning and being forced to take nine steps forwards."

Kim took a moment to digest that. Then she gave a slow bob of her head. "I… see. Sorry I asked then."

The Servant shook her hands, "Nonono! Ignorance isn't a _sin_ Kim-san, foreknowledge is forewarned, and all that."

Kim nodded. "Yeah, can't disagree there. So you can't give your name, that's fine. Can you give me your Class designation then?"

The Servant was quick to declare, "I'm a Caster!"

"So you fling spells?" Kim asked for clarification.

"Yep," She replied before taking a bite out of her food. "These Naco's are great!" She praised.

Kim turned back to Sanzang, "You are a moderator for this Holy Grail War?"

"Myself and Young Wukong," She replied putting an arm around Ron who blushed as he was pulled into her bouncing bosom. "He has somehow gained half of the Command Seals that are usually given only to austere self. That marks him as my co-rule enforcer and Master in this War."

Ron shook his head before looking at Sanzang. "Wait, what? Command Seals, where?"

"On your back," Sangxang replied, "In the form of a simian."

Ron sulked, slumping down in his seat. "It's a monkey, of course it's a monkey! I've got a _literal _monkey on my back KP! This is sick and wrong! It's _wrong sick!_"

Kim patted Ron's back sympathetically. "There, there Ron, it'll be okay," She turned back to Omi. "Ready to head over to my house and meet the Tweebs Omi?"

"Tweebs? What is a Tweeb?" the little monk asked.

* * *

Kim's house looked normal from the outside. Yet the moment the door opened, Omi was forced to high kick a rocket out of Ron's face. "Woah! Nice save Bromi! Jim! Tim! We talked about this dudes! No potentially explosive toys in the house!"

"Ron! Kim!" Jim and Tim, identical messy brown haired twin boys ran at the heroic duo. One in a red shirt, the other in green. They skidded to a stop when they saw Omi standing there. "Woah, it's the Kung-Fu Kid!" They said in stereo.

"Who?" Omi looked around as if trying to find someone else fitting that description. Seeing them looking at him, he then pointed at himself. "Me?"

"Dude, you totally rock!" The redshirted Jim said.

"Yeah, you KO'd Brick like he was nothing!" the green shirt wearing Tim added before looking at his brother, "Hika bicka boo?"

"Hoo sha!" Jim replied in twin speak before they high fived and all but dragged Omi away, upstairs to their room.

"Help! I think I _really am_ being kidnaped this time! There is danger from these strangers!" Omi cried as he was dragged up the stairs.

"Boy's play nice!" Caster called a bit of warning in her humored tone.

"Yes ma'am!" One of the twins called down before the door to a bedroom was slammed shut.

Anne walked out of the kitchen with oven mitts on both of her hands. "Kimmy Ron, who're your friends?"

"Mrs. Dr. P this is Sangzang from Japan, she kinda followed me home. She'll be staying with me for a while," Ron replied.

Kim picked up where Ron left off, "And this is Mizukume, she's Omi's big sister. The Tweebs just grabbed him and pulled him upstairs."

The pink-haired girl bowed respectfully. "You have a lovely home Possible-sensei."

"Another girl who followed you home from Japan Ron?" Anne asked bemused.

Mizukume was quick to reply. "No actually, Omi-erzi and I are staying with a graduated colleague student by the name of Ashely Bast."

Anne nodded. "I see," she said as she walked forwards, pulling her oven mitts off as she went and gave her surrogate son the biggest hug she could manage. "Thank you _so much_ Ronald."

"For… oh crap, KP, did you blab?!" Ron said, shooting his friend a glare.

The heroine looked bashful. "Yeah, I totally did. Sorry Ron but there was _no way_ I could keep this a secret."

"Who's at the door honey?!" Rocket scientist James Timothy Possible, 'Mr. Dr. P' called.

"Kim is back… with _Ron_, and she brought extra friends dear," Anne called into the living room.

"Ron? Well, bring him in here, we have a lot to talk about!" The scientist called.

Ron glared at his friend since pre-K. "I blame you for this KP, I blame you."

Kim did her best not to laugh at Ron's predicament. "I'm so sorry Ron." Then, a thought occurred to her. "But now that I think about it, Dad might know something about Drakken acting weird."

"Saved by the mission," Ron said, sighing in relief as he followed his friend into the room.

Kim ran up to her father, who was sitting in an overstuffed armchair, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, "Hey Dad."

"Hey Kimmie Cub, how'd saving Canada go?"

"Weirdly actually," Kim replied, "We went to stop Drakken like usually, but then he got… weird. Not his usual hammy weird, but super serious weird. Has he ever acted like that around you dad?"

"Drew… disappeared after we mocked him, Kimmie Cub. I didn't see him for years after that. When he finally did show back up, I hardly recognized him. His skin was blue, he had that scar, and his hands had noticeably shrunk."

"So he looks like he does now?" Kim asked.

James nodded, his usually relaxed face severe for once. "Yes, he didn't exactly elaborate on where he'd been, just called it the Titans Pit," James shivered although the room wasn't cold in the least. "The look in his eyes that day, wasn't that of a _sane_ man. I thought he'd gotten better with time but," the rocket scientist shrugged, "I suppose not."

The Possible Patriarch then fixed his gaze on Ron. "We need to have a talk about a certain anonymous donation Ronald. Have a seat."

Ron chuckled awkwardly. "Why do I feel like I'm in trouble Mr. Dr. P?"

James waved his hand. "Not at all. What you did was… beyond kind Ron, and it means so much to Anne and myself,"

"But?" Ron said sensing the but coming.

"You are young, and while I know you meant well, we'd appreciate it if you didn't do that again. You should think about your future Ron."

Ron was quiet for a moment before he burst out laughing. "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Dr. P, I don't mean to come off as rude, it's just… do you have any idea how big my royalty check was?"

When the man shook his head, Ron replied, "Ninety-nine million dollars. I still go fourty mill left dude, it's all good. Also, I get paid royalties quarterly. So… yeah."

James nodded slowly, "I see, and how much are you getting paid per Naco sold?"

"A nickel… wow, these things must be selling like hot cakes," Ron said to himself.

James shook his head, "Ron, they're practically ripping you off. You should be making more than a _nickel_ for every naco sold."

"Yeah, but I bet if I hired a lawyer all Bueno Nacho has to do is wait for my forty mill to run out and boom, no more case," Ron replied. "Then, they don't have to pay me anything at all. Don't poke a sleeping bear Mr. Dr. P."

"True," The scientist conceded.

Anne called up the stairs. "Boys! It's almost time for dinner! I made brainloaf!"

Omi came flying down the stairs in a blur. He had electrodes attached to him and marker lines along the top half of his brow. "Kimberly I believe your brothers are attempting to cut me open and see how my watch works!"

"Grr, Tweebs! What gives?! Why're you trying to dissect Omi and see how he ticks?" Kim hollered angirly up the stairs.

"Boys, we've been over this, no dissecting guests!" Anne chastised. "And you can only move onto small animals once you get to highschool!"

"But Mom!" Jim said coming down the stairs. "Omi has to be a mutant of some kind! He was telekinetically manipulating water."

"Yeah," Tim replied, "We have to take him apart, for the sake of science and future generations!"

"Boys!" Mizukume said, fixing the twins with a glare, her hands on her hips. "There will be no dissecting Omi-erzi, am I understood!?"

Both boys looked at the floor. "Yes ma'am! We're sorry!" They chorused at the same time.

Mizukume nodded twice briskly. "Good, good! Now, let's go to the kitchen. This brainloaf your mother talked about sounds interesting."

"Before we go, could you clarify one thing for me Mizukume?" Anne asked.

"Yes?" the Servant replied, unsure what the woman wanted.

Anne smiled and said, "You're little Omi's mother and not his sister aren't you, dear?"

The Servant was stunned into silence for just a moment before she nodded. "I am his adoptive mother, yes. We are so close in age though that it is easier to just tell people we are brother and sister. Many less strange looks that way."

Anne nodded understandingly. "Well you have nothing to be worried about here dear," Anne reassured her, "Now how about that brainloaf?"

"Dibs on the frontal lobe," Jim and Tim said at the same time.

"Your ability to shape meat into the form of human organs is quite impressive Mrs. Possible," Omi complimented from his seat at the table.

Anne beamed, "Thank you, Omi dear."

"Sorry again-" Tim began.

"That we tried to-" Jim continued.

"Dissect you in the name of science!" Both finished.

Omi waved off their apology. "It is fine, try to do so again however and I shall freeze you to your beds," the little monk warned.

"Bromi's not jokin' guys. We saw him cut through a five inch thick tungsten steel door earlier tonight. He's one tough lil dude," Ron warned, causing the Twins to gulp and nod.

Kim decided to bring up something else that happened earlier. "Mizukume, why did you give Drakken a lock of your hair earlier, and why was it so important?"

"Ah, that," The girl pursed her lips as she glanced at the rest of the Possible family. "I do not know if now is the time to be answering such a question Kim."

Kim sighed, "Omi, if you would please give my parents a demonstration? I'm assuming you did one for the Tweebs up in their room?"

"Very well Kimberly," Omi replied before he moved his arms causing the water in their glasses, ice and all, to flow together into a single sphere above his waiting hand.

James and Anne were floored. Anne found her voice first. "I assume this is why the boys wanted to dissect you Omi dear?"

Omi nodded. "Correct. I am simply adept at manipulating my chi, it is not a martial arts concept, it is a fact of life," The young monk formed the mass of ice and water into a frozen swan before continuing, "I am in particular, attuned to the element of water."

James nodded. "Fascinating. I mean, it makes sense energy can neither be created nor destroyed but it can take different forms, you've learned to tap into the very energy our cells produce and learned to use it."

"Perhaps. I chose to think of it as something that simply _is_," Omi replied, "The air is, water is, earth is, and fire is. They make up the world, they form a cycle that completes and defies each other, thus keeping everything in balance."

James nodded understandingly. "You're a spiritual person. I'm a man of science. We're yin and yang in that regard. You don't ask why or how, whereas it's my job to do so."

Omi shook his head. "It is not that I do not ask, in fact I find myself awed by the myriad of things I have seen since leaving the temple. However, I realize that some things don't need to be explained, Mr. Possible. Just as the cricket does not question why he chirps, nor the fish why it swims, there are some things man just should not question. Or rather, is not yet ready for."

James nodded slowly, his mind going to the atomic bomb something largely thought of as the 'sin of science.' "I don't disagree there."

"So back to my question Mizukume?" Kim seguewyed.

The Servant saw no point in holding back anymore. "To practitioners of magecraft, or the science of magic, hair is a valuable resource; as hair holds and collects power the longer it is allowed to grow uncut. Much like bodily fluids. If given up in trade, it forms a sort of pact. A pact most if not all magi will abide by, as to give up one's hair willingly is a sign of either desperation or negotiation. Earlier, I was both."

Kim stroked her own long copper red locks, she'd grown her hair out since pre-K… "What can Drakken do with… wait, are you saying Drakken is a mage?!"

"Correct," Mizukume replied.

"Ouch, my brain," Kim said, massaging her temples at the current revelations. "Okay, but what can he do with it?"

The Caster sighed, "It depends on the type of magecraft he practices. He could do anything from taking forceful control of my body with Voodoo, to creating clones of myself with Alchemy, to binding me unto himself with onmyouji magic," She shuddered, "I truly hope he is not an Onmyouji… I have a particular dislike of them."

Kim bit back a curse. "This isn't good is it?"

The pink-haired girl shook her head. "It is not."

"Well shit," Ron swore, saying what everyone was thinking.

* * *

Shego made her way through the bolthole base bleary-eyed and tired, she'd slept fitfully. She'd had a lot on her mind last night. '_I hope Dr. D slept better than I… did?'_ She thought as she came into the living area and saw a giant ass machine that she knew damn well wasn't there last night when she went to bed. It was black and had eight globulous containers all over its surface and each one was large enough to hold a human body.

Shego approached cautiously and wiped away the condensation covering one of the pods. "The fuck?!" She cried as she jumped back. For floating in some lime green liquid was the naked form of that pink-haired girl from earlier. She wiped off the other pods and found seven other copies of the same girl floating in the same strange juices. She also noticed that each girl had fox ears and a tail.

"Dr. D, you've got some explaining to do!" Shego called out.

"Ah, Shego, I see you're awake," Drakken said coming out of the kitchen a frilly pink apron over his blue scrubs.

Pointing at the strange machine with one finger, "You, explain, _now_! I swear if this is some kind of sick fetish thing..." Her hands lit up with plasma.

Drakken quirked an eyebrow, "Really Shego? Do you truly think me to be so base even now?"

The former heroine sighed. "No, but seriously, what's with the ears and tails?"

Approaching the strange device, Drakken put his hands on one of the pods before saying somberly, "Tell me Shego, have you ever heard of the tale of Tamamo-no-Mae?"

"Who no who?" Shego replied in response.

"According to Japanese mythology, she was the fox spirit responsible for killing Emperor Toba around 1156. According to myth, legend of her beauty, skill and poise had spread far and wide. She eventually became Toba's favored courtesan, and confidant. Then, the Emperor fell deathly ill one day. Abe no Semei the emperor's onmyoji deduced Tamamo-no-Mae was a fox spirit and had her hunted from the palace by eighty thousand soldiers. She was eventually slain by a magic arrow to her heart but not without taking the army with her."

"Wow, and this… is her?" Shego asked.

"Yes, clones of her, but there is more, do you happen to know what a bunrei is Shego?" Drakken inquired.

"Nope, sounds Japanese though," Shego replied.

Drakken nodded. "It is, a bunrei is a copy, an exact duplicate of a japanese god. For you see, Tamamo-no-Mae was, in truth, a bunrei of Amaterasu, the Japanese sun goddess. Curious about humans, she made a bunrei of herself and incarnated it on earth during the early eras of Japan. Before going there though she drifted across India and China causing mass devastation, for about oh, three thousand five hundred years or so arriving in the early years of the reign of emperor Toba where she turned herself into a baby girl and was raised by a poor village couple."

"Damn… and you wanna make clones of this chick why?" Shego asked.

"We need forces that can counter Servant's Shego if our world domination plan is to succeed. Now, please step back, I'm about to perform a mass summoning ritual."

Shego took three steps way back, and watched as Drakken began chanting.

"_**Let silver of my blood and the steel of my resolve be the essence.**_

_**Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation for our contract.**_

_**Let no color decide who I pay tribute to.**_

_**Let rise a wall against the wind that shall not fall till eternity ends.**_

_**Let the four cardinal gates close and grant us safety.**_

_**Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate.**_

_**Let it be declared now with the world and humanity as my witness;**_

_**your flesh shall be bound to me, and my fate shall be your sword to slice karma;.**_

_**Appear before as I beckon you from the beyond.**_

_**Answer, if you would submit to this will and this truth.**_

_**An oath shall be sworn here.**_

_**I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven to prove my character;**_

_**I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell to resolve your sins.**_

_**You who is rejected by the world shall be accepted on my blood.**_

_**From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power,**_

_**come forth from the ring of restraint, protector of the holy balance!"**_

Power filled the air as Drakken incanted, a gale kicked up and electricity crackled through the air, ending in a blinding flash of light when he completed the chant coming from the strange machine itself.

When the light cleared eight fox girls in different colored kimonos ranging from black, yellow, orange, to green, to light blue, red, aqua blue, and pink were bowing in front of Drakken. "We ask of you, are you our Master?"

"I am," the blue man affirmed, grinning evilly.

* * *

While Omi was out with his friends, Ashley was pursuing her favorite pastime before hanging out with Omi _became_ her favorite pastime. That is to say, she was stealing things. Currently, she and Assassin were in the midst of robbing the Louvre in Paris. The Golden Tiger Claws made it a cinch to nab whatever tickled her fancy as she could just create a portal around said item, and then, _bam_ it was in her hands the next second.

She was currently looking over some ancient Iranian jewelry that she thought would look nice on her, when she noticed Assassin staring at a painting. Waltzing over she noticed it wasn't just any painting, but the most well-known painting in the entire place. The Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vici. Giving her partner in crime a nudge she said, "Whaddaya think? It's something right?"

"Why is she smiling do you think?" Assassin asked in a ponderous tone.

Ashley shrugged. "No one knows. It's one of the great mysteries of this painting. Some say it's a picture of what Leonardo da Vici pictured himself looking like as a woman, others think it's that of a very close friend or former lover of his… wanna take it?"

"Sure," Assassin said after a moment's thought before she snatched the painting up and it disappeared into the ether.

Taking an ancient tea set from Japan that Ashley thought Omi would appreciate, Ashley smiled to herself and sighed in satisfaction. "It's so hard to be bad when Omi's around! He's just so… so _sweet_ ya know?! Usually I don't feel bad taking things but he actually makes me feel… _blegh_! Know what I mean?"

"Love makes people do crazy things. Or so I've heard," Assassin commented airily. "I wouldn't know though, I've never been in love."

"Never? Not once? Even when you were alive?" Ashley asked, quirking an eyebrow.

The Phantom Thief shook her head. "No, back in my day love was not a part of marriage. You married because it was expected of you, not because you loved the other person."

Ashley frowned even as she stole more jewelry from a case. "Well that sucks," She then slapped her covered fist into her palm and smirked. "I know! I can totally help you find a boyfriend while you're here!"

Assassin blinked. "What? No, don't be ridiculous Master," Assassin put two slender pale fingers found her temples in an attempt to ward off the headache she knew was coming. "Need I remind you that I am already dead? I am merely being anchored to this plane of existence by you?"

"So?" Ashley retorted. "That doesn't mean you can't have a may-december romance, right?"

"That's _exactly_ what it means!" Assassin snapped. "I'm _dead _girl," Assassin turned away, arms crossed under her impressive bosom. "There is no point in me getting attached to anyone."

"Me-ow. Someone's being _catty_, and it's not me Carrie," Katenappe huffed before she walked off.

Again Assassin, who was going by Carrie Denever for now, found herself letting out a sigh. '_Why must my Master be so difficult? Well because she is a teenage girl of course. Remember when you were that…' _Just thinking of herself when she was her Master's age caused Assassin's nose to bleed. "No, no don't go down that road. That way leads only to madness." Assassin said to herself as she caught up with her miffed Master in just a couple of steps. She then placed a hand on her shoulder. "I… did not mean to be cruel, Master. It's just… remembering my past is… painful for me."

"I know what that's like," Ashely commented, before turning to her Servant and adding, "If you get hung up on the past though, then how can you ever look forward to the future?"

"Master… I'm _dead_," Assassin reminded her flatly. "I'm a _ghost_. I don't have a _future_."

The blonde cat themed thief shook her head. "Nonsense! I'll bet you everything you and I manage to steal while we're together that we'll find some way to make you human again."

"You're foolishly optimistic Ashley Bast," Assassin said.

Katnappe smirked. "Well Carrie Denever, I have a set of golden magic tiger claws that let me teleport wherever I want, and I'm talking to a ghost. So is the idea of there being a magical item that can turn ghost corporeal so farfetched?" she challenged.

Carrie thought it over. "No, I suppose not. What if such an item, a Shen Gong Wu was it? Appears and ends up in someone else's hands?"

Ashely just laughed. "Then we'll just steal if of course."

Assassin quirked an eyebrow smiling mischievously. "Even if that person is little Omi?"

Ashley coughed a bit then corrected, "Well, in that case, we'll just borrow it without asking with the full intent to return it."

"Thought so," Assassin quipped.

"Shut it!" Ashley fired back, flushing a bit.

* * *

"Grr!" Kimiko paced across the room Grangran kept for her, "This sucks gramps!"

The red mantled servant sighed as he leaned on the wall close to the window. "So you've said, multiple times. Also how many times must I tell you to call me Archer! _Archer_! We don't need the enemy guessing our familial connection by how you address me."

"But Gramps _is_ my Gramps," Kimiko said.

"Not the point Kimi-chan" Archer replied with a sigh. "If any enemy servants figure out we're related, then you could be in even more danger?"

"In even more danger than in a death game where the easiest way to win is for the super powered death ghost gladiators is to kill me anyway?" Kimiko pointed out, "You're kidding right?"

Archer opened his mouth to retort but he realized the girl had a damn good point. "Fair," Archer admitted. "But you calling me Gramps just makes me feel… weird."

"Awe, you're shy!" Kimiko said before she ran forwards and hugged his waist. "That's so cute Gramps."

"I am _not_ shy," Archer grumbled, as he reached down with one hand and gently ran a hand through Kimiko's hair. "You remind me so much of your Grandmother it's unsettling."

"She's down stairs you know? You can go talk to her? Clear the air?" Kimiko said in a hinting tone.

"No," Archer said flatly. "Also, weren't you concerned about your boyfriend?"

"O-Omi isn't my boyfriend!" Kimiko denied. '_Yet.' _She thought.

"Yet," The Servant said with a scoff. "Give it time."

"Gramps!" Kimiko said, hitting him ineffectually. "Stop teasing me!"

Archer smirked. "Now why would I do that? Where's the fun in it for me if I do?"

"You're incorrigible… but I _am_ worried about Omi-chan, he's so pure and innocent… I'm worried that Katnappe might end up corrupting him somehow," Kimiko finished with heat in her tone

"Worried she'll make a man out of him before you do more-like," Archer grumbled to himself.

"Gramps!" Kimiko said her face flushed as she released a kick that ended in a burst of flame, which thankfully, Archer's magic resistance negated.

A knock came at the door and moments later Clay came in with Rider in tow. The cowboy tipped his hat in greeting. "Hey y'all. You wondering when this Grail War thing is gonna start in earnest like me?"

Archer crossed his arms and closed his eyes. "Hopefully not too soon Clay. We've yet to gather all of our forces. If we were to be attacked by the full force of the other side now, we would be at a tactical disadvantage."

"Scared Archer-san?" Rider asked, in a teasing tone.

Archer huffed. "Hardly, but I can't plan for unknowns, Rider."

The Servant of the mount nodded. "Of course. I think you are one of the most dangerous people here Archer, parameters be damned."

Archer gave a flippant bow. "Coming from Medusa herself, I'll take that as a compliment."

The scent of blood was cloying in the air as Rider's covered eyes glared at the red mantled Servant. Her voice came out in a dangerous hiss. "How did you _**know**_?"

"How indeed?" Archer said in a mocking knowing tone.

"Gramps," Kimiko said warningly. "That's enough. Just… stop being a dick already! Either tell how you knew or I'll… I'll use a Command Spell to make you." She threatened.

Archer's steel eyes met his granddaughter's aquamarine. They stared at each other for a moment. It was the Servant who looked away first. "Very well Master, if you insist," He looked to Rider, "To put it to you simply I can read the history of any object I look at. I knew who you were the moment I looked at your visor, and those chains."

"I… see. Quite a useful skill," Rider said after a moment. "So then you know who Assassin is as well I take it?"

"Fuma Kotaro, a 'Famous Assassin' which defeats the purpose of being an assassin if you really think about it." Archer replied nonchalantly.

"Archer-san is quite knowledgeable," Assassin said, falling from the ceiling smile never leaving his face, his ruddy hair covering one of his crimson eyes. "I am most impressed, and you are quite right, a famous Assassin is an oxymoron."

"Where's Raimundo dare I ask?" Kimiko inquired, her tone both acidic and flippant.

"Master is in the dojo honing his skills," Assassin replied easily, "I was also sent to inform you that dinner is…"

Suddenly the ground trembled as the earth shook and a harrowing cry split the air. "HARROORPH" It was a mixture of the crying of a madman and the trumpeting of an elephant.

"Going to have to wait," Archer said as a feeling, a pressure of absolute dread and terror washed over them all.

It could only be an enemy Servant. It had to be. The first battle of this Apocryphal Grail War was about to begin.

* * *

In the Emiya Estate, a girl broken by fate, used a kitchen knife and her own blood to create a magic circle. '_I'll win,' _She told herself. '_I'll win and get Sempai back. The Grail, it has to give Sempai back to me, it can grant any wish. It __**has to **__give Sempai back to me if I win right?' _

So did the poor thing known as Sakura Matou think to herself as she chanted frantically the words Zouken had carved into her flesh, her very soul, all those years ago. Zouken, the fool, tried to stop the Wizard Marshall Zelretch from sealing away the Greater Grail, and was minced because of it. Every single worm was removed from her body for Zouken's insolence… it was a poor consolation prize.

'_I will get sempai back!'_ Sakura thought madly as she finished the incantation. "**O' Keeper of the Balance!"**

There was an explosion of power, and the Emiya estate was all but torn apart. When it cleared Sakura was being held protectively in the arms of a humanoid '_thing'_. A pair of massive curved ivory tusks were jutting from its shoulders, its skin was a thick blue-grey, and layered thick with muscle, Sakura could feel the sheer amount of power bundled up in its limbs as it gingerly held her in its arms. She noted a red royal mantle fluttered behind it. It's head was small, almost unnoticeable if it weren't for the royal crown set atop it.

"I… ask of you… Are you my… Anastasia?" The Servant asked in a deep dark baritone.

"Anastasia?" Sakura said aloud.

The Servant placed Sakura on the ground, and gently stroked her head with one finger. "Anastasia Romanova, it is you. Your voice, so soft, so pure… I could mistake it for no other."

'_Ah, it's Ivan the Terrible… and he thinks I'm his first wife,' _Sakura realized. She smiled sadly. '_We're both quite sad aren't we Ivan? Missing someone we can't have? I suppose we can comfort each other for now.'_

"Yes dear, it's me," Sakura said.

"My dear you are bleeding. What happened?" Ivan asked concernedly. From her place on the ground Sakura had to estimate, he was 531cm/17'5. He was quite tall. He had a royal red loincloth covering his waist and a belt formed of a spinal cord. His torso was brick hard and his face looked like the maw of a crab. Two twinkling blue dots signified his eyes.

"I was attacked dear. Our enemies in the aristocracy have attempted to kill me. I managed to escape however and found my way to you."

Bloodlust filled the air causing all life to still as the aura of an apex predator overshadowed them. "Where. _Are. __**They?**_ I'll slaughter them like the dogs they are and show them the folly of going against the Tsar and _God_!"

"I stumbled upon them congregating in a house plotting our demise, we should strike now while they are still unaware," Sakura urged.

"Yes… they shall fall, for the continued glory of Mother Russia!" Ivan swore, clenching his fist as he swore vengeance before he made his way towards the door. Sakura made to follow, only for Ivan to throw out a hand not in a threat but a placative manner. "No, you shall stay here Ana, where it is safe."

Sakura puffed out her cheeks in annoyance but was oddly touched. "But then how will you know where they are located dear?"

"The worms cannot hide from me! They will not dare meet my eye! Not now that I know of their betrayal!" Ivan growled as lighting began to spark from his person. "No, you are safest here Ana."

Sakura sighed, but saw her Servant off with a smile. "Very well dear. Please be safe. I'll have dinner started by the time you return."

What could pass as a slasher's smile appeared on Ivan's beastly visage, "Truly god blessed me with this encounter my dear. Let God as my witness know I am thankful for you, my beloved wife." he then proceeded to bend over the best he could and kissed her hand in a show of affection.

Sakura found herself flushing a bit. '_He thinks you're his wife, remember you're doing this for Sempai,' _Sakura told herself as he made his way towards the front door and she made her way towards the kitchen, intent on keeping her word and cooking enough for six. For if Ivan was anything like Saber or her beloved Rider from the last War, then he could likely pack away a lot of food.

* * *

Archer spotted the thing that could only be a Servant first thanks to his keen eyesight. The fact that it was walking blatantly down the road in the middle of the day, the sun not even having fully set yet, made him think they must be dealing with a Berserker.

'_Shit, shit shit!' _Archer thought to himself. '_What the hell is that thing? I could tell who Rider was because she was wearing her Noble Phantasm on her face and she had her chains, but this guy… he's got no distinguishing markers.' _

Suddenly a twisted roughly carved golden staff appeared in the opposing Servant's hand, making Archer think he was dealing with a Caster. This was only enforced when the Servant stomped on the ground and sent a torrent of lightning surging forth along the ground, setting a nearby tree ablaze.

'_Gramps?'_ Kimiko's voice echoed in his head. '_What the heck is that thing?!'_

'_Grandpa is kinda busy right now sweetie.'_ Archer retorted. '_Be a good girl and leave me alone for a bit and I'll take you out for ice cream when this is all over.'_

'_Screw you too old man! Just don't die out there! Grangran and I won't forgive you if you do!'_ Kimiko snapped at him as he traced his signature weapons, the yin-yang married twin swords Kanshou and Bakuya and charged the inhuman looking Servant.

'_Kids these days,_' Archer thought to himself as he entered the first fight of this unusual Grail War.

His twin swords met the Casters staff with a clang, the beautiful craftsmanship cracking from the sheer force and pressure coming off the other Servant.

"I gotta admit, you're an odd one Caster," Archer grudgingly complimented as he jumped back, tracing another pair of the twin blades and eyeing his foe from a safe distance.

"Caster… this one is no Caster I despise witches and the like…" The Servant rumbled with his voice reverberating across the area..

Archer quirked a white eyebrow, "Oh then what might your Class designation be, hm?"

"This one is… The Thunder Emperor!" The Servant roared, lightning arcing from his ivory tusks, "And you shall die for threatening my wife churl!"

Archer crossed his blades in front of him and managed to deflect the lightning bolt, thankful not for the first time nor the last that wielding both swords together raised his Magic Resistance. Yet just because he could not get electrocuted doesn't mean he wasn't forced back. He was… all the way through the wall of someone's house.

His steel gaze briefly flicked over the occupant sitting at the table, an old woman with brown going grey hair. "Excuse me." He said as he ran right back through the hold he'd just made in her home. While the woman herself was left blinking owlishly thinking. '_Was… was that Emiya-kun just now?'_

Back outside the Servant was still ranting and raving about some wife or another. "Assassin! Traitor! Usurper! Bolshevik! I'll flay your flesh from your bones! For daring to lay a hand upon my darling Anastasia!"

'_Bolshevik, Anastasia… Oh shit is this Ivan the Terrible? Wow, he must have the Innocent Monster skill, and it __**really **__fucked him up, cause he looks __**nothing**_ _like the Ivan from history.' _The Counter Guardian thought to himself grimacing as he threw his favored weapons at the monster and traced another pair.

They bounced off of his flesh, doing all of nothing. Archer blinked. "Well, shit."

"Die assassin!" The Thunder Emperor roared as he shot off another burst of lightning.

The mantled hero shot back verbally. "I'm an Archer you idiot! Also, your wife is probably just your Master using your mental imbalance to her… advantage," Archer realized there was likely only one person in the entire town who _could_ be this Servant's Master. '_Sakura, what have you done?'_

Ivan stood stock still for a moment before he started speaking in low tones his voice picking up momentum as he carried on. "Die… die… diediediediediediedie!"

Suddenly the servant disappeared in a burst of lightning only to reappear in front of him and aim a punch at his face. The Servant of the bow, just barely got his blades up to soften the blow in time but it _still_ broke his jaw as it hit him in the face, sending him flying, bouncing like a ball as he skipped down the street.

"Shit, where's the cavalry when you need them?" Archer said to himself as he picked himself up out of the trench his body made.

"Sorry we're late partner," Clay said, sitting behind Rider on her pegasus. "We had a bit of a disagreement on whether I should come to this dog and pony show or not."

"You shouldn't have," Archer replied, spitting blood from his mouth. "You could die right here and now while we're fighting, and if you die, we lose Rider. You're a walking target."

"Your concern for my safety is like a warm blanket partner, but lifes the greatest bull of all. It's gonna buck all of us sometime," Clay replied.

"If that's your roundabout way of saying you're not afraid of dying, I'll stick by my point of calling you an idiot!" Archer retorted.

"He has a better chance of surviving than you at the moment Archer-san," Assassin noted. "My goodness whatever did you say to get him so riled?"

"I may have made some insinuations about his wife, who isn't really his wife," Archer sighed. "Speaking of, you need to head to the Matou Estate and kill the woman there. She's the only possible Master for this thing."

"But Archer-san, if it's Master is located at the Matou Estate we would've been attacked much sooner than this?" Assassin noted. "So the Master of this Servant must be living somewhere else."

Archer blinked. "There's an old fashioned japanese mansion across town. Go there, kill the woman." Archer said, his voice as hard as his heart at the moment.

"Understood," Assassin said as he disappeared using Presence Concealment.

"Ivan!" Archer roared. "You have a choice! You can either fight us, or go save your precious wife! What'll it be?"

The Servant stopped and screamed at them, "Traitors! Wretches! Dogged blasphemers against God! Has my wife not suffered enough from your cruel actions?! She is innocent and pure and you corrupt her with your filth and spiteful actions!" He then stomped away as fast as he could go.

Archer didn't flinch externally, but internally he felt his heart seize. He then sighed and looked towards Rider and Clay, "Well, that happened huh?"

"That's a low blow partner threatenin' a lady and then sendin' one of our own to almost certainly die? What's wrong with you?" Clay asked.

'_Yeah, Gramps what the hell?' _Kimiko asked through theirServant-Master connection.

Archer sighed. "Children, children will you both relax? I'm sure Raimundo is smart enough to pull Assassin back with a Command Spell once Ivan shows up." That was all part of Archer's plan of course. To both get rid of Ivan and weaken his 'allies' for the eventual time when the Grail War became a free for all. The more Command Seals Kimiko had and the less the others had, the better in his opinion.

'_Yeah, but then he'll be short a Command… you planned that didn't you?'_ Kimiko accused.

'_Who me, no never. I mean, it's not like we're in the middle of a death game and our 'allies' could turn on us at any time, and it wouldn't be a good idea to deny them any potential resources we can, 'while' we can.' _The Servant retorted.

'_Gramps… we 'will' be having words when you get back here,' _Kimiko promised him.

'_I'm quivering in my steel toed boots Kimi-chan. So… since you're upset I'm assuming you 'don't' want that ice cream then?' _

'_Make sure its green tea flavored you asshat!' _Kimiko growled at him, making him chuckle.

* * *

"So, all I gotta do is bleed a bit right?" Dojo asked for clarification looking at everyone else and then the circle of gemstones embedded into Rin Tohsaka's basement warily.

"That is correct Dojo-san," Rin said with the utmost politeness, he was a dragon after all. "It should be a simple matter for one such as yourself."

Dojo smirked at her. "Quit tryin' to butter me up sweetcheeks, I'm too old for you, or your too young for me, either or." Dojo slithered towards the circle of precious gems and bit down on his palm drawing some blood with his fang. He allowed some of his blood to fall into the circle. It immediately flared to life blazing a brilliant crimson hue as mana colascuesed in the magic circle. When the wave of magical energy passed, a man, clearly a knight was standing there.

He was wearing grey scaled armor that was split down the middle showing his chest, in his hand he held a massive sword that looked like it was fit for the hands of a giant rather than a man, his platinum blonde locks fell into his face and half covered his grey eyes. Then he spoke, his voice a deep sorrowful timbre. "I Servant Saber have come at your summons," He looked down at the small dragon and upon seeing Dojo staring back up at him, he quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Are you my Master?"

"Y-Yeah," Dojo said nervously, "That's me you uh… you're a dragonslayer aren't you?"

The Servant nodded. "I am. You are a dragon this is… odd."

Dojo laughed, "You're tellin' me! I thought only Shen Gong Wu only gave me the willies but man, you're settin' me off."

Saber bowed, "My apologies, Master, I shall go into astral form if you wish."

In response, Dojo climbed up his Servants body until he was wrapped around his neck like a green scarf. "Nah, don't worry about it big guy. Long as you don't try to turn me into sushi with that carving knife of yours, we'll get along fine, yeah?"

Saber smirked a bit, "I shall endeavour to hold myself back, Master, also, if I may? Are these my fellow Servants?" Saber inquired. Motioning to the red mantled Archer, the lascivious Rider, and the bishounen Assassin.

"Yeah big guy. We all know each other's names by the buy so go ahead and introduce yourself."

"Dojo it's rude to ask him to introduce himself before the others do it," She then nudged her grandpa turned servant in the side motioning for him to go first.

Archer sighed, then adopted a sardonic smirk. "Servant Archer, Counter Guardian EMIYA at your service."

Assassin waved. "Yo, Assassin, Fuma Kotaro nice to meet you Saber-san."

"Servant Rider, Medusa, the Gorgon," Medusa's tone was quiet, clipped, and succinct.

Saber said nothing for a moment then spoke. "Siegfried of the Nibelungenlied, slayer of Fafnir."

"Whoah!" Kimiko said in amazement. "He's like, almost invincible. Nice one Dojo!" She held her hand out for a high five, which the dragon returned.

"Okay so, we've got Saber, Assassin, Archer, Rider, and whatever cueball summoned. That leaves us Master Fung and a seventh person," Raimundo counted off.

"Sounds about right," Clay commented. "Seeing as its Master Fung, I can't see him summoning a Berserker."

"Yeah so that leaves Caster and Berserker for Omi, and I don't see Omi summoning a berserker either. Too zennocent," Kimiko commented.

"Zennocent?" Raimundo asked.

Kimiko rolled her eyes. "Zen and innocent, duh," The Dragon of Fire was quick to continue, "Anyway, he likely summoned Caster or Lancer, which means whoever the sixth person is, they would be our Berserker summoner… oh crap," Kimiko said after a moment.

Clay tipped his hat up and asked, "What's wrong lil lady?"

"Who do we _know_ that summoned a Berserker?" Kimiko said in a tone filled with dread.

The Xiaolin Dragons of Earth and Wind looked at each other for a moment before saying at the same time, "Spicer!"

* * *

The surgery was long and extensive but the first round that of replacing her bones with tungsten steel was done. "Berserker, can you hear me?" Jack asked, as he shifted the operating table ninety degrees.

Berserker breathed deeply for a moment and snapped her heterochromatic eyes open before she replied, "Yes… my Master."

"Excellent," Jack said, smiling evilly as he tapped the pads of his fingers together. "We did it Smithers!"

"Don't call me that," Wade Load said from his screen. "But yeah we totally did."

"Can I call you Lord Maul, maybe Count Dooku?"

"It's Master Windu or nothing…" Wade glanced around making sure he was alone before saying, "Motherfucker."

Jack burst out laughing upon hearing that. "Okay, that was wow. Go Wade."

"Stop toying around with the girl!" Wuya screeched, "Another Shen Gong Wu has activated. The Sword of the Storm! Go forth and retrieve it immediately!"

Jack rubbed the back of his head with the Monkey Staff which he was holding in his tail, "Umm, yeah about that, I can't exactly stop in the middle of a big overhaul like this, Berserker still needs a lot of work done before she's even close to modern standards, and Jack Spicer, boy genius doesn't half ass a job."

"So you're just going to let the Xiaolin Warriors get the Sword of the Storm, so you can continue modifying your Servant?" Wuya asked.

Jack sighed, "Wuya, you're not thinking long term. If I finish tuning up Berserker, her stats will raise, meaning she can take on bigger threats. However, I did come up with a contingency plan while I continued to work on Fran here."

"Ber-Ser-Ker, Master. Ber-Ser-Ker." Berserker corrected while pouting in such a way Jack considered it illegal.

"Right sorry, Berserker," Jack quickly apologized. "Anyway, this guy comes highly recommended by Henchco."

Suddenly the doorbell to his evil lair rang and Jack smiled, "Oh that must be him now. Jackbutler, show my guest inside please."

"Of course sir." the Jackbutler replied. It went to the door and returned shortly after with an overweight ninja, dressed in black garb, his gut overhanging from his dark garb, and a ninjato on his back. "Your guest sir."

"I am Tubbimura hai." He bowed to Jack.

Jack waved back. "Hey man, did you receive your docket from Henchco?"

Tubbimura bowed again, "Hai, Tubbimura is to go forth and collect Shen Gong Wu, hai."

"I say Jack, look at his gut," Wuya commented.

Jack whispered. "Wuya ixnay on the fatsay. it's not polite to point out someone's weight."

The ghost shook her head. "No you fool look!" She pointed out the fact that Tubbimura had three half circles around his belly button. "They are just like the marks on your hand. Meaning he too is a Master in this Grail War."

"Master, Grail War, hai?" Tubbimura asked, clearly confused.

"Dude, what's going on?" Wade asked.

"Wade, buddy, I'm gonna have to call you back," Jack said with a grin on his face as he cut Wade's feed. He then talked to the ninja, "Well Tubbimura, what if I told you I knew of a way to make your job a lot easier? All you'd have to do is work for me exclusively?"

"Then work for you I would hai," Tubbimura said with a nod. "I cannot help but wonder what it is you're talking about though, hai."

"Well," Jack said as he put his arm around the ninja, "It all has to do with a little something called a Holy Grail War."

* * *

_Beep-boop-boop-beep_

Kim heard her Kimmunicator go off and she said "Go Wade!"

"Hey Kim, Miss Tohomiko is on the line looking to talk to Omi, is he around?" Wade asked.

"As a matter of fact he is," She said as she watched him and Ron completely thrash the tweebs at Tekken V. "Is this a social call or something?"

Wade shook his head. "No, something about Xiaolin Monk business?"

Kim nodded. "Omi, Kimiko is calling for you some sort of monk thing?"

"I'll be right there!" He called pausing the game and rushing to Kim's side. "What seems to be the trouble Kimberly?"

"I don't know, why don't you find out?" She said handing him the Kimmunicator. Kimiko's face quickly popped up on the small screen.

"Omi! Are you okay?!" Kimiko asked worriedly.

Omi nodded."I am fine Kimiko, and yourself?"

The Dragon of Fire sighed, "Been better, but Dojo said another Shen Gong Wu activated, according to the scroll it's the Sword of the Storm and Dojo said you know a lot about it?"

"Oh yes, the Sword of the Storm is a particularly powerful Shen Gong Wu. It can create hurricane-like forces of air when spun in the user's grip. It is very important you do not try to physically attack with it as attempting to do so will turn the Sword of the Storm intangible and easily lost."

"Right, got it Omi…" Kimiko paused for a moment, looked away before she said, "I miss you, Omi. I can't wait for you to get back."

The little monk was momentarily stunned. He'd never had anyone say such words to him before, well except for when he briefly left and came back to Ashley… but with Kimiko it felt… deeper. "I shall be back soon. I have made many friends here in Middleton, it is an… interesting place."

"That's great! I look forward to hearing all about it." Kimiko replied. Due to how rapidly the background was moving behind her Omi quickly deduced they were on Dojo.

"When you land, tell me where you are, and my new friends and I shall come to help." Omi replied.

"Are you sure?" Kimiko asked hesitantly. "Aren't you honorbound or something to stay in Middleton?"

"Ashley!" Omi called, "My friends require assistance, may we go help them?!"

"Sure. sounds like fun. Where are we going little guy?" The blonde asked from her spot on the couch where she was trying to act like she wasn't listening in on his conversation.

Omi replied, "I do not know yet, but it makes me happy to know I can go assist when the time comes."

"Count Ron and me in too," Kim said leaning down into the camera, "I am technically still watching him."

"Oh, thank Miss Possible." Kimiko said, surprised.

Kim smiled, "No big, and call me Kim, Kimiko."

"Cool, at the rate we're going we'll be landing somewhere in the next ten minutes or so, seeya soon Omi." She sent her little friend a wink.

Omi smiled. "Goodbye Kimiko, be safe."

Handing the Kimmunicator back to the red haired heroine, he said, "It seems we will soon have a place to be."

"Ten minutes, just enough time to change into our mission gear." Kim noted. "But then we need some way to get there."

Omi held up a hand, Leave that to me, and Ashley," He turned to the blonde feme fatale, "You brought the Tiger Claws yes?"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Do cat's go in a litter box?"

"I do not know what that is," Omi replied. "Do they?"

"The answer is yes Bromi," Ron said standing up and cracking his back before he ruffled Jim and Tim's hair. "Sorry guys, but duty calls."

"Aww," they said in stereo.

"Can we?" Jim began.

"Come with?" Tim finished.

Instead of Kim it was Omi who answered them first. "I am afraid not my friends, we are about to enter _my world _and if one is not properly prepared it can be quite dangerous, lethally so to the unprepared."

"But you're going, and so is Ashely," Tim pointed out.

Omi did a backflip and stood on his hands. "Your sister, Ronald and myself and Ashely can handle ourselves."

"You, sis, and Ashley sure, but Ron?" Jim question.

"Words, words are hurtful Jim," Ron said in mock hurt.

"Mikon! What's going on?!" Mizukume said as she all but bounded into the room, Sangzang right behind her.

"Mother, something has come up and my friends require assistance. We shall be leaving soon." Omi replied. "Jimmy and Timothy wish to come with us, but they cannot."

Anne followed the other two women into the livingroom, "Boy's you can't go out with Omi and the others."

"But Mom!" They complained in stereo.

"Is this dangerous Omi dear?" Anne asked.

"Without proper skill in kung-fu, I fear for their safety, Miss Possible." Omi replied, "Though Jack Spicer seems to handle himself just fine regardless."

"Spicer, if he shows up all the time then we should…" The Tweebs began only to be cut off by their mother.

"Boy's, if Omi says it's too dangerous then I'm inclined to believe the magical kung-fu monk. You'll stay here and wait for him to come back." Anne said figuratively putting her foot down. She smiled at the others. "You'd best go get ready dears."

"Thank you Miss Possible." Omi replied with a bow. He told the put out twins. "If you wish to help, then first you must learn how to defend yourselves somehow. I cannot in good conscience let you come with us." He then looked to the others. "We should go get ready."

"Yeah, later tweebs." Kim said as she ruffled their hair affectionately.

Tim looked at Jim. "Hicka bicka boo?"

"Who sha!"

They then raced up the stairs. Anne shook her head. "Boys."

* * *

Kimko and the others landed on the golden sandy beaches of Monte Carlo. The tide was going out leaving all manner of debris on the beach. Raimundo felt like he was back in Rio and said as much. "The surf here looks almost as good as my hometown of Rio."

"That's cool Rai, but we're not here to surf, we're here to find a magical object that can create tornadoes, remember?" Kimiko reminded him doing her best not to roll her eyes. '_After I just got done telling him off for not taking this seriously too.'_

"Yeah, yeah, let's go find this thing. It's gotta be nearby right?" Raimundo replied shortly, the sound of the surf was calling to him like a siren's song.

"It… Achoo!" Dojo sneezed, he acted like he had a cold. "Should be close I think. I can't tell because my sniffer is on the fritz."

"Master," Siegfried said leaning down in concern to look at his now lizard sized master, "Are you going to be alright?"

Dojo patted his servant on the shoulder before he coiled himself around his neck. "I'll be fine big guy, I always… I always get like… achoo! Get like this when a Shen Gong Wu activates, don't worry."

The swordsman nodded. "As you say master."

Kimiko, smiled as she finished sending a text. "Alright, I just texted Kim our address, so Omi should be here soon."

Just as she finished saying that, the sound of ripping cloth was heard, and out of a grey portal came Omi, wielding the Golden Tiger Claws, and he was quickly followed by an older pink-haired girl with hazel eyes, Katnappe and a platinum blonde pale woman in a red dress, Kim Possible, her sidekick Ron Stoppable, along with a well endowed woman following in his wake.

"Master, three of those women are Servants," Archer whispered, getting in front of her defensively.

"My, my, your Servant is quite protective isn't he?" the pink-haired woman asked a slightly jagged smile on her face.

"Any _half decent _Servant would be, this is a grail war after all." Archer quickly returned.

Caster just stared at the servant. Then, her eyes narrowed. "What was that? Caster was fairly sure she misheard you over the surf Nameless-san."

Archer blinked. "Nameless? I… have we met?" He asked, feeling a sudden sense of nostalgia as he stared at the girl in front of him.

Now it was Caster's turn to smirk. "Perhaps, once upon a time, it's not Casters fault if you can't remember mikon."

That word 'mikon' sounded familiar for some reason, he just couldn't place why or where. Archer gave his head a shake. '_It doesn't matter.'_ He told himself. Instead he addressed the other two Servants. "The boy has summoned our side's Caster which means the both of you are, or should be the enemy correct?"

The chinese woman spoke up, shaking her head. "No actually. This one is the Ruler, the rule moderator for this Holy Grail War, Archer of Xiaolin."

Archer quirked an eyebrow. "Archer of Xiaolin huh?"

Ruler shrugged. "It makes sense. Since a majority of you are on the side of the Xiaolin Dragons as I've heard Omi explain it, I've termed this Grail War the Xiaolin-Heylin Apocrypha Grail War."

Assassin pointed at Ashley, "So if you're Ruler, then what does that make her?"

It was Omi who answered. "She is the Master of Rider of Heylin and she and I have a nonaggression pact. No harm shall come to her while she's here. I do hope I make myself clear?" The little monk phrased it like a question yet his tone made it sound like an order.

Kim stepped between the two groups. "Okay everyone, just settle down, let's just focus on finding the potentially world ending object for the moment shall we? Maybe kill each other later?"

Suddenly, Archer was in front of her all but looming over her, his steel grey eyes bored into her green ones. "You're very brave, not only being a mere human getting involved in things she can't even begin to comprehend, but also attempting to order us around."

"And for whose supposed to be a Heroic Spirit, you're coming off as little more than a two bit bully." Kim replied evenly.

Archer scoffed. "That's where you're wrong. I'm no hero girl," Archer leaned back when a wall of ice formed between him and the girl. He glanced past the redhead at the bald monk.

"You shall step away from Kimberly please…" Omi waited a heartbeat before he said, "I will not repeat myself."

Archer smirked a bit. He doubted the boy could actually hurt him, even with his shitty magic resistance, still, he admired his courage. He took three large steps back. "So, we're looking for a sword, correct?"

Before Omi could open his mouth to respond, he had the air all but squeezed out of him by a black and red missile. Kimiko was hugging him for all she was worth. "Omi-chan! How've you been?" She shot the blonde cat burglar a glare as she asked, "Has Katnappe been taking good care of you?"

"Hello Kimiko," Omi squeaked out, with what little air he still had in his lungs. "I missed you too," He pulled away just enough to get some air in his lungs before he replied, "Also, yes, Katnappe has been showing me the scenery. We went crawling through the mall which didn't involve as much crawling as I expected, I've seen and critiqued many movies on kung-fu, and found the glory that is the Naco."

"Amen Bromi," Ron said. "So uhh, maybe we should split up to cover more ground? It's kinda a big beach yeah?"

"An excellent idea Ronald!" Omi replied, "I shall cover the ocean in case it is under the waves. "Perhaps you could try searching along the shore with Raimundo or go on that large wheel over yonder to get a birds eye view of the area?"

Kimiko giggled. "That's a Ferris wheel Omi, but that's not a bad idea. Archer, head on up there and see if you can spot anything shiny would you?" Seeing the grimace he was giving, Kimiko gave him a nudge, "Go on, the little kitty and her pet aren't going to do anything."

"Watch it spitfire or you'll find out this kitty has claws," Ashley all but hissed, while her Servant just frowned at being called a pet.

"I think the ladies and I will go search under the pier over there," Kim said hastily.

"I'll come with ya if that's alright Miss Possible." Clay said with the tip of his hat.

Kim smiled. "That's just fine, Clay right?"

"Yes ma'am."

Kim punched Clay in the arm. "Kim is fine, ma'am is _so_ my mom."

"Right then, lead the way lil lady," Clay said motioning towards the pier in the distance.

As the ladies and Clay walked away, with Carmilla's mechanical dogs sniffing the sand the whole way, Omi scratched his bald head and asked himself. "What was all that about?"

Ron laughed, "Um, Bromi, I think they were fighting over you dude."

Omi pointed at himself. "Me, why? I am not a Shen Gong Wu."

Ron just rubbed Omi's bald head. "Too pure for this world truly." He then turned to Raimundo. "Alright dude, we got a beach to search, so let's get to it."

Raimundo sighed. "Kay, I'd rather be on a board searching the waves though."

"You can catch yummy casks later Raimundo, for now, we must find the Sword of the Storm, and water is my element so please, leave it to me, and focus on listening to the wind to find the Sword of the Storm. It should, in theory, call out to you more than any of us as it is a wind-type Shen Gong Wu," Omi informed him.

"It's catch tasty barrels, and I grew up around the ocean so I know it pretty well myself, melon head," Raimundo retorted, then he pointed at Caster. "Also, she's your Servant?"

Omi nodded smiling, "Yes, she is! She is most kind too, why do you ask?"

"Excuse me I need to go cuse up a storm."

"Raimundo summoning up a storm right now would be very counterproductive when we are looking for a Shen Gong Wu that does just that." Omi opined.

Ron though knew exactly what the brazilian teen meant. "Okay, time to find a destructive magic sword, let's go beach bum," Ron said, dragging Raimundo off. Leaving Omi and Caster alone on the beach. Omi turned to his Servant and surrogate mother. "I honestly don't know what Raimundo's problem is, but I'm beginning to get the feeling he doesn't like me all that much."

Caster patted him on the shoulders. "There, there Erzi. If he doesn't play nice I'll just render the flesh from his bones and feed them to the sharks yes?"

Omi shook his head. "No, despite his donkey-like attitude, he is still a Xiaolin Dragon, and thus deserves patience. I'm sure he'll go around as the saying goes."

"He'd better come around," Caster muttered, as she cracked the knuckles in her fist as she clenched her fist, "Or he and I shall have words."

* * *

Under the pier, Kimko and Ashely were trying to claw each other's eyes out. Medusa was keeping Carmilla from getting involved, and by that, we mean killing Kimiko right away with a flick of her finger, while Kim was holding off Carmillia's now murderous attack dogs. Leaving Clay to separate the now murderous girls.

"You kidnapped him you blonde bimbo!" Kimiko yelled, fire literally flying from her mouth as she spoke.

"I just wanted to hang out with him for a bit because Jack is such a worrywart," Ashley rebutted. "Seriously, he threatened to taze me for no reason."

"You tried to kidnap children. Also, lolicon much."

"I am not a lolicon, I just like small cute things… just like you, right?" The blonde thief said with a smirk.

That set the Dragon of Fire off and she threw herself at the older girl. They rolled across the sand and came to a stop with Kimiko on top. Since she was trained in kenpo after all. She pulled her fist back to punch Ashely in the eye only to be lifted bodily into the air.

"Alright that's enough of that," Clay said. He then hefted Ashely to her feet and forcibly held her away from his surrogate little sister. "That's enough outta both a ya. Yer fightin' more than chicks in a nest over grub." He looked to Ashley, then to Kimiko. "Now, Ah know you both got a thing for the lil guy, and that's great!" Caly smiled. "He deserves all the affection he can get far as Ah'm concerned. Right now though, we got bigger fish to fry, that bein' finding that Shen Gong Wu. So do ya think you two kin get along long enough to find the dang thing?" He looked between one then the other, first Kimiko, then Ashely.

The two girls nodded, refusing to meet the cowboy's eyes. He nodded as well and then let them both go then he turned to his Servant. "Rider, Ah think you can let Assassin go yeah?"

Medusa did so, and the woman let off a shrill whistle calling off her mechanical hounds, the redhead cheerleader sighed. "Phew, I was starting to work up a bit of a sweat there," Kim then turned to the girls. "Look girls, I get it, Omi… he's a sweetheart in a naive kinda way."

Ashley and Kimiko looked at the teen superheroine, and Ashely smirked before she said, "Oh, me~ow, I'm not the only one who has a crush on the little guy am I?"

"I admire his dedication and skill in the martial arts," Kim rebutted while looking away, "Plus I watched him cut down a hole through a five inch thick titanium door!" Kim retorted. "You'd have to have insanely high standards not to be impressed after not seeing something like that."

"Omi did something like that… with his water element I'm guessing?" Kimiko asked.

The teen heroine nodded. "He did, he called it simple something he mastered a long time ago. He may lack commonsense and not know idioms, but when it comes to martial arts and his skill with that chi stuff," Kim scoffed and shook her head. "He's practically a one man wrecking crew."

"He's… never shown anything so advanced when we spar." Kimiko muttered to herself loud enough to be heard.

Kim shrugged. "He probably didn't want to show off."

Kimiko shook her head. "You don't know Omi, when we first showed up at the Temple he was all arrogance and pride. He had no idea what wifi was and… well we had to show him a lot of things, and still do."

"There's a difference between pride and arrogance. Plus he's never met other people his own age before you guys right?" Kim questioned, "Of course he was excited."

"True," Kimiko admitted. "I would also like to add he got his advice on women from a book from the sixteen hundreds."

"Oh… well that's not good," Kim replied. Yet she noted Omi didn't seem egotistical.

"Don't worry, Ah set him straight," Clay said.

"You did yes thank you for that," Kimiko acknowledged.

"No problem now let's find that sword y'all, you'd think it'd stand out more than snow in july."

"Master, a word if I may?" Rider asked as they started looking beneath the pier. Clay noticed how shy Rider was being right now and wondered what she wanted.

"Sure," Clay and Medusa moved to a corner and his usually taciturn servant spoke. "I… did not wish for you to find out about my identity in such an… abrupt manner. I am a monster that much is true, but there was… extenuating circumstances to that as well."

"Don't worry 'bout that none Rider," Clay said, lifting his hat up a bit. "Yer past is yer own, and well, not really none o' my business who you were. What matters is who you are. I kin trust you protect me an' my friends right?"

Rider nodded. "Yes."

"Then that's all Ah really care about if I'm bein' honest. Some folk, they may care bout things like someone havin' a past as dark as midnight, but me?" Clay shook his head, "I don' care. It's not about who you were, it's bout who ya are now an what you do now," Clay pointed at the ground as he said this, "So, what're you gonna do Rider?"

The ghost of a smile appeared on the Servant of the Mount's lips though it was semi dark under the pier so Clay might've just been seeing things. "I shall fight and defend you and yours master."

"That's all that matters then. An please quit callin' me Master. Clay'll do just fine Ah told ya."

Medusa the Gorgon nodded and almost savored what she said next, "As you say… Clay."

This earned a smile from the cowboy. "There ya go." He then raised his voice a bit. "Ah don't think that the Sword of the Storm is here ladies."

Kimiko sighed. "Your right Clay, it's not. I wonder if Archer has found anything."

'_Master,'_ Archer chimed in at that exact second, '_Assassin has engaged an enemy Servant. Unless my eyes deceive me, it is a Lancer.'_

"Oh crap," Kimiko said. She told the others, "We need to go now, Raimundo and Ron are in trouble."

* * *

Ron and Raimundo walked down the beach, the brazilian with his hands in his pockets, and Ron with his behind his head. The blonde decided to break the silence. "Okay man, what's you're sitch with Bromi?"

Raimundo looked at Ron, eyebrow raised, "Sitch?"

"Situation, beef, issue," Ron elaborated. "You clearly have _some _kinda problem with him and I kinda wanna know what it is so I can help you be chill around the guy."

Raimundo scoffed. "He just acts like an insufferable little know-it-all when it comes to this Shen Gong Wu and kung-fu stuff. He acts all so holier than thou and I'm getting sick of it."

"Dude," Ron said flatly, "Bromi from how I've come to understand it, that's _literally_ all he knows. Kung-fu, magical artifacts, and music that's pretty much his whole life. He didn't grow up with a loving family, brothers and sisters, or with modern tech like you, me or anyone else did. He's practically someone from a third world country. So can't you just let him be good at what he's good at? I mean, will that kill you dude?"

Raimundo sighed, "I guess not, he's still an annoying little brat though. I mean he can't even tell when I'm just messing around with Kimiko."

"Ah… now it all makes sense," Ron said with a grin.

"What?" The Dragon of the Wind asked defensively.

The sidekick was quick to comment. "You like Kimiko, but the feeling isn't mutual, that about right?"

"Shut up man," Raimundo said darkly. "Also how is it fair that everyone but me gets a supermodel for a Servant?"

"Karma?" Ron guessed.

Raimundo rolled his eyes. "Ha ha very funny blondie. You should really consider taking your act on the road."

Ron just laughed his comment off. "I've considered it man, but seriously though, this sword, any idea what it looks like."

"Like a sword, duh." Raimundo replied, "I'm sure _Omi_ being the _Master of Water _that he is will find it soon enou-omph!"

As he said that, he tripped over something. "Dude, I got wiped out by driftwood."

Ron pointed at said piece of driftwood. "That's not driftwood Dudemundo."

No it wasn't. For sticking out of the sand was the curving hilt of a sword.

Rai looked at Ron. "You don't think it could be?"

"What else could it be?" Ron retorted. Before going over and unearthing the object in full.

It was a bronze shamshir with a serrated edge that had a triangular hole cut out near its tip and engravings going down the length of the blade. Ron held it up and couldn't help but think, '_This thing is giving off the same feeling as the Lotus Blade.' _He turned to Raimundo. "I think we found it!"

"Sword of the Storm hai. Hand it over now hai," A voice called from atop a nearby sandune.

Looking over, Ron and Raimundo saw a rather husky ninja standing alongside him was a man wearing a red jacket underneath a grey fur coat, black pants and martial artist shoes much like Raimundo wore around the temple. He had a Qiang, a chinese spear with a red cloth tied near the broad bladed head, being held lazily in one hand. He had messy red hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a thin if chisels physique.

"Who the heck are you?" Raimundo called out.

"You're opponent hai. Tubbimura and Lancer hai," The ninja introduced.

Lancer turned to his master. "Permission to retrieve the Shen Gong Wu, Master?"

Tubbimura nodded. "Permission granted, hai."

Lancer moved in a burst of speed that kicked up a cloud of sand. There was a split second of silence that was suddenly broken by the clash of steel on steel as Raimundo's Assassin had interposed both himself and his blades in between himself and Ron.

"You may be here to collect the Shen Gong Wu, but you shall leave Young Wukong out of this!" Ruler rebuked the Lancer of Heylin. "He and I are the proper moderators of this war and shall be treated with the respect we are due."

The Lancer jumped back and nodded respectfully towards Ruler, "It will be as you say O Buddha of Sandalwood Merit," He then looked to Ron, "If you would be so kind as to toss the Sword into the sand between us and step back moderator I'd be most thankful," He then pointed his spear towards Assassin and smirked.

"Assassin, can you take him?" Raimundo asked.

Fuma Kotaro was silent for a moment before he nodded. "Yes, he isn't as strong as a Lancer ought to be… nor am I as weak as an Assassin should be either." He replied with a smirk of his own.

"Ruler, what do I do?" Ron asked warily.

Ruler released a sigh. "This situation has now escalated to now be an official matter of the Grail War, thus it is not our place to participate, but to make sure the rules are being followed, Young Wukong. Drop the blade and retreat."

Ron, with some reluctance, did just that. Dropping the Shen Gong Wu in the sand and backing towards Ruler.

Assassin and Lancer eyed each other up, neither said anything for a moment… then a breeze blew in off the ocean and the two inhuman warriors burst into action. Both were blurs of motion, striking at speeds that would put cheetah's to shame over and over again and again, dozens of blows were exchanged in a matter of seconds, and when the two landed on the sand once again, each was covered in minor cuts but Lancer had far more than Assassin did, yet despite that, he was grinning.

"You're faster, faster than me," Lancer complimented.

"And you are more durable than I," Assassin replied, his voice calm.

"Hahahaha! This is fun isn't it? Fighting an opponent you know is strong to the death?" Lancer cajoled before his spear danced, the red cloth flashing in a blur as he poked and prodded at Assassin, who for his part kicked up a spray of sand before disappearing using Presence Concealment.

"Hey, hey Assassin, this is hardly fair!" Lancer called out. He then turned to Raimundo with a steely glint in his eyes. "If you don't come out and fight me, who's going to protect your master huh?"

Raimundo gulped he saw Servants fight for the first time and he knew he was _way_ out of his league. "Umm, Assassin a little _help_, please?!"

Help came in the form of streaks of crimson light descending from the heavens like hominging missiles aimed at Lancer. The Servant of the Spear used his weapon like a polevualt to flip away from the barrage and to safety. Lancer glared into the distance, "Tch, an Archer."

Upon the Ferris Wheel, the red clad bowman smirked. "Ah Lancers, so fun to shoot at," He said to himself as he readied another arrow.

As Tubbimura watched from atop his sandune, he suddenly drew his sword and deflected a thrown kunai aimed at his neck. "You reveal yourself when you strike with your intent to kill, hai."

Assassin popped into existence, a slight scowl on his usually smiling face. "You've been trained in the arts."

"Hai, trained on my father's side in the Iga ninja arts hai, my mother's side taught me the way of the sumo, hai."

Assassin's smile returned. "Well then descendant of the Iga, shall we dance?" Assassin asked as he drew the fuma shuriken his clan's namesake off of his back.

"No thank you, hai," Tubbimura replied, "I know that I am no match for you, hai. I can detect you well enough, hai, but to fight you would be a fool's errand, and that is not my mission hai." Tubbimura then jumped off the sandune and slammed into Raimundo with all the force of a falling comet. He then got up and collected the Sword of the Storm. "Mission complete, hai. Come Lancer we're leaving hai."

"But master, our enemies are still…"

"Raimundo, Ron!" voices called as they raced down the beach. One group was coming from down the shoreline, but another pair was that of a small bald boy riding a half frozen ocean wave standing atop the frozen current next to him was what could only be a Caster with the paper talismans that she was holding between her fingers each radiating pure elemental power.

"Alive," Lancer deadpanned. "Yes, I do believe it is time to leave." He turned and glared at Assassin, "I'll be looking for you on the battlefield Assassin," he then glared in the direction the arrows were coming from, "You as well Archer."

"Looking forward to it," Both Archer and Assassin replied unknowingly at the same time.

Tubbimura and Lancer retreated leaving the Shaolin side to suffer their first defeat, and a foul wind continued to grow within the heart of the Dragon of the Dragon of the Wind.

* * *

**Chapter Length: 18,058 words Number of pages: 45 Date Completed: 6/17/2020**

* * *

**AN: Hello one and all and Welcome to Xiaolin Grail War Ch.3! It had a little bit of everything for everyone. Humor, Servant fights, seriousness, comedy, the works. For those of you wondering, Jackie Chan and co will become more involved starting next chapter. Also Snowy can't come to the Authors Note right now as he's passed out from exhaustion from editing this chapter, but he got it done, so he's free to pass out all he wants as far as I'm concerned. Lol no but seriously folks he's fine. He and I are both powered by reviews so Feed the Beast! Also I have a so give if you so feel like, or don't its like whatever. Till next time Ladies Gentlemen and Others this has been a Bubbajack and IcySnowSage Production! Peace!**


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